Greetings earthlings. (I should come up with a signature greeting. WHAT? Its my blog, I can cry if I want to :-p).
Ok this topic didn’t come from any conversation but experiences of my friends and things that we have all witnessed but didn’t necessarily take account of. Nice guys actually DO finish first.
We are all growing up, faster than some and it just so happens that our standards have now dropped, AMAZINGLY, from that long list we first started with. You know that list that detailed the kind of man you wanted to marry… tall, handsome, nice bass voice, deep hazel eyes that you can see into your soul… you know THAT list. Now we just say “I want a nice guy” or even worse “I just want an idiot (mumu) for me”
I say nice guys finish first because what we seem to hear about our friend’s husband or some girl that has had a bad experience with men who just got engaged is… “He is just a nice guy”. I’m sorry but I believe EVERY guy is a nice guy, he just wasn’t nice to you; doesn’t necessarily mean anything was wrong with you… it just wasn’t you. The nice guy that your friend got married to or even you? I ASSURE you was a dick to someone else.
You see the thing is I had no idea what a “nice guy” looked like in a relationship. I used to believe that arguments, cold attitude are just normal things in a relationship and it just makes you “stronger”… was I wrong.
I have learnt it’s very important to marry or date your friend. Arguing and breaking up all the time? I assure you… ISN’T normal. Every girl has had one of these kinds of relationships. I’ve experienced being with my friend and I tell you its awesome! It just wasn’t our time, no one’s fault.
Problem is how do you even spot a nice guy? I mean these days you can’t even tell what men want anymore.
They do all the required things on your list- take you out, pay attention to you for the required time etc. until they leave you hanging. My friend told me once: “This guy doesn’t want to sleep with me and I am the one forcing it.” When I heard this story, I was convinced the guy likes my friend way too much for him its not a conquest anymore, its his. My friend on the other hand, was convinced he was gay or wasn’t attracted to her. She couldn’t comprehend why she would give herself to a guy she had just started dating and he wanted to “take it slow”.
Problem is we have been beaten and bruised so much we can’t even identify the Good Samaritan or Prince Charming that comes along. We are just on that constant attack mode because every time you have let your guard down? Someone came and let you down even further (this applies to men too; because you know there’s one girl who came along and turned that nice guy into an ass… we aren’t innocent either).
Nice guys finish first because they are the ones who inevitably get the girl, who has been bruised and battered so much. Thing about these nice guys is the work harder than the ass that came before him. You know that one prick that made it almost impossible for us to love or feel again.
Nice guys are the ones we should pay attention to NOT because he is the last resort but because he cares about you, he will listen to every dead story about your sister or cat or dog, knows your siblings and friends names, want to take care of you or see you when you are sick, checks up on your health, life, progress, his joy is seeing you happy, staying up late just because you want to talk even though he is sleepy as hell, will listen to you talk about another man even though he wants you, stays with you on the phone because you are scared; YOUR needs come first because they are HIS first or even her first. Don’t miss out on the nice guy or nice girl because of what Mills and Boons portrayed or what you are used to. You can have your nice guy if you just try… Besides I hear its better when a man loves you more. I hear.
A lot of girls are reading this and going “eewww, THANK YOU BUT I’ll still wait for the fine guy”. To them I say? I assure you its not just fine guy you’ll chop. Not saying give every “nice guy” that comes along give a chance and drop all your standards, just be smart and give your heart a chance to love someone who has already done the work for you i.e. loves you more; that dick you are waiting for? May never come back as the nice guy you want him to be.
I admit girls do like bad guys… there’s something about them. Yes, even when a guy insults/rejects us? Its sexy. We don’t get why he would not find us attractive… Its intriguing; we want him. I assure you no girl wants to marry the “bad guy”. Yes, sleep with you, want to be your girlfriend so bad BUT we don’t want that life forever. Proposing under the eiffel tower, presents for no reasons, dinner dates etc. THOSE nice things are what girls want at the end of the day AFTER all the games.
This is to every nice guy out there, we know you weren’t always nice but the fact you decided to be nice to her? Is appreciated. Forgive; her heart has been trampled on. She needs to know she can trust again and trust you utterly and completely. Please be patient with her… because she is worth it. Thank you.
This has been a public service announcement.
***Written By Mimi Achineku***