HNM E1 (Happy New Month Everyone)

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Happy new month everyone, abi I should just say “HNM E1”!

Please am I the only one that got multiple stupid broadcast messages at the beginning of the month? I am not a bitter individual; it’s just that they practically pinged blackberry batteries to death! It is okay to be happy and thankful to God for bringing you into yet another month of the year but puhleaseeee, who are we fooling?

It is less about the nobility and in fact absolutely all about the spirit of attention and “follow follow”; it is not until you drain phone batteries that God will appreciate your thanks and praise na,  abi where in the holy books did it say “son of man! Thou shalt ping, tweet, facebook, youtube, hi5 and text your prayers, thanks and praises to the whole world before they will be accepted in heaven”  Biko stop it, I’m not interested in knowing what you want God to do in your life. And since when did we even start doing “happy new month” sef? I thought it was happy New Year oh; they can as well decide to be throwing banger and fireworks at the beginning of every month na or better still you can be travelling to the village to celebrate new month *hiss*

So Nigerians are known to do oversabi, like it is in our blood to over-do things and after reading this you will understand fully what I mean. We did not only develop the stupid “Happy New Month” habit, we decided also to go hard on the social media/texting abbreviations. I’m sure as you read this last sentence, you let out a small chuckle out of guilt. We all do it, we lol, lmfao, smh, kmt, and all but we Nigerians just had to come up with our own!

I noticed it when I started seeing “lwkmd” (laugh wan kii me die), and I accepted defeat when I started seeing “lwmmas”(laugh wan make me accept subsidy). There is nothing that has not been abbreviated nowadays the most annoying ones are those ones mixed with numbers L what the hell is “am I your m8?” why can’t you just say “mate” ehn? It is so bad that some people actually text while talking, they say “lol” instead of actually laughing , “kmt” instead of actually hissing , “btw” instead of actually saying “by the way” and worse off they say pronounce “LMFAO” as “limfow” L; before you know it now everybody will start to text-talk, it will be the new in-thing. You will juz be hearing “can you text-talk?” it will be the new sexy thing (don’t be surprised, there is nothing we Nigerians cannot turn into a trend). To make it clearer I will make a list of some of the abbreviations I know below; feel free to put some in the comment box as well, if I left them out.

Lol= laugh out loud

Lmao=laughing my ass out

Rotflmao=rolling on the floor laughing my ass out

Kmt=kiss my teeth

Smh=shaking my head

HBD=Happy birthday

RME=rolling my eyes

LLNP=Long life ‘n’ prosperity

HNY=Happy new year

HNM=happy new month

UW=your’e U welcome

@TEOTD=at the end of the day *L*

8L3W=8 letters 3 words (I love you)

ICS=I can’t shout

LWKMD= laugh wan kii me die

LWTMB=laugh wan tear my belle

OIC= oh I see…

D1SD= dat one sef dey

HHHH= Hip! Hip! Hip! Hurray!!!

EDYB= e dey your body

GGMYB=God go make you bigger


WYP=what’s your pin



ICF=Ice cream factory

Ff=following/follow *twitter*

Cydm=see check your dm

SP=set P


RAB=round “a”bout

NYK= na you know

NYW= na your way

I know and am very sure that this is not all there is!!! We are too creative a people to only make up such a small amount of abbreviations so please share with us the ones you know in the comment box.

*btw am I the only one that finds myself putting ‘lol’ at the end of every sentence while texting or bbming, even if im not laughing I find myself putting “lol” anyhow*




Nerdy Fashionista, hopeless shopaholic, shamelessly vain and a firm believer in "ALWAYS" looking fabulous even through her hectic & frustrating role as a Bio. Engineer. Nurturing a secret crush on all fashionable Men, she wishes she'd have a Men's fashion line one day. Her glasses and confidence are her best accessories regardless of countless jewelry and cute shoes and bags. Be sure to trust fashion through her eyes! @toekunbore: don't be shy to say hi on twitter!

1 comment

  1. Idd: i don die
    bbr: be ryt back
    10q: thank you
    smh: somehow
    idlgbhyha: i don laff giv boko hara your house address
    BH: Boko haram.

    That is not all sha but time no dey to type it all…

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