360Submission – WOMEN: THE NEW MEN IN RELATIONSHIPS

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Greetings earthlings.

Today, I come to you as a voice of many grieved women out there… Now I’m not “old” per say but I don’t think in my lifetime I’ve ever heard women complain about men this much… EVER. Women today seem to be “taking that bold new step for MANkind”… “to go where no man has gone before”… take the place as a woman in the relationship; trading places.

Now in this piece I’m going to use terms like “Remember”, “Used to”, “Back in the day” as a means of describing the PAST female behavior.

It seems the new way of phrasing “I’m stressed out” for women is “This guy is on my ovaries” no longer is a man complaining, “This girl is on my balls”.  I remember when it was a myth or legend to hear women ask men on dates, women pay for their own dinners on dates (yes it happens) etc.  It’s actually quite a huge reality now. Women seem to be producing more testosterone these days and building up the courage, no longer “dutch” induced, to get what they want from a man.

It’s a number of roles that have been switched, apart from the new career driven woman who is the breadwinner and because of my sheer kindness and spare time of course… I’ll break it down for you:

SEX
Now I think on this topic, I’m quite proud that women have taken the initiative to now want to contribute more in the bedroom than ever before. It’s stiff competition out there for the single ladies and now more than ever women are researching in depth on how to please their man or “prey” in the bedroom, different from the norm of- just be present and learn how to handle that missionary position.  Women these days now take that extra step of not only watching porn as an educational guide but also doing some comprehensive research online about how to please a man. Did you know there are such things as “pressure points” for men? Once you press or focus on these points they go wild? These are steps women are now taking to back up their looks and personality with enhanced sexual skills.  For women now, sex isn’t just a chore that has to take place to keep your man; it’s a very useful tool to secure your place as missus, or a haven he keeps coming back to.  I have to say I am very proud of this new progression because in the past I have heard many a times men complain about how he has to do all the work and how much it would make them happier if the woman they’re with could at least attempt to make an effort in the bedroom, move her waist a little, arc her back a bit more, take charge of the situation… keyword “Take charge”. It’s a whole different sex game out there and some women are READY to play.

 RELATIONSHIPS
Oh my… ok now the dreaded R word, Relationships.
Games… this is the keyword now “Games”. This used to be the term used by men to describe women’s’ actions back in the day, remember when you used to hear questions like “What’s she’s playing at?”, “Who does she think she is?” you know when it used to be about the women in control, using sex as a battering tool and taking advantage of a man, playing him like a ball with her female charm.  Seems men have caught on to such female tactics and turned it against us. Now, from experience, I hear women complain utterly about the games men are playing and how they are the ones who have to take control of their relationships. I think men have caught on to the fact that the ratio of single women to men is relatively high and I guess take that statement more seriously now “There are more fishes in the sea”.  I had a friend tell me, during one of our girls nights out, that women nowadays have to have a CV before they are presented to their boyfriends, parents or even date. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing! Now women have to have that extra “mmmph” to get them ahead of the game. Such things like “Oh she’s a Dr, she has a masters in Economics and finance, works with world bank, she’s a manager with a top bank” etc. are the things that seem to be moving women up the relationship/getting hitched ladder.  All the “She has a lovely personality and is an amazing cook” seem to be second thing mentioned after the curriculum vitae or even the first… either way?  NOW, it matters what you can bring to the table rather than just be a “good woman”.

I honestly feel now like my mother lied to me, I actually called her up and said “Mummy you lied to me, you told me that if I don’t know how to cook a man will never marry me” THAT IS SO NOT THE CASE NOW!  Being able to cook these days seem to be a bonus feature because mainly everywoman getting married is a career woman so even if they were experts in the darn kitchen? Where’s the time to cook the meal?  I know people who learned to cook AFTER they found the man! NOT before.  Also, women have no problem footing the bill these days, I hear men say “Feels good when my lady takes me out”. 

What is going on! Paradigms have shifted!  There’s a glitch in the matrix, forgive me but I don’t genuinely remember a time were I have been on a date and the man took me out and paid, the last dinner date I had? I paid… and the guy seemed fine with it, honestly it worked for me because it seemed like less pressure to give up anything at the end of the date mainly because I was in control, I FELT in control.

That seems to be it now, more women in our generation are the ones taking control and have forgotten how to be spoilt, being taken care of, picked up from your doorstep etc. it doesn’t even seem to be a demand anymore all that’s required is? I just need a man. FULL STOP!  I actually know women these days who go and pick out their own engagement rings or tell men where to go buy the engagement rings; the element of surprise is gone… women KNOW what they want and aren’t scared to go get it. The men’s roles in relationships are slowly dwindling and honestly? I think some are fine with it… LESS pressure apparently.

I personally think its sad, the day we dropped our rights as women because we cant find REAL men who still believe in things like chivalry, respect, consideration, love, catering. I believe its women like Beyonce causing this problem… YES I said it, BEYONCE! To be honest, I laugh at any girl who sings along to “Who run the world? Girls”, “Best thing you never had” and of course “Independent woman”. BEYONCE ISN’T INDEPENDENT! Having your OWN money doesn’t make you independent it makes you lonelier and allows you to be rather comfortable in your loneliness, SIMPLE. “Independent women” without their men can testify to this, that money don’t keep you warm at night it just allows you to buy some very nice expensive silk sheets to aid with the need for warmth.  I’m not saying kill yourself because you don’t have a man… but don’t lie to yourself EVERYONE , and I mean EVERYONE wants to be loved.

WOMEN I URGE you, let your man take back his balls and drop your guard down a bit…. You DESERVE to be taken care of and if who you’re with isn’t fulfilling his position as a man, don’t be upset… it isn’t his fault… he probably has too much estrogen being produced and his balls have shrunk mid way in life OR worse he is a mummy’s boy… they never descended… its not your fault; just find a new MAN.

BREAK UPS
Ah the dreaded B word, I seem to dread a lot of things don’t I – M word, C word *smiles* I digress.
Its ASTOUNDING the amount of break up stories I hear these days. Women are no longer the victims; they seem to be the ones giving that indication they want to date and the ones to even break UP the relationships.
Forgive me but I thought women in my generation would have that feeling of “last leg” and would want to marry as soon as possible, as most women these days think more of the wedding day rather than the marriage, BOY was I wrong.  I’ve heard women breaking up with men using such excuses like “You deserve better than me” “You are too good for me” “I have to explore a bit more”.  I am FREAKING blown away! I say this because women are generally raised and programmed to basically want only one thing in life and that’s… have a husband to love and cater to; NOW its career, security, man and in that order. Any “modern woman” can deny it, but think about it.  I hear women say these days “I can’t get married without money in my account”, “I need a good job before I marry” “I need my own money” and they seem to believe in the “Don’t settle” rule WHICH is fantastic but I feel women these days have grown immense BALLS to say “Yes, I have a man who spoils me but this is not what I want right now in my life… there’s more to life” RATHER than settle for the man and a life of marriage filled with regrets.

There seems to be women these days who want to be cordial after the relationship and still be friends but some men can’t handle it. The modern woman seems to be the ones trying to be civil after the break up but some men are rather emotional about things. If this happens to me, I tend to flatter myself and say maybe I was just the “ish” (self wash) but for many women.  Once a man says “No I don’t want a relationship” next day, they are back on their feet, getting their act together and trying the dating game again… no dulling. Women going back on dates soon as possible, not even trying to waste anytime in mourning like women back in the day.

Women of 2012, I salute you but also remember you are a woman, you are delicate, whether you ugly or you fine, you are a gem and deserve to be happy no matter what. You are God’s creation specifically put on earth to be the companion of a man, a companion who can stand strongly by his side and not be moved by the trials and tribulations of this earth.  Remember woman… you are a woman.

Mimi

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5 comments

  1. Nice piece… I disagree with some parts tho; but great write up all the same. In as much as we have more “independent women” these days, I am afraid, but I think, in the African society, (Nigerian society, to be specific); a great majority of the women still lack what to bring to the table. Pls, no ooffence, I’m nt sayin this from chauvinistic perspective…let’s just look around!

  2. I think a post like this is necessary…not because I agree with all of it, but because it’ll get a discussion going. I guess I’m a modern woman. Once, I knew I was in the wrong relationship and told my mom I was gonna break up with him…she was all “No, let him be the one to do it”. Another elderly family friend was like “You should have several boyfriends, shift your attention from him to the other ones, but don’t be the one to end it” Me: O_o
    I realize that I’m a woman, and with that realization comes taking charge of my destiny. So while I won’t usurp a man’s biological inclination, I also won’t wait around for him to determine my personal happiness. Like you said, we are gems and determine to be happy, and if getting my big girl panties on is what’s necessary for that, by all means, please hand me them granny panties.

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