Coco’s Chronicles: Welcome To The Playa’s Club

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Most of my readers say I am always out to get the boys but the thing is that the boys are always putting themselves in situations where I can’t help but go out to “get them”. Some boys are so full of drama that the stage takes a backseat to all their theatrics. Giselle encountered another one of them recently and before I gist you about this boy, I would like you guys to thank God on my behalf for this last week.

On Saturday evening, the Vet who takes care of our dogs came to check them. He has been taking care of the two dogs since they were both puppies and is also a regular at our house. Well, he came in on Saturday and together with my father went to the dogs’ cage. My youngest brother Tunmise and I were in the house and then we started hearing screams.

The vet doctor was screaming at the top of his voice “Egbami o. Mogbe o!” the noise was followed by my dad’s. He kept shouting at the dog “Jack stop it!” When the screams were getting a little too much, Tunmise and I darted out of the house and went to see what we could do to calm the raging dog.

By the time we got out, my dad had finally got it inside the cage. But the dog had wounded the Vet, tore his clothes and had blood dripping on the man’s palms, thighs and elbow.

During family altar that night, my dad kept saying, “let us thank God he spared that man’s life. Jack was aiming for his private part!” we prayed. My mom who wasn’t around during the attack returned home and we narrated the incident to her. Then my dad added “in fact we thank God for that man’s life, Jack was aiming for his private part!”

Later in the day while we were trying to get another vet to come check the dog my father narrated what happened and again he said “hmm my brother, in fact thank God I was there, Jack was aiming for that man’s private part!”

I don’t know why Jack was aiming for the man’s private part or why my dad kept repeating that. But thank God on my behalf peeps, at least Jack didn’t render a full grown man “dickless”.

One more thing to be grateful for – on Sunday afternoon, I suddenly realized I couldn’t find my vibrator. I knew I had kept it safely somewhere in the house so my mom, who is a regular in my room wouldn’t find it. I had not seen it in weeks and for some reason, I had not bothered.

I went to my room to check where I usually hide my stuff but I couldn’t find it. Then I got scared. What if my mom found that thing before me? I was wondering what I would have told her it is used for! I kept searching for over an hour and I didn’t find it. Then I thought, ok plan B. what do you say this thing is when she finds it? Lipstick! Just another senseless toy! Hair accessory, fancy pen! Anyway, I’m grateful that I found my vibrator somewhere my mom could have found it minutes after she strolled into my room! Whew.

Random: dear funny boys on twitter, please can you stop setting p or asking for follow backs with lame tweets? Just a few days back, a boy said to one of my friends “hey, y you look spiced up…ff me” Just because her handle is @Spicychick? Another “dashed” me his pin via DM and said “hi let’s ping. Here’s my pin. Send me yours” I replied with “excuse me???” and he said “yea…let’s ping…if u prefer twitter messages then let’s go ahead here

Like seriously?

Anyway, let’s discuss Giselle and her dramatic boy. She met this boy somehow (I can’t remember) and they got talking and liked each other. They went on a few dates and she thought he was a good one. They liked being around each other and they even stole a few kisses from time to time, Giselle noticed one thing about the boy though; he was always quick to keep/hide his phone from her. The speed at which he snatched the phone when she was holding it made her wonder.

Giselle went to visit the guy and they talked and laughed and teased each other and then gradually started touching each other. Then the guy paused and quickly told Giselle not to expect too much. She nodded and they continued. Then when she was wet and ready, the guy got up and went to get “delay spray” for delayed ejaculation/cum (pick d one that suits you more). He sprayed it and then unveiled his “Jack Bauer”

Giselle swallowed hard, his dick was tiny! Or like Reanne and I would say, he had a pee pee not a dick! She closed her eyes and thought; well we might as well finish what we started. Then he got in and started humping and grunting and biting her boobs all at the same time. She didn’t have to roll her eyes for long, it was over in a few seconds. Then when he went to clean up, she saw his phone where he’d obviously forgotten to hide it. She said “…since he was always hiding it, I used that opportunity to check it”. Then she found the unexpected, dude had different categories on his bbm and one category had “HER”.

There were ten different girls in the category and Giselle happened to be one of them! And he was saying things he had said and was still saying to her to all of them! Apparently, Mr pee pee is a playa!

One honest question though, why do boys with the smallest reason to always become the biggest playas? Guys?



I’m a totally simple, sweet, funny down to earth girl. Extremely fun and nothing of an introvert. I’m so much into writing, I don’t have enough space left in my heart to love something else. I’m addictive and you’re not likely to let go once you know me. Twitter handle, @tomilola_coco


  1. Coco, i realy need 2 see U. As in, we hv 2 meet… Nd then -should i say- ur concluding note got me like ”seriously? U taught that up also?” lmao! Nd yeah, thank the stars, though, mum wud’ve realy been confusd as to what luks so long and pointy, has the profile 4 vib. bt luks nothing like a phone!! Lovely write up.

  2. Jack kept going for his p part………. Bad dog
    If mum had caut Ў☺ΰ……. A speshal cream container wud be the ryt answer, ☀̤̣̈̇f course, the original has that function
    Giselle discovered too late, just gave herself to a wrong brother, wrong in both ways( if Ў☺ΰ get me drift)

  3. Ur stories are really interesting. Thank God u made/make them up if not most of us would have thought dat u and ur friends are sluts.
    Really really cool tho, keep up the good work.

  4. Daz d problem wt all dis boys dat has no prowess with dier winny tinny sometg,. Empty vessels. Daz y u must “sample”

  5. Linda, I thought it was only me that noticed all her frenz are sluts however, I dont think its such a good writup. im getting bored with the stories of coco and her friends sleeping all over town.

  6. @iyanu,its only a write up.a combination of both elements(fiction and non fiction). Dat doesn’t mean u shuld assassinate her character.. But den,we r only human,we jst av to appreciate and aCcept people for who dey are. We are nt perfect we only strive to be a betta person. I knw coco personally and she aint like dat.

  7. Dear Iyanu, its one thing to insult me, its another thing to add my friends, if U’re bored y are U here? I bet U are a low life slut hiding behind a five letter name. Pls make ds d last tym U’l b stupid on here. I’m not nice 🙂 Good riddance bitch

  8. I don’t mind if they r sluts o, infact I like sluts. I lov dem even sef. Please can I have their pins maybe one can give me a bj one day.

  9. @coco, guys can’t be sluts. We are considerd kings if we sleep about the way u and ur friends do. Its good u know im bored. Do u think any body that has work to do will actually sit and read this crap?

  10. just stumbled on your blog, and gift luuuuuuurvs it, ….lol, my friend calls small pee-pees ampicillin capsules.

  11. @Iyanu, seriously I’d say u r JOBLEsS n a lier. U claim not 2 have time n dat u r bored n u can still drop a reply. U really nid 2 check 2 be sure u aint suffering 4Rm depression.
    @coco is right 2 have called u a Low life.
    Dis column is really nice n takes away all d pain n stress

  12. d dog recognized α good fn and aimed at it! Good doggy! @iyanu,if u really don’t ave anyfn to say,STFU!! And linda didn’t say dey were sluts,she sed thank God she made/make d stories up if not most pple WOULD HAVE THOUGHT she and her friends were sluts! U r bored σяv her articles den skip 2d next 1 instead σяv bad mouthin and assumin nonesense,like u can do any beta *rme*! Nwaiz,kip dem comin Coco! U r doin α great job!

  13. Babe, if u ask moi, ur dogg has been playing with ur Vib, that’s why u were looking for it, lil wonder it went for the guy’s Jack Bauer.

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