Women Age Like Dogs!

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I know the title of this blog seems “controversial” but like I say to people I only like to speak the truth, so here it goes… Women? The awful truth is? We age like dogs.

There’s a common term used “dog years” which by the old rule of thumb, one dog year equals to seven years of a human but its more true that for a dog 2yrs is equivalent to 10.5yrs to humans, a dog of six yrs is about 45yrs old to a human (according to some research, but I’ll refer to this and give more accurate figures during the course of this piece)…. in this case this is how we women grow, I’ll explain.

When women reach a certain age they are deemed “too old” for certain things. Remember how women mature faster than men? How we grew taller than the boys in Pri 1 (1st grade if you are butta)? There’s a reason. Truth is we’ve always been more ready than men to do a lot of things, please I am no feminist… I only speak the truth.

A woman is good for marriage from the age of 20, and some cultures even 12yrs old but let’s use “the new world” to judge. A woman at 25 already starts saying “my family are looking at me and asking where’s my husband” while a man at 25? They still look at and say “he is too young”. There’s this pressure, I think nowadays, women put on themselves more than family does, just because you attended your friend’s wedding or have become a serial wedding attender… you CAN’T wait for yours.

How come when I’m 28 I will now be looked at as a fossil? Or as my friend would say “last leg”; now people will say to me “you cant be picky anymore, you have to start looking for security mostly when you want to marry”. Doesnt it kind of sound like we age like dogs?

When you hear a dog is 7 years old you think, WOW its old; if you hear a man is 28yrs old you are like “kmt he is a small boy” infact in dog years that means he is just 2 years old (Looks mature but can act like a 10yr old baby… ladies we’ve all been there).

Why can’t I be ready to marry WHEN I’M ready?…. unfortunately your body doesn’t agree with that decision, well our eggs I guess.

Most painful bit is when I see people that say “Ooooohh we’ve been together since University or High school” for these ones I say SERIOUS prayers for them because my MAIN fear is he may trade you in for a new model, a FRESH newly born puppy with POTENTIAL, perky boobs, a tight ass, so much energy to hit the club and party for days, who can still galavant without thinking of how’s that’s going to kill its legs in the morning and uses the hip new slangs like “famz” and… sorry sorry I’m calm sorry. Its just rather painful. I mean a woman’s prime is her 20s, a MAN?? Probably his 40s.

I personally don’t believe age is a factor for a man to act right. I’ve seen men marry at 25yrs old and some marry at 40yrs old. I honestly believe its the man within and when he is ready NOT what age dictates. I’m sure a LOT of women, especially me, are tired of the “I’m not ready” speech presented by men… As my friend said to me “Dont be mad and hate, get back and date”; he simply meant if he isnt ready? Find the one that is… SIMPLE! Its painful but true.

I finally FELT I connected with someone like I haven’t connected with anyone in YEARS infact the way its going its possible I may have dreamt the whole feeling in my head, he ofcourse gave me the”I’m not ready” speech (which I have heard so many times before either from my men or my friends’ stories)… Honestly I’m not angry anymore, I dont believe he wasnt ready I just believe it wasnt me he wanted OR MAYBE he just GENUINELY isn’t ready whatever it was? Honestly that’s fine BUT I wont let it get to me… I age like a dog remember? I dont have that much time left before my boobs sag and I start looking like a shadow of my former self. Women NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO be mother Theresa or the most evil b*tch in the world… Its until he is ready… just age gracefully.

Honestly? I’m not afraid of old age… I cant wait for it. Call me stupid but I’m more excited about the possibilities life has to offer than worrying about wrinkles and sagging boobs (I’m sorry I love my boobs this will be the saddest part about old age that gets me). I can’t wait to see what more I have to accomplish, places I’m going to visit, people I will meet, nephews and nieces coming… Its all too exciting to sit in one place and be sad because I’m living dog years and I’m still single. Dont get me wrong I wouldnt like to do it all alone, I would like a companion and kids BUT if it hasn’t come nko? Will I kill myself?

I have been advised a lot by my elder ones “dont marry for love, marry for security then love will come after”. I support this advice but this advice usually comes from the 4yr old aging dogs (according to the chart below) in their “last leg”… Dont get me wrong they are happy now in their marriage, what I was told was let him love you more than you love him, the love will come years later. Jeez! That sounds RATHER depressing I must tell you but it is reality… I pray to God EVERYDAY that I marry for both love and security, I’m sorry I’m very convential I believe in growing with my husband and then we make EACH other secure.

Women, depression KINDA makes you look ugly, yes MAC can fix it but MAC can’t bury it all.

Be like a dog and wag that tail at the most stupid things in life that DO make you happy, age gracefully and your mate WILL come. I tell my friends “dont be sad if it didn’t work out; every rejection from a man is redirection to the right one”… Just do your part which is simple- Be happy.

This has been a public service announcement.

Oh if you want to know your age as a dog here you go:

 

***Written By Mimi***

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4 comments

  1. Interesting write, Mimi. Enjoyed reading this but I must tell you that not all women age like dogs. Some look really good even in mid age and younger men go the extra mile to have them forever! Everything boils down to maintenance. The way a woman grooms herself m

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