360SUBMISSION: FOR MY ‘BALENTINE’

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So these three men, Chris Attoh, Lynxxx and Benjamin Joseph cover the February (Valentine’s) edition of Genevieve Magazine, yelz ke, see as dem carry rose, carry champagne come put red bow tie complete am. You know February don come, the month of love abi? Or ya be one of those who are bitter about love and Valentine’s day?.  Speaking of bitter, dat eez how I open my twirra some dais ago and I saw the most bitter comment on Valentine’s ever, *chaiiiiii eet wuz doing my body rikpo*, the person say

Vals is cancelled this year. Mathematical proof: 14-02-12=0

In my mind I say *clap for ya seff, clappp!!!*, you don know math now you will use it toh come promote ya bitterness on top twirra.  My ladies and gentlemens February is the month of love and it is doz who don’t have love that will try and spoil it for others. *Abi no be so?*.  For real though, when I saw that tweet, I was annoyed at first but when I thought deep into it, I blamed the person less.  You know why, because nowadays the world is turning into something else.

People have turned love into a joke, Hollywood started it with their two-day marriages and surprisingly and disappointingly, Nigerians want to do follow follow and join especially some of our celebrities and you know say our Naija people no like to dey carry last, we musto over do.  There are three categories o

  • Those women who at over 35 have refuse toh find husband. Go born pikin naaaaaa, Beyonce sef know say she musto not carry last.
  • Those men who wii be carrying little gehs and have refuse toh settle down. Una mama no dey call una dey ask for granshaild?
  • And those who haf attempted to marry but have divorced even before the wedding don reach *una dey wash E! too mushhh*

*wait naaa, I will give you example, dem no call me tatafoo for notin, abi una forget say na 360nobs una dey?*

Example 1

How many of you as you’re reading dis will tell me you don’t know who she is? *raise up ya hand make I see naa*. Well her name is Rita Dominic, see as she be like foreign winsh, but she nnor gree marry. Sorry oh Rita, I love you and all but ya womb get expiry date oh *chigurl voice*. There are many others like awa beloved Rita oh, old women wey no wan marry, like Bimbo Akintola, Genevieve Nnaji, Uche Jumbo and cohorts. Make una find romeo oh. Moving on…

Example 2

*Clears throat*… I nor go talk too much *abi you wan make me too born pikin for am*. Anyway this is oga 2face, we know am na, abi you wan lie ni. I nor go talk too much because I know say as you see the picture una brain don go farrrrr… I no say una smart* hehehe *wink*.  Shaaaa dis one situation good, him don hatch like 1000 pikin so him mama no go fit complain. But still, gan MARRY!!!!! He is not alone oh, there is Jim Iyke, D’banj, Peter Okoye and cohorts. Please make una go find woman, stop living yellow chilli life!

Example 3

This couple was well respected *so I believe sha*, but broda had to go and spoil eett! I understand that we don’t know what goes on inside their marriages but that’s why it is called MARRIAGE, commitment and the guts to be able to endure your partner’s faults and trust me there is a certain stage in life when such skills are to be developed.  Broda here don dey get grey here, if him resemble him papa go pack wife inside house like sardine we go understand, but being a loner is a no-no. There are worse cases sef, Toni Payne and 9ice *the toni geh ehn???, lemme not start with her*, Frank Edoho and Katherine and cohorts. Make una give yasef brain, dis place no be Hollywood!! Divorce cannot be the in thing!

All the people above (dose who neva fain fiancé and fiancée), will be having no Valentine’s or fake Valentine’s day this year. Most of them are prolly like dat person on twirra, hating on love for no genuine reason.  Anyway sha, for those of us who are in love and have Juliet and Romeo, I haf some events wey dey happen today that our luf loving people have put in place to spice up a day as special as today.  You know how we dey roll.

LOVER’S ROCK is an exquisite evening set aside for couples on Valentine’s day, there will be performances from Chidinma, Ese Peters and the sensational Ms Saeon, rib cracking Comedy provided by Lolo1, Igos, Nedu and Roy of Wazobia FM, 3 course meal, cocktails and champagne.

Free Red Roses & Souvenirs for all the Ladies.

Tickets on sale now Singles N25,000, Couples N50,000.

Date: February 14th 2012 (TODAY)

Venue: DEUCES 19a Adetokunbo Ademola Street, VI Lagos.

Time: 7pm prompt,

Call 08033229510 , 014543977 or 08097773693

Tickets are available @ Deuces lounge, Hedges and Smith, Admiralty Way, Lekki, Aura Bar and Lounge.

For those of you, who are in obodo oyibo for Manchester, we didn’t forget you, this is an exclusive night of humour and good music.

End Date: February 14, 2012

Time: 6pm

Location: Birdcage, Withy Grove, M4 3AQ Manchester, UK.

Phone: 02080531219

Email: help@cokobar.com

For those of you who have been commiting to weistitude in ya love life and have been to busy and caught up with love, here is a way to rekindle those special feelings. Don’t carry last oh!

 

Start Date : February 14, 2012

Time: 5.30 pm to 9.00 pm

Location: Landmark Village, Oniru, VI, Lagos

Info: info@solutionmi.com

Ishya geh tatafooo, I will bring una more info as I get them okay?…I love y’all…see ya next week

*Chop kilz*

 

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360Admin

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