The time is ten minutes past 2am, and for reasons best known to my forefathers, I’m awake and thinking about Wizkid. LOL! Was that a hiss? Did you just go, “Don’t tell me you made us come all the way over here to talk about him”. Be calm and permit me five more minutes of your precious time as I attempt to redeem myself. Well, you know how Nigerian pastors use the phrase “Let us use Mr. or Mrs. A as a point of contact for all the unmarried people in our midst?” Same difference, the subject here is Envy and the case study is Wizkid.
I had a late night chat with a dear friend and we discussed a bevy of subjects. Of all the things he said this line below struck a chord.
“The reason I do like Wiz (Wizkid) is that every time I look at him I see a blessing” – Dibbz
Who does this? Who is sincerely happy for someone that doesn’t even know he exists? Well, my friend does and with that statement he has engraved his name in my heart, forever.
How many of us have honestly celebrated a stranger’s good fortune without ill feelings or bitterness? Better still, how many of us are truly happy when a friend attains massive success, while we wallow in oblivion? Often times we know better than to dwell on our envy because the good in us usually wins. Something clicks in our heads and we realize that this is a dear friend and we should be happy for him/her. So we smile and say “Congratulations, I am happy for you”.
Envy – feeling bitter and unhappy because of another’s advantages, possessions or luck.
Envy is an emotion we have all had to deal with and for some, this is an ongoing battle. “He hasn’t worked for a damn thing in his life, why am I the one jumping bikes from point A to B”. “She isn’t half as smart as me, how come she’s making more money?” “Yes, he’s my friend and of course I’m happy for him but why not me, does he have two heads?”
It is okay to shelve our feelings of discontent when the concerned party is a dear friend, but most times with strangers or people we barely know, we let these feeling simmer.
Many still question the success our case study has attained. Statements like “He can’t sing” or “He isn’t even talented” are frequently thrown around. This isn’t a press statement by his handlers, so I’ll let you draw your own conclusions as regards him and his music.
Now back to the matter at hand, it is okay to dislike a person’s craft because you do not think they meet your standards or appeal to your individual sensibilities, but to do so because you think they are undeserving of their success is a big NO. The reason is simple, only God determines who is deserving of his blessings. And as unreligious as I am, I still believe in a divine plan.
Early last year, my University had issues and as a result my graduation date was moved forward by seven months. Now those that know me are aware of my issues with education and my impatience with the time it is taking to secure my degree. A fall out of this saw me rant to my dad. I complained about how the guys I got into University with, who had opted for four year courses were already done with their service year and I was still in University. He said several things in a bid to console me and one of them was that everyone’s journey in life is different. Another was and I paraphrase “Momo, yours may have taken a little detour but it doesn’t mean you won’t catch up with or beat these friends you’re comparing yourself to”. He was and still is right.
Often times, I’ve had to talk a few friends out of depressive bouts, brought on by focusing on the successes of others as opposed to minding their own paths. I’ve also had to knock some sense into my head, because even I fall victim to this disease. But whenever I falter, I remember my father’s words and I focus on running my own race. It is human to get annoyed or irritated at another’s success, especially when things aren’t rosy for us. However, the hallmark of a mature mind is to banish these feelings to the trash bin as soon as they surface.
Envy can poison the purest of hearts and ruin the strongest of relationships. Envy breeds hate and hate is death’s first cousin. The minute you let hate in, you my friend have bought your tombstone. I choose to surround myself with people whose successes are inevitable because I know my own success is written in the stars. I choose to surround myself with people whose success stories are just around the corner, because one day when I’m rich, famous and swimming in the big leagues I know I’ll be swimming with friends.
“The only green I wear is on the outside” – Jazz.
P.s. Dear all, I apologize for my long absence but most especially to Tonia “Bims” Soares. She never holds these breaks against me, but gladly accepts my sporadic posts with an eager inbox. I am still on a quest to only write when moved and I hope this was worth the wait.