Music, Videos and Hos… from a female perspective

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I was having this very sincere conversation with my ex-girlfriend (let’s call her Hayla) last week. We decided to hang out on a Saturday. We are not friends per-se, but we are not enemies and I never burn bridges. She called on a Friday night saying she was at so-and-so club (it was on my side of town), so she wanted me to join her. But I figured she’d be with her friends and maybe one or two random dudes, so I declined mainly because I was certain I’d feel out of place. But the next day she insisted we go out for drinks and drove to my place to pick me up (what can I say; I guess I left a good impression. Lol!)

So we are at a bar with drinks and conversation and Trace TV… when Durella’s “Club Rock” comes on, and I watch as Hayla’s eyes widen with anger and disgust,  then she starts… (oh I forgot to mention, Hayla is one of those liberated kind with amazing push for success, IQ, ambition blah blah…but cute too *don’t say I didn’t warn you*). My own thoughts, as she rants, are in brackets (I no fit shout).

Hayla: I am so tired of videos like these. Isn’t this so cliché – the naked women, the alcohol, the jerks and the night life? One day we wake up and NBC bans Wande Coal’s video, the next day they claim it’s just a part of the video that was banned – the one where the girl in a wet get-up is wriggling like a toad. NBC is just as confused as these music directors – they are never sure whether to have ten girls pinching Durella’s nipples or whether to have one scantily-dressed woman sucking Wande’s dick in the rain (errr…but it didn’t happen exactly like that, Hayla. The girl was just dancing in the rain. That can’t be wrong, can it?)! Women are objectified and demeaned by this very uncreative business called contemporary music. Whatever happened to telling a story? You know, like Bez’s “more you” (Bez is great and all, but he isn’t topping charts with his story telling oh). Why can’t they shoot a video with a freaking story? Every pop song is about sex, every rap song is about booty, every video is about getting drunk and banging the dumb bitch with a napkin across her chest (I suspect those dumb bitches love their jobs and love being objectified cos no one put a gun to their head, dear Hayla). Young girls are finding it difficult to decide who they are because they are constantly reminded that if you don’t look a certain way then you won’t be able to make it through life. A superficial generation with no real values! And it continues to deride our morals – people are too materialistic, too caught up on frivolities. We are teaching our men how not to appreciate a woman beyond the size of her bust and butt (these women put this shit in our faces, Hayla! All ‘em boobs popping out of their tiny dresses! How’s that a man’s fault?) ; and the women see no point in building their intellect because ultimately it is their butt and bust that will determine whether they will find love, find happiness, wear the latest Loubs and be in the cool crowd. Nobody cares about her intellect, her body will open doors. So what happens if she doesn’t have the stereotype look (she’ll still get a good man if she got good character, I think)? She will have to scratch with claws to get any kind of respect or attention in a world dying of vanity! These videos are offensive to me as a woman, their lyrics just make me sick! And then men complain that women are so shallow and so covetous these days (but they are, aren’t they?). Why wouldn’t they be? Look at your music videos for answers! You have a young lady who should be channelling her youthful energy to getting a smart degree, but she’s busy rolling her behind to a fistful of hungry eyes. And when she’s done, does she expect that they’d ever take her seriously? She has been made an object – one without a brain, without a decent objective to life. Sex is the cheapest thing to buy these days. For Brazilian weave, an under-graduate will get all her holes occupied. For a Louis Vuitton bag, they’ll sleep with you and blow your father at the same time (damn, Hayla! That’s nasty!). It is disgraceful, and these videos and lewd lyrics are to blame. …

(I swear, she said all of that in one breath! She takes a sip from her drink. I wanted to say something out loud but then her mouth opens again…)Hayla: Rap is especially to blame. A culture that has no respect for women! They refer to women with lose terms like a piece of rag, and the silly girls will wriggle to a song that calls them hos! You’d think these musicians did not come through a vagina! And do you know violence grows out of all of this? When you sing songs about “bum bum” “go low” “straight up sexing” “wind yo waist” and all of those sleazy derogatory terms that instruct the woman to suck on a dick or bend over for a spanking, do you know it encourages violence and promotes rape? Their lyrics keep telling us that we can be bought and sold (is that not true?), they have women half-naked with dollar bills on her ass – you know, like we are a dime a dozen! Can we not be sensual without being so damn offensive? And can we not make beautiful music without calling a woman a “ho”? Or can we not enjoy a music video without shutting the eyes of our 12 year-old nephews? Uuugghhh! I need another drink!

(errr….and that was the very sincere conversation I had with my ex-girlfriend. Since she was so vexed, I didn’t think I should bore her with my own side – the male side – of this thesis. But I’ll tell you what I think, as a 21st century male, about music video, lyrics, and women soon!)




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  1. I share a few of those sentiments too and i’m a guy… I’m actually tired of all the music videos with butts in yo’ face all the time. Waiting to see when we’ll have real music again… till then, i’ll be jammin my songs from the Alternative genre and a few from Choc City boys…

  2. @Dennis, I agree choc boiz (well, MI in particular) can never go wrong! He knows just the right amount of sensual, cool, swag, lust and love that should go into a song without making it cheap and offensive. He is a genius, so no surprises there!

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