First things first! Happy New Year peoples. 2011 is finally over, such a twat; let’s pray 2012 brings more chaos, anarchy and a new dispensation. Anyways happy you all made it.
Well, I don’t want to have to sound all grumpy because it’s a new year and a chance to redeem our porous image of the year gone by but I can’t help myself. If you’re wondering what I’m on about again I’ll be with you in a few, but if you’re new to my article, I would like you to exercise some patience, go back and read through a bit of my babble and catch a glimpse of why I am N.O.T (real name by the way).
I have reached the point where my bags are almost packed and I am about to migrate forever to Asia, being Nigerian has taken its toll. I’ll get straight to the point. So a couple of days ago, I was being introduced to this dude and I go hi I’m N.O.T and you are, to my uttermost disgust he replies you can call me Engr. Yomi. Now this I hear some of you saying isn’t strange, well it wouldn’t be in Nigeria, now would it?
We are a strange and dare I say complex race, I have been on this earth awhile, I was around when the great Chuck Norris was single-handedly rescuing P.O.Ws from Vietnam, I was around when M.K.O stood for Money, “kudi”, “owo”. And all during this era the only titles I was accustomed with were those of Doctor, Professor and Mister.
Fast-forward a couple of decades and all hell has broken loose; today you have every Tom, Dick and even Harriet with a title. Architects are no longer Misters but now Arch., Civil, Mechanical, Petrochemical; all available disciplines in the field of engineering now carry the title Engr., Pharmacist actually went to the point of having an injunction in their favour to allow the title of Pharm. The most bizarre is the accountants, still sends shivers down my spine.
It is absolutely ridiculous, I don’t know when this trend was started but it’s one I don’t understand, because even Yale, Harvard and M.I.T graduates fall prey to this fiasco, frankly speaking it is appalling. I love being a mister, when I was young I always dreamt that one day I would be a mister, now that I am of age I do not need any other title to indicate my significance to the universe. I am N.O.T, I am proud of it and would take a million dollars to give out my difficultly earned title (I am that cheap).
If you’re still amazed, please don’t be, the funniest part of this farce hasn’t even been shared, everybody wants, needs, has to be somebody, what happened to a good name, a good reputation, an outstanding character, what happened to the numerous misters of the old days. What is wrong in being a Mr. Tony Blair or a Mr. Ecclestone or a Mrs. Hilary Clinton? Last time I checked misters were doing alright with no imbued, over inflated title. I haven’t noticed this trend amongst my other African peers, so it makes me wonder, what happened to the water supply in Nigeria? This incident pre-dates the start of boko-haram so we can safely rule them out, so I have no clue has to who got to the water to cause such a drastic mess. I can only speculate and analyze on how this came to effect.
My fellow Nigerians, it is with utmost respect (you wish) that I make this plea, if you are badly in need of a prefix before your name, it’s not that hard, you’ve got loads of options, for instance you could enrol for 6yrs + of medical school, upon graduation you’re a D-R guaranteed for life, non-refundable, better still read Yoruba/Ibo/Hausa education to the level of a PhD and you’re set for life. If you’re a no-shoe wearing nit-wit you can sign up for the marines or navy seal. You’re guaranteed a title filled career if you can stick it. Otherwise sacrifice a lamb and some white loin cloth and bag yourself a chieftaincy even the white folks recognize the monarchy.
You’ve got so many options available, so many instead of the norm today of being construed as a narcissistic, egotistical, and ridiculous twats. Kindly explore all available options first and stop being foolish. Thank you very much.
(If you think I’m harsh think of Jonaa and his scapegoat. My days of being political correct are over)