Touch, Snap and Spread: The 3 significant sexual moments

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Good day mortals.

It’s a long weekend here in Nigeria and sadly such does not apply to my life because its work 24/7 no rest… brain has to keep working BUT figured I’ll give you a little of my thoughts… yep the random ones.

Please from here? Viewer’s discretion is advised.

Now I was thinking of every time I have gone out with a guy and wondered about every time we got to “the end” zone (I mean the sexual part of the date)… like what took us there? At what point of the night, day or date did I know that I would eventually give it up or know something was going to go down? Was it from the initial touch- the kiss? The feeling of his hand on my skin even without the kiss, or the snap I hear in my head or feel from him unhooking my bra or the way my legs would spread when his hands go down there? At what point do you discard every rule you’ve ever had and say o.k! Its GOING to go down- is it from the Touch? The Snap or The Spread?

Its difficult being a man sometimes… well most times but its even worse being a woman on heat who is trying to be a “good girl” so she gets ultimately what she wants from you- relationship. Don’t get me wrong of course there are the freaks out there that just wanna get theirs and thank the man for his services and never call or just want a shag buddy but all this still applies.

Picture this- you’re just rounding up a date or you go over to a man’s house or he is at yours and of course you have to play “formality” and find out how the person’s day was, talk for a bit or disguise under the “let me cook for you” or “lets watch a movie” but ultimately ANY woman in a confined space with a man she’s attracted to is thinking about ONE thing-“how is tonight going to go?” Its rather annoying because sometimes you can’t even think straight, you’re wondering how long do you have to drag this gist about your funny co-worker or your family jokes or pretend to watch this movie all cuddled up before he makes the move and you are also wondering if the undies you’re wearing are appropriate for this occasion. Long as you and that dude aren’t officially boyfriend and girlfriend or its y’all first’s time? THAT’S what is going to be on your mind when you’re in that confined space. You are praying to God he isn’t an awesome kisser that has the power to moisten those lips just right, which inevitably leads to the slide.

The slide-You know the part where his hands go from your face down to your shoulders and find its way unto the left boob? (I think guys have found that most times the left boob is the right boob to approach first- it’s the best- its mostly bigger… I digress). (Now if you happen to touch the boob and your hand isn’t being pushed away? AWESOME but if it does? Then you have to just concentrate on kissing and feeling her skin without making her feel like meat… the slide will eventually happen).

That slide always determines how far things will go that night. The way a man plays or rather touches her breast tells you a lot about how the rest of the night is going to go. Now any man reading this I NEEEEDDDD you to understand this and every woman reading this will identify- PLEASE the breast is NOT your stress ball! Please do not play with it like the world has angered you… you may not marry us and give us children but our children need a functioning tittie so they can feed- please be gentle.
I don’t think men understand that a woman’s breasts are like their testicles- if you hit a woman in the boob really hard? It’s like hitting a man in the balls… SHIT HURTS LIKE HELL! And don’t do the pick and draw with the nipple- you know? Pick the nipple with your two fingers without letting go and then drops it and then picks it again… it hurts and not in a foot rub kinda way… it hurts HURTS… STOP!

Honestly how you take care of a woman’s body without even feeling any sexual or sensitive organ is the perfect assured gateway to the effective spread.
Now at that moment after a successful snap, the chick is thinking in her mind- “oh my gawd are we gonna have sex tonight?” and she’s thinking- “oh my gawd Im I ready for this?”… No woman’s mind is ever quiet the first time she’s about to have sex with a guy; you see she is still unsure but of course the man’s mind is already made up.

The spread doesn’t always guarantee sex… it could just be an appetizer for her… like a trailer to a potential summer box office hit. Men, the point of a trailer which is usually about 30 secs-2 mins long and its job in that short time is to captivate a viewer to want to give up their time and money just to experience 1 hr 30-2 hr 30mins of a film which could lead to once in a lifetime viewing or birthing a hard core fan that buys the dvd, merchandise, and mostly importantly spread the news about how awesome that movie is- so yes the moment of the spread is not always triumph… it’s a test in some cases and if done QUITE RIGHT? The viewer will show up for premiere night and pay twice the cost of the film JUST because they can’t wait for it anymore.

It’s a lot of pressure I know but every moment you’ve ever spent with this person leads to the success of three important sexual moments- Touch, snap and spread. Women if you aren’t ready to handle the consequence or benefits from what will happen the next day? PLEASE just put a mental chastity belt on that and wear your granny panties until you’re ready for whatever may come next.

To the men who get the touch, snap, spread and SMILE on first try? I congratulate you. The smile is her being satisfied about the whole night, you ultimately getting laid and wants to come back for seconds. Don’t misunderstand the Touch, snap and spread to be a successful night, she may have been very unsatisfied after that whole build up to be let down… believe me you may NEVER get a second chance.

It’s not a lot to think about but it does happen… Those moments, those tiny moments you think maybe insignificant? Open a WHOLE lot of other doors- how she treats you, how she respects you, how she wants you, bringing out her inner freak, cooking for you, spending on you- TRUST me a satisfied woman in bed is a very huge key to a successful and nag free relationship, shag buddy situation, fling… trust! Only problem is when you start to act a fool which can still be mended by an effective and satisfying lay.

Men? Just take your time… take your time- we aint going nowhere; once you get it right from the word “go”- we’re yours… do what you will.

So just Touch, snap and score…

This has been a public service announcement.

written by Mimi Achineku
Twitter: @mimiachineku

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