First of all I want to start by saying I am no feminist and I am not backing any women rights organization neither am I a member of any women rights activist groups. I am just a woman who has had enough.
Funny enough I wrote this in the early hours of the morning beside someone I was “dating” and wondering “what the hell am I doing here”.
I am speaking from me, myself and I, the experiences I have encountered and what I see my fellow ladies and friends go through so I warn you there’s nothing in this article that is (excuse my language) coming from my ass. I have always wanted to share my views with women because I always see a lot of rubbish good women put themselves through in the name of “I want to get married” I ask you WHAT HAPPENS AFTER YOU GET THE RING? Smile and fade into the background?
I am not going to go into little cliché lines like “why do men get to sleep with multiple women but when women do it we are considered whores” you see that is so YEAR 2000; my own question is “Why can’t a woman just not care as much about a man like a man would do a woman that he is just getting benefits from?”
Our generation has changed, a woman isn’t necessarily with a man because she wants to be in love or married, sometimes it’s just because he is a distraction or he is there or as my friends and I call it- “lack of option”. I have been heartbroken before (as most women and men have) and I admit I haven’t had a boyfriend in years and I mean more than two (no I am not bad looking neither am I gay). It’s because I really value my peace of mind than to have some Neanderthal use my emotions as a ping pong ball on a table tennis board because there’s no light to play his Wii isn’t operational or something.
I am tired of being messed about and I am tired of seeing good women being messed about so I have these points to help you not to get hurt with whoever you are with as you keep waiting for him to get his “act right” or whoever your Mr. Right now is:
1. Never call him more than once I assure you he saw your missed call. LET HIM CALL YOU. Someone asked me “what if he doesn’t have credit or bad network, it didn’t ring etc.” My reply “SO?!” IF A MAN WANTS TO REACH YOU – OH HE WILL REACH YOU. These are the same excuses we make for the guys every time- RUBBISH.
2. Always ALWAYS look at him as a project. Like a project you don’t call by name you give a name; you can call him either what I call them no.1 no.2. You can be creative with it.
3. Oh my dear never show him how you feel, vulnerability is paved on the road to hell; as the saying goes “the road to hell is paved with good intentions”; seemed like a good idea at first but he WILL put you through hell. Feelings he is showing when you are not officially together or committed are for wusses, Africa magic and Hollywood-Fake!.. FILM TRICK IT’S NOT REAL! RUN!
4. Don’t withhold sexual activity. Have the upper hand, enjoy yourself and then leave HIM and not the other way round. Men are probably smiling and saying HELL YEA but when we flip the script? IT SUCKS. He will WANT you more for using him.
5. Let him understand he is lucky to be in your presence and ultimately you don’t need him… he is just a means to an end. YOU are doing him a favour not the other way round.
6. Now in reference to the above: you don’t need to tell him you are desired, when you go out he’ll see that all on his own especially when you slap on that “strip me” dress and “f**k me” pumps/shoes.
7. If you sleep over feed him once and leave him. Let him taste what he’ll always want to own but will never again have.
8. When you are in bed and he says “I love sleeping with you” (PG version) never NEVER return the compliment just say “I know you do”
9. Ladies, girls WOMEN please we are guilty of this too much- when you go out PLEASE OH PLEASE don’t act like you are his girlfriend just because you are friends with benefits. Why? You ask:
i. You are making him look good in front of his guys, other girls now want him because you are with him and you are now the inside joke because his mates both female and male are laughing at you behind your back… so sad and you looked good too in that strip me dress.
ii. Now because in your mind you feel you came out together, he starts talking to other women you get jealous, end up looking RATHER foolish in his front and he’ll proceed to call you clingy.
iii. You now restrict your own fun for someone who is acting like you are a plague when you are trying to dance with him. Woman you are hot, have fun with anyone and everyone if he wanted you not to he would have made some sort of commitment by now… fish plenty for sea (old saying but true).
10. Final point please please just because you spread your legs for him doesn’t necessarily mean he owes you anything. So if he doesn’t take you out to dinner, buy you credit? Please don’t be angry… buy yours.
I know a lot of guys reading this article are going to thank me because I have now said to women it’s ok to have meaningless non-attached sex… You are welcome. Problem is men kind of like “b*tches” so they tend to fall in love with a woman exuding all the above because in their minds they want to make an “honest woman” out of you.
Please women accept no such ring from this type, the fact you had to result to these tips makes the person you’re with not worth it and you can do way better. Someone once told me “you have to train your man” and my friend replied to that statement by saying “you mean at this age and time I have to train a man?! I want my man to be a ready to go meal that I probably have to put in the microwave for 2 minutes at least to warm up. I don’t have the patience to prepare the meal from scratch!”
We all have a prince charming I am sorry but please just be patient BUT in the meantime you can have fun with Mr. Right now.
The truth is, yes it could be because I was heartbroken once I think like this and I may sound bitter to some but truth is behind every dick of a man was a woman or girl that broke his heart… so women we did this to men only problem is you have to pay for some girl’s sin.
Warning: This ONLY refers to men who after you gave your all and the man in question is not getting his act together but you just don’t have the strength to leave –then follow the steps above… believe me you will notice the changes and your self-confidence will be o so high.
Please don’t become mumu on top man…
This has been a public service announcement.
Written by: Mimi a.k.a The Truth.