Coco’s Chronicles: Ménage à trois of a Strange Kind …Married Man, wife and I

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I am not into married men. I mean I’m into men of all ages…okay scratch that. Not all ages. 31 and above is a no go area. I love men younger than 30 – Unmarried, non committed men.

I stay out of married men’s way as much as I can and luckily for me they hardly come my way. I’m quite small in size, a size 6 and most people do not believe I’m 23 already, so I do not expect to catch any married man’s fancy. Recently, Enitan and I were out and a married man stopped and offered a ride and his complimentary card. We turned both down and he kept looking at me like he was trying to remove my clothes with his eyes but of course he was jonzing! I run away from this group of men but I almost got into trouble with one recently.

I was late for work and by the time I got to the junction of my house, there was an overwhelming crowd waiting to get out of the area too. I am not good at rushing or pushing in order to get a bus/bike/anything. Not that I form ajebutter but I just don’t know how to do it. So, I was at the junction for thirty minutes.

Because my salary means a lot to me, I decided to look for a way to get out of the place. I couldn’t rush/push and I hated lifts so I started walking. I had not made it half way when I got freaking tired, then he parked beside me.

Let me drop you off pretty girl.

Normally, my response would be; eye rolling, hissing, catwalking and getting my own means of transportation. But I knew if I didn’t want to jonz this morning, all of those things won’t get me anywhere. So I tried to smile and said “thank you” and then hopped into the car not even considering that he might be a gbomo gbomo.

I got in and this man started asking for my name and number and age and place of work all at the same time. And then before I could say anything he’d started telling me about his life, wife, kids and the rest of his life history I couldn’t be bothered about.

I rolled my eyes and concentrated on the journey, wishing there was a remote control to mute the man and fastforward the journey. Since there was no remote for this particular moment, I decided to bear it. Someone else seemed to own a remote control though.

A car suddenly cut us off and screeched to a halt in front of us. A woman got down, started raining curses and insisted for us to pull over. The man pulled over and just before I could blink, the woman was already at my side of the car and was trying to force the door open.

Boy was I scared!

I was lost and just kept looking from Mr man to this hysterical Mrs. “Open it o! Oloshi!!!” She kept screaming and pounding her thick fists on the door. Then it dawned on me, this was Mr man’s Mrs. Her husband started begging, he insisted nothing had happened yet.

Oin? Nothing had happened Yet? The man even thought something was going to happen??? Well, the most important thing was for me to get out of this soap opera. The woman was having none of her husband’s story, apparently, all she wanted to do was to eat me up. She headed for the other side of the car when I wouldn’t open up.

Sensing she wanted to come pull me from there, I waited for her to reach the booth area and then opened the door and ran as fast as I could. A small crowd had gathered to watch this superstory. She tried chasing me but her husband pulled her back.

Please don’t ask me what happened to both of them, you do not expect me to know and still be alive, do you?

I have vowed though, even when there’s no hope of getting any form of transportation, I’ll rather go back home than star in a crazy soap opera by the side of the road.

Coco

Coco

I’m a totally simple, sweet, funny down to earth girl. Extremely fun and nothing of an introvert. I’m so much into writing, I don’t have enough space left in my heart to love something else. I’m addictive and you’re not likely to let go once you know me. Twitter handle, @tomilola_coco

29 comments

  1. Gosh! That’s so embarrassing! Trust onlookers to think that the Mrs had caught him with his longtime lover! Loool! You ran?!?! That’s gangster. Did u remove ur shoes?

    U mite just have paid for his actual ‘lover’s’ sin

  2. I laughed so hard I woke my nephew up from sleep… I can just imagine wat could have happened if d mrs had gotten hold of u….lwkmd

  3. Dear she says, I don’t care about what U think or what U’ve got to say. Get a life, ride a dick (cos I’m sure dts what U do for a living) and pls do me this favour, get hit by a truck. Thanks. 🙂 NB: I’m sure Nobs feels d same way abt U

  4. @ Story: i so fucking died!!! Lmaooooo! (y)
    @ Brewing Cat-fight between Coco & She Says: PLEASE make it a NAKED cat-fight abeg **Now microwaving popcorn and pulling out my favorite cherry-flavored coke** 😀

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