CHIDINMA: PAST. PRESENT. FUTURE.

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This is just a short contribution from Chidinma.

Of Resolutions
Five months and 17days ago, I had a plan.

I had come up with a rough albeit clear blueprint of what my year would look like. I felt alive and strong enough to conquer the world…my world.

Then the year started in earnest…and procrastination my old enemy came visiting.

Before I knew it, deadlines were lost and major plans went awry.

Just about the same time, my inner man took a battering from a confused and weak flesh and my self-esteem went hiking.

Oh Yes! It did.

Of Friends
Now, I do not profess being stable all the time…I mean, I have my emotional lows and highs like most normal people do and striking a balance, is what I need to gift myself this year.

To get to this place where I can freely give to myself, I need to let go of a lot of people.

-The ones who have been there, never adding neither do they deduct from me. I have to leave behind.

-So too, those who constantly drain me of my energy source. They are those who take me for a court jester and turn to me for laughs only. I need you not on this new path.

WHY?

Simply because, I do not believe in the friends for life theory.

I am sorry, but that right there is BS!

You see, most people/friends come into your life for a reason and they walk away when their work is done. Simple! Shikena. FIN!

There is no need rushing to rekindle a kinship that has run it’s course all in the name of being friends.

Of Me and Myself

What I need to learn this year is the ability to forgive. 

By this, I mean I need to learn to stop berating myself for mistakes long gone and truly forgive me. This is the only way I can finally grow…to the place i know i should be.

I must let go of the past and the pains and walk with a new spring in my step. 

I must let go of this need to hide behind incessant chats and face my fears.

But most especially, I must learn to be whole in the best possible manner.

Living the way I do is sometimes tiring.

And in case you never guessed, I am flawed. Perfectly flawed in a way that only I can understand.

Of Present Times
So today, as I turn 18 yet again, I have decided to gift myself with the very best this new year.

– Better choices.

– Forgiveness, in it’s purest form (forgetting the hurt).

and 

-Faith that sees a green light, even though the world is screaming red. 

Happy Birthday To Me.
XOXO

Chidinma

Chidinma

I am the personification of Brutally blunt and Witty. I love my jokes funny, my music loud and my gists, colourful. I live my life by rules- my rules- and make no apologies for why I act the way I do. I define creativity as the act of evolving and evolving… Suffice to say that life and I are on first name terms- he is crazy about me too!

2 comments

  1. I just lurv this..you write good, gurl…and HBD to u too…(All diz june born dey try ni)…and it seemed u were jst writing abt me tho..(Hav u been stalkn me??)

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