Read previous part of University days here.
“If you don’t get it right at first, try, try again”– unknown origin
“Nothing good comes easy” -unknown origin as well
Things had gone from bad to worse, with regards to Stanley and Idy; and I had become an outcast to the both of them. I made up my mind to make things right and get myself back in their good books.
I started checking up on Stanley regularly regardless of his attitude and coldness towards me. I accepted everything in good fate. Tried my best possible to make him know I was truly sorry. I equally made it clear to him that the feelings I had for Idy were real and above all, helped him patch things up with Uju, as she had called off whatever they had going on when she found out about Idy. Things were almost back to normal. I knew getting Idy wasn’t going to be a walk in the park, so i decided to remove all “possible” obstacles. I did that by getting my act together. No more late nights with chicks. I got back on track academically, sent her text messages now and again, reminding her that I truly cared about her and that I had meant all I said the day I tried kissing her.
After about one week of texting with no replies whatsoever to at least encourage a brother, I decided to test the waters and call, hoping for divine favor for work wonders on my behalf. At two rings, she picked and we talked like nothing weird had happened between us – just like dem good ol’ days. As a sharp guy, I knew going in for the kill would only ruffle up her feathers unnecessarily, so I maintained things for a while on that level.
Days passed and I didn’t want to be in “the zone”. The zone every “chiker” dreads, being “the friend”. Very easy to get in and remain there forever. The words of my much-respected cousin during our last heart-to-heart session together the previous year had been seared into my brain forever, “If you like a girl and you want her to be your chick, try and avoid entering the friend zone, never be her “bestie”. Listen to her, be nice and respectful, just avoid being in the friend zone!
Name one person you know that progressed from the friend zone to “the man in charge of every-every”, anyone come to mind? Maybe even two? Good! Now do the math and count the number of guys that stayed there forever!! I’m sure you think this is a bunch of crap, John. “I’m great with girls who don’t want to date me. In fact, she’s ma best friend. Stick that in your ear, cuz!”– he mimicked me.
Then he continued “Maybe so John, but there’s a quick way to determine if you’re really her friend or if you want something more. Do you want to kiss her? If she turned to you one night after a “friendly” date and asked you to plant one on her, would you do it? If you would, it means you want something else from the relationship and that will make it hard for you to be a good friend. If she offers you friendship instead of dating, gently and respectfully decline. Tell her that she deserves a loyal, stable friend and that you can’t be “that” for her! You have to be a man John. Don’t be a loser or else you’ll lose her!”
The words kept echoing in my head whenever I ended a “friendly” call with her. I eventually summoned the courage to bring up the “kissing-moment” and the things I said that day and without any warning whatsoever, all niceness from her stopped. She told me to get my act together and sort things out properly with Joan. This was weird as I knew all clandestine activities were things of the past; besides that, Joan and I never happened as we were just friends and we weren’t even in contact like before, so I figured it was going to be as easy, plain and simple as I planned it to be.
Some days afterwards, ran into Idy, Joan and a friend (whom I later found out was called Jennifer). I figured it was a divine opportunity to show my love and desire to be with Idy by telling Joan how I felt about her best friend right there and then. However, things didn’t go as planned as Joan got a call from one of her ‘chikers’ while with me and excused herself. This spelled doom for me as I didn’t get the chance to tell her I had asked Idy out. I figured she’ll get the idea automatically the more she saw me hanging out with Idy.
Seeing that the coast was seemingly clear, I immediately went to Idy and told her I had sorted things out and that there was no bad-blood or “beef” from Joan’s end. Little did I know that Joan had plans of her own.
Not long after my encounter with the 3 girls, I noticed Idy started giving flimsy excuses not to hang out with me. At first, I figured she was busy with school work so I let it slide. After a while of incessantly unnecessary excuses, I confronted her. I realized there and then, that I was nowhere close to being out of the woods. She said she told Joan about my advances and Joan claimed I had asked her out too and that she (Joan) was sure that I was trying to “play” both of them. I tried to explain my innocence and how she had gotten things mixed up but it was impossible to get her to listen to me as she had equally done a little digging about my past from girls in higher levels who were more than eager to tell her about my amorous activities as well as adding things I never did. I was the casanova she was advised never to take seriously.
My seemingly perfect world was turning upside down really fast, as Stanley was back but our friendship was not like before; Idy, the girl I cared about didn’t trust me or believe any word I uttered. As if that wasn’t bad enough, she turned into something else overnight, started avoiding me, ignoring my calls and even went as far as deleting me from her “bbm”. All attempts to get 5 minutes alone with her yielded no outcome. At a point I gave up hope and tried to go back to my old ways and call or hang out with other girls. Things weren’t rosy for me there either, Icouldn’t live up to expectation or be the kind of person people had known me to be way back as I kept thinking of Idy no matter who I was with. It was a hapless situation, truly saddening, frustrating and completely depressing- pushing me over the thin wall of sanity. You know when they say a guy is a shadow of what he used to be? Those words explained my condition perfectly! Paranoia became my middle name as I started monitoring (Please note “NOT stalking”) her and noting every guy she hung out with. During this period, I neither called nor sent text messages.
It was my final week in school before the Christmas break and I still couldn’t get her off my mind, so I called her, telling her to make out time to see me before I traveled home. Days passed and I didn’t hear from her. She eventually made out time for me on the Saturday morning I was to travel home.
Things were awkward, as my “millions of words”-expressing my heart-felt feelings yielded mono-syllabic straight-faced answers. All attempts to get her to lighten up her mood yielded diddly-shit. Talking about random things unrelated to my feelings for her did the magic and softened her a little bit. I immediately slid in my desire to kiss her again but this time I requested rather than ‘jumping’ her like I almost did the last time.
“….please please please…. I can’t kiss you, John, even though you asked me like a gentleman rather than forcing yourself on me this time. Don’t get it twisted, its not like I don’t know you didn’t ask Joan out. I did a little investigation of my own and I realized she lied against you. I don’t hate you, neither have I been oblivious to your transformation from bad boy to not-so bad recently. The truth is, I just can’t kiss you. I have a boyfriend I love with all of my heart, we’ve been dating for 2 years now and uhm…. The way I see it, i don’t see us breaking up anytime soon. The both of us can only be friends, John, nothing more. If you can’t handle that then… uhm… I’m sorry!”
I knew there was no way I could back out at that point and let her go. Call me insane, call me stupid. I knew what I wanted and knew I couldn’t settle for the friend zone. I mean so far, I had gone through enough to be the ideal guy for her.
[To be continued]
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