Our people say “Eburu ozu onye ozo, odika ebu nku” meaning “if the corpse being carried is not a relative of ours, to us it’s just mere firewood”.
The above is the general attitude towards things that does not directly “affect” us.
In recent times, I have come across several stories, pictures and articles on violence. I don’t mean nations going to war or twitter fights, I mean, People who were once in love going against each other physically.
Here’s what baffles me?
How can you cause physical harm to someone you once claimed to love?
How can love no longer be enough to stop you in your tracks, the moment you are about to hit someone you love (d)?
How can you not think about the good times that you’ve shared with someone and let that play a role in your decision-making?
I recently saw the story of a man that cut off his wife’s fingers and that brought me to tears.
How can you deface something you cannot recreate?
I didn’t bother to read the rest of the story to find out what the woman might have done to warrant such a punishment because I don’t believe that there is any crime that would push you to cut the fingers of someone who you once accepted as your wife and probably the mother of your children.
I also read a story of a lady that committed suicide 12 years after an acid bath that disfigured her face. She tried to accept the “new life” given to her by another and when she couldn’t get used to it, she took her OWN life.
There are people out there still fighting/settling relationship issues with acid bath. What happened to walking away?
Can’t we just end a relationship and walk away leaving each other the same way we met PHYSICALLY?
I’ve not been married before but I heard that marriage is not easy. I heard that marriage with your spouse will do things that would make you regret ever being with them in the first place and sometimes it feels like a big CAGE.
On the flip side, I heard that most times the good side of a marriage outweighs the bad side. (Makes me wanna marry!)
So, if a marriage is bad or has lost its “sweetness “ or if your spouse angers you in a way you cannot FORGIVE him or her, is it not better to either move out or ask the person to move out or better still end the marriage instead of hitting them?
Today, there are so many of us out there in abusive relationship, taking the heat and keeping mute. Hoping that someday the beating will stop. Some thinking “When we are finally married, the beating will stop”, some thinking ‘When I finally become the mother of his children, the beating will stop”, some thinking “The gift that come after the beating shows that he’s sorry” and the rest thinking “If I leave him now, there may be no grass on the other side and I wont be able to enjoy being referred to as “ Mrs”.
There’s no justification for Violence in relationship or marriage.
Violence is NOT the answer.