So I’m going to have to stop apologizing for the infrequency of my posts. Thanks to y’all who won’t let me rest until I post something, “anything” on 360nobs. The rest of y’all will have to pardon me, this is kinda back-dated, was supposed to have released this post ages ago, but you know the story, got caught up in work, blab la bla.. Just try and go with the flow abeg, it’s better than nothing. God bless us!
P.S. I keep doing that “To be continued” shit and then I leave y’all hanging, refusing to complete the story.. Annoying innit? Lmao! All part of the script peeps, xoxo! (Smh! That “xoxo” was down-right gay! SMFH!)
Anyway, here is the story for today, some idiot girl wished me a Happy Valentine’s day in advance………. IN JANUARY!!!
I swore for her father, swore for her mother, swore for her toasters, swore for her future husband, and deleted her from Facebook, 2go, BBM, Twitter, Yahoo Mail, and even the obsolete Hi5! I mean, the New Year kinda started badly for all of us, what with the fuel subsidy removal, economic uncertainty and all (prices of everything shooting up by 100%), so why will one stupid okoro chic “threaten” my very existence and mental well-being with the subtle hint of future material exploitation during an unrecognized pseudo-holiday designed mainly for consummation of lascivious scheming??! F**k her again!
It was made especially worse by the fact that I looked back at 2011 with utmost nostalgia, and she just had to break my sweet train of thought with her Ibo schemes. Well, looked back on December 2011 to be precise. For the very gods favored me most kindly as to grant two “mini-fantasies” of mine….
- To consciously sample my first ever Yoruba
- To ball a lesbian into straightness!
Can I quickly take this time out to bless social media? Facebook has supplied its modest share of free sex, now it seems twitter is taking over as the hotbed for hook-ups.
Anyway, let’s call the subject-matter Lammy. Lammy is cute. Has remarkable pedigree, speaks flawless French from her half-nationality heritage, and has a vibrator she uses every night.
Now, I swear to Zeusluck (the hybrid god consisting of Zeus and Goodluck), I’ve forgotten how it all started. All I remember about the beginning is the fact that in line with my policy on twitter, I returned her follow. Again, I reiterate the fact that I’ve forgotten how it all began, but for convenience-sake, let’s just say we started chatting actively via Direct Message. Before you could say “PDP”, Lammy and I were exchanging the most intimate secrets of our past and present. The progression from acquaintances, to friends, to confidants was swift and perhaps inevitable. I genuinely liked talking with her; I hadn’t ever been more comfortable with a new female, and this all progressed naturally to the point of consummation.
The said consummation happened on the 28th Dec 2011.
After more than two weeks of anticipation, there was finally a lull in the Christmas bustle; a day we marked out to talk little and ‘nack’ much!
… The very gods smiled down on me that day. Our nack-plans were more tentative than certain, dependent entirely on parental presence (or absence as the case may be), and absent they proved fortuitously, as both mom and dad sequentially had conveniently disappeared from the scene… Coast clear!
Lammy was taller than her pictures depicted. Her eyes, hidden behind her glasses were far prettier. A little slimmer than I hoped, and in jeans rather than the short dress or gown I love girls wearing and had hoped she’d oblige me.
The first thirty minutes were VERY awkward. I was almost intimidated into inaction, until Agent Yuzedo took over the situation from the
pussy-ass Uzo, and sidled over to her couch. Five minutes of fleeting body-contact and tense conversation later, the first kiss had been sealed. There was no stopping us after that! It was the most intense case of auto-pilot I had ever experienced. Neither of us was in control yo! I wouldn’t say the foreplay was adequate, I only know that her jeans were soon off, revealing her sexy undies. Those weren’t admired for long enough before they were thrown aside, revealing a clean-shaved, already wet p***y. Need I mention I had stripped to my boxer-shorts by then?
My throbbing pipe got the now-cliché deference and admiration that I am still trying to grow accustomed to, I mean, I agree I have a long-ass lamba, but sometimes you just wonder whether girls feel the need to just boost our egos with the effusive adoration and are smirking on the inside.
I resumed the foreplay, worshipping her female form with my tongue and lips, my shaft bobbing and nodding in-between her thighs but just outside her hole. That changed soon enough as I felt it suctioned in by a very eager and demanding nectar-hole.
…….. It. was. WONDERFUL.
The tightness, the texture, the moistness all combined to make it feel like heaven. The fact that she was meeting my every thrust with passion, returning each stroke with gusto….
SMH! ……………… Ladies, gentlemen, I err , I came too soon! X_x
*** TO BE CONTINUED***
A sex researcher called one of his participants in a recent survey to check on a discrepancy.
“Sir, in response to the question of frequency of intercourse” the researcher said, “you answered ‘twice weekly.’ Your wife, on the other hand, said ‘several times per night.’ How could this be correct?”
“That’s right,” the man said, “and that’s the way its going to stay until the house is paid off!”