Life is a bitch then u get married to one, now that’s an irony, and with the state of marriage in today’s universe it’s no surprise. Like the chief Elder Fela Kuti said “na craze world be that” and what can I say but fold my arms, bow my head a bit and nod in agreement, we do live in a mad world.
Its doomsday all around what with depressed economies, increasing fuel prices, and just that constant state of brewing anarchy and with all these on goings how do we go about helping matters we add to the impending reckoning by being flippant and losing our heads completely.
What in heaven’s name am I on about again? I’ll tell you in a second, I know it’s not a strange occurrence and it’s not new but the alarming rate at which it goes on is becoming more of a norm, and I’m not here to preach or stand above all and condemn the world. Simply put, I am on about marriage and divorce. The new trend
Marriage like most of us know is an age old tradition, where Master Anipole and Miss Robinson come together as one, one representing a spiritual thing not for the philistine mind. Now that said if in the true sense of it two people become one or act as a team which means agreeing to always agree, then I don’t see why divorce should even be a dictionary word but sadly the world is flawed and things are never as they’re meant to be.
The truth is even as an individual you sometimes disagree with yourself, you take time to decide the next move, what party you should attend, what you should get someone as a gift and so on and on, same applies when you become one, only difference is you get to physically see the other you.
I am by no means an expert on relationships or marriage but since I can I will share my two cents, the major reason for divorce today or even marriage in the first instance is poor decision, what do I mean, most people get married for the wrong reasons, it’s that simple, we listen to society and are pressured into making wrong choices, it happens in every other area of life. I believe getting married should be a well thought-out, slept on, tampered and tinkered with decision, not one that is made on a whim.
First and foremost I believe in love (whatever that is) but love in itself is not enough, this has been proven time without number, ill humour you, most of us have or had parents that loved us to death, or siblings that thought the world of us, but those same people got you upset, angry, even made you say some unsightly things towards them, right? Well if that happened and you still had the heart to forgive them then you’re on the right path, because marriage with the one you love is really the same.
Now we’re not in a Jackie Collins novel or a Disney fairy-tale, we live in the real world where shit always goes wrong, so therefore we don’t always get to marry our missing rib or soul mate, we sometimes make decisions based on time ,impatience, fear and permit me to say “follow-follow”. This is alright but after making those decisions we should cultivate the habit to take responsibility for such errors or better still avoid such errors entirely.
The truth is once you lay your bed no one is going to lie in it with you so after that fairy-tale wedding to Mr. snuffleupagus, who you really couldn’t stand but since he had a tower of cash, and you were going on 35 you decided to settle, my dear you had better settle in and enjoy the whirlwind, cause the truth is marriage isn’t a paid for vacation.
For instance, I wanted to be a drug dealing, skateboard spinning, tattooed m****fucker(excuse my Swahili) but my mom promised to disown me, my siblings thought I had demons and my friends called me Pablo so I decided against it, now I have bills, taxes and a portfolio to show for it. Am I happy today? I guess not really, but the bed has been laid so all I can do is make the sheet look pretty.
So for all you out there, shopping for brides/grooms like an item for the mantelpiece, it’s a dicey affair, the truth is this item is for keeps, gets on your nerves quite easily, will make you cry and in most circumstances non-refundable, and all the returns being made illegally will one day be accounted for. You have been warned. HELLven is real!