Most of my topics come from conversations I have with people and every time I write something I assure you I am not trying to change the world or reveal an unexpected truth; I am just simply voicing out what people probably talk about between their friends or wonder in their minds. I am no Oprah, besides she has better hair or weaves, least it’s her own… I digress.
I was speaking to my friend about “keeping your values” and what I mean by this is closing your legs before you marry a guy or date a guy. My friend felt rather irritated about how some men look at girls as prudes because they don’t want to give up the goods in their preferred period of time. I simply said these are the few breeds left that are traditionalists not prudes.
Some people have “principles” and “rules” before sleeping with a guy or girl and that’s GREAT, honestly it is, but what I detest is when the ones who fully implement these rules are discarded for it and called Prudes or insulted for their virginity. Virgin talk is for another day besides some of my friends will beat me if I even support virgins… I digress.
Honestly, I am a traditionalist or least I was… I used to be the kind that would need to know you for a year or 6 months before I let you see my skin under the clothes I am wearing. I had it in my mind that with these principles and rules, a man would respect me more and he will INEVITABLY give me that title “Girlfriend”. I would finally earn that passenger seat by his side with his boys in the back seat, I will eventually be the one hand holding and snogging him in public and I will finally get that introduction “Meet Mimi, my girlfriend”. Err yea… none of that ever happened. What happened was I let them wait for too long or eventually they got close and I’m hit with a rude awakening of just being their prey.
I told one of my girlfriends the amount of guys I had been with, she looked at me with shock and shouted “ERR PLEASE DOUBLE THAT NUMBER BY THE END OF THIS YEAR”. Funny bit is my friend is in a rather happy relationship and has been less of a prude than I could ever dream of being YET she got her man.
My question is – The rules that applied back then, do they still apply now? In fact I found out (subjective research of course), that the more of a bitch a girl is? The more she has the guy “gagging” for her, nice girls finish last.
Problem is we always use someone’s stories to assist or worsen a situation. It always starts with “I know a girl that…” “I heard of a relationship that…” So you always feel there’s hope in your situation by sticking to that tradition or being a prude and it JUST might work out for you. I may have not been one of the strong ones but I figured five years doing the same thing and its time I stepped it up a bit or changed my routine. Shockingly, I did and I felt more wanted than ever ONLY problem that came with this was these men wanted me to commit to the ever pretence convenient title of “Shag buddy”.
So what I am I supposed to do right to secure a guy? Not sleep with him till I know where the situation is going? Hold back entrance into my garden? (I love using that to describe Vayjayjay’s- he he “Garden”) Tease him a bit and let him know that once he “wifes me” there’s a pot of gold after the struggle?
I was told that men love to be chased. I’m sorry but not all girls are able runners AND I was also told men love to chase but also not all girls are willing preys to be hunted, some will just stand, arms wide open, in front of you and say “I’m here have your way with me”; And some don’t want to be chased they already know what they want.
I’m sorry this blog is my subjective opinion but ME PERSONALLY, I don’t believe in games. I believe when I fancy a guy and he has made known he fancies me I will let him know he doesn’t have to continue the chase – I like you too… now start a new race to KEEP me liking you.
I don’t want to be a prude; I would like to be termed as a traditionalist. It’s sad that my standards have dropped because I don’t see the point in holding out anymore (I think a lot of girls my age or older can identify) I just rather get it out-of-the-way IF I like you enough of course, and I’m even more sorry men say “I would love to bang” but unleash the fine print when the deed is done – “I’m sorry I’m not looking for anything serious”… you are now sitting there shaking your head really fast like a Warner Bros cartoon and going “Whhhhaaaa?? But we just… I mean I just… But you” and then we say “at least he was honest” that don’t mean dude still aint a … (getting personal there, sorry).
You’ll find most girls are traditionalist but when they just want to get off or need something? OH, THEY ARE ALL FOR THE SEX.
I keep preaching “Do You, Be You”. If you see that boy that you have been craving for? Go for it… I promise you if he wanted you for his girlfriend or wife? He would’ve said or done something by now. Might as well get something out of the sleepless nights you’ve strategized on making him want you or ask you out.
If a guy wants you for his girlfriend or wife, there’s not much you can do but Be You; all the rules and regulations in the world wont help you, once he likes YOU. Unless of course you can just MANIPULATE him into loving you (I don’t think guys know we can do that… I digress).
If you are termed by society as a Prude or Traditionalist or whatever… WHO cares JUST DO YOU. We are ALL inevitably headed down the road of commitment. Question is, WHEN?.
This has been a Public Service Announcement.