I wish I met my husband in my old age; like in my forties or something. Of course, that would mean I would never have had my children, so I don’t regret that. I love my kids. They make everything worth living for. I am just saying…
Like six months before we got married, my husband and I stopped speaking to each other; you know, sharing thoughts and dreams and stuff. It didn’t get better after we got married. You are probably wondering how we got married then if we were not really speaking for six months. Well, we always told each other, “I love you.”
And then we have this bond in our hearts, I guess. But there was also this distrust. He never expected me to go through with the wedding and after we got married, he waited every day for me to leave him. It was this distrust- or dissatisfaction on my part- that would not allow us be friends anymore but just partners. We are a perfect unit. We complete each other whether we are speaking or not. Our love is telepathic. (Laughs)
And maybe our children sensed the strain between us or maybe they didn’t. We never fought in front of them or yelled at each other. We were a perfect front which probably made it even harder for them to understand when I just upped and left after fifteen years of marriage. But I knew I would come back and he knew it. He kept telling everyone we were not getting a divorce. I was too far away to tell anybody anything.
I was away for four years. Four years of sanity.
Not like my life before then was insane. But I felt stifled. I only stayed that long- fifteen years- so that the older kids would be mature enough to take care of the younger ones- which they did perfectly.
Four years later, I was back. I knew he would take me back but didn’t expect him to. He took me back, the kids too. They didn’t begrudge my silence. They wanted to read my books. They were hurt, of course. But like my first son said as an explanation to everything, “Mummy is crazy that way.”
How well your kids know you, right? (Chuckles)
My husband and I are fast friends these days. We joke and laugh like we did in our twenties, in the first few weeks when we fell in love, when we shared our hopes and dreams and knew we would be together forever.