Another month end, another guest. Black Pearl is a friend who recognised me from a flight she was on last year – coincidentally, on a Friday just after reading one of my posts.
She writes too and runs a blog of her own. You can find more Black Pearl at http://pearlsofbp.wordpress.
I was 12 when I first saw him. As a short, skinny and super-young girl in a military school, my idea of self preservation demanded that I keep my head low and mind my own business and that definitely didn’t include fraternizing with one of the school’s bad boys. However, this instance would very soon be out of my hand. I was in SS1 at the time and my best friend had just transferred to my school. She was in SS2, was more jovial and more developed (physically) than I was and therefore made friends more easily (at least that was my excuse for my being so shy back then). At that time, she was dating his classmate and friend and that’s how we met.
I guess the guy wanted to show off his new girl to his friend, and I had gone to her class during break to chat as usual. She sat by the window, and since most of the glass in the window were already broken, I didn’t have to enter her class to talk to her, I just stood by the window and we would gist. I was bouncing to my usual spot by her window when I noticed it occupied by two tall dudes. They were talking to her, I didn’t know whether to proceed or retreat. While I was deliberating, she saw me and called me to come over. She introduced me to both of them and I remember my first thought about him was he looks rough and he would most likely be part of the people who would punish me.
I mumbled a greeting and since she was too busy flirting with her boo, I was stuck twidling my thumbs and staring at the floor.
I don’t remember our first conversation or our second or our third. All I do remember is that we became friends; a tiny 12year old SS1 girl who looked more like she belonged in JS2 and a 17 year old bad boy of the school. It was an unlikely and inexplicable friendship but it was a friendship nonetheless.
Everyone began to wonder what was going on. His friends asked him what he was doing with that little girl, my friends asked me exactly how I snagged that guy, and we kept telling everyone it was a friendship. I guess very few people believed us because there were three instances of me being punished by prefects for the most ridiculous reasons and it would be whispered back to me by my friends that it was because I was taking away the prefect’s man that I was punished and not because of whatever reason they actually gave. I never told him about this because I didn’t want to cause more trouble with these girls and I was too embarrassed that he would think I did like him (which at this point I did!) and somehow, everything would fall back on me.
Four months after I met him, I had to leave him, and the school, and relocate to the U.S. I didn’t have any way of contacting him and by then I had admitted to my best friend, the same one who introduced us, that I had a crush on him. I asked her to tell him goodbye for me and explain what happened and why I had to go in such a hurry.
I thought of him many times over the years, but what could I do? I had no way of contacting him so I just let things go.
On Jan 1, 2006, right after I returned from church, I got a phone call from a strange phone number. The person wished me happy new year and played around for a while but it definitely was him! He had relocated to the U.S as well and got my number from that same friend of mine. It was the best new year surprise I could ever had asked for and we started talking and catching up. By May, we were dating and that continued on and off for close to 5 years. It was a relatively long distance relationship as we were not in the same state, but we tried to see whenever we could.
He was always sure of what he wanted, Me, and I was always sure of what I wanted … Well in a way. I wanted a boyfriend that I could be around and it drove me crazy we didn’t see as much as I would have wanted. In the space of 5 years, we broke up 3 times and even when we were together, I fell for other people twice. Does that mean I don’t care about him? No. I don’t feel that heat anymore. There’s no gushy pool in my stomach when he is around. He is my best friend and we still talk and joke around a lot. He still says he’s going to be the one to marry me, and my friend (same from high school) agrees with him. In fact, she keeps chronicling everything that happens between us, saying it would be a great fodder for her speech at our wedding. I usually smile and say nothing. Without the passion, I don’t think that’s going to happen. Friendship is all well and good, but it is not enough to base on forever without passion included … at least that’s how I feel!
They say fire dies and passion dims, but friendship will see you through old and grey days. I believe them, but my heart wants passion and fire first and we can talk about old and grey when we are old and grey.