Our boy, Wande Coal, has been missing from the scene. He just, more or less, upped and vanished into thin air. Some of us haven’t eaten or slept since he left. We’d just stay awake, counting the stars in the sky, crying, waiting for one single from WC. Heck, half a single. We can’t breathe. We just want Wande back. Wande, we are sorry for laughing at your phallus you in that picture. To even be honest, we didn’t laugh at you, we were laughing WITH you. Either ways, we are sorry.
Fast forward to Tuesday, 5th December, a wonderful announcement from Don Jazzy on twitter… WANDE COAL IS DROPPING NEW SINGLES! NOT HALF LIKE WE BEGGED FOR, NOT 1, BUT 3! THREE!!!! Breathing restored. Excuse me while I go wipe this jizz off. Ok, I’m back. ORGASMIC, I TELL YOU!
Now, to the music. Hold up, lemme post a picture showing how many times I’ve played these songs till date. There!
STOP!!! At this point, I probably should say that if you’re looking for a proper unprejudiced critique of these songs, you’re in the wrong place. Close the page now. Go to another blog and start a fight. Just leave! Are they gone? Good! My fellow stans fans, let’s begin.
BEEN LONG YOU SAW ME
This here is the “I’m back, b*****s” track. Goes to show Mr Wande stayed away intentionally. *shaking fist vigorously* My fren, don’t try that again! Who’s your mate here that wee just be looking for you? Nonsense and ingredient”.
He even comes off cocky on the chorus with “…ori lo dun to yi…” like “Yeah, yeah, I’ve been away, bitches, but I’m back and y’all WILL luv my music”. *sigh* but he was right. WE LUV IT!!! Don Jazzy brought some comedic lyrics here too. Gotta luv ‘em!
Wande Coal - Been So Long You Saw Me (5.2 MiB, 5,258 hits)
Here Wande does some weird ass things. He uses the nude picture debacle in the verses, turns it to a dance/club song in the chorus AND successfully gets us to feel bad for him and hate the girls people who leaked the pictures.
*side note to the “people”* Olorun a ba yin soro. How could you do that to our Wande??? What did he do wrong to you? Ehn? WHAT??? Olorun a ba yin wi! He also manages to tell us that he does strong things with his “thing”.
Ok then, Mr. Coal, go on witchya bad self! *Oya, get back to the groove o*
Wande Coal - Go Low (5.0 MiB, 5,375 hits)
My favorite of the three (this one to me’s like a 10.5 out of 10 while the other 2 both score a 10 out of 10. Sorry, you can’t bite me.) and the only one that’s produced by Jay Sleek. I’m sure we all agree that Jay Sleek has become a force to reckon with as regards music making, with the music he’s done for 2face, Wiz etc but this is a WC appreciation post so let’s not deviate. Apart from the fact that it’s a sultry love song, it just has some extra substance to it.
Don’t even get me started on Wande’s voice on this track. *SWOOOOOOOOON* Lemme quote my favorite lines ” ….Out of all the girls I know, omo, u dey burst my thinking, sho mo something like sticky icky and you got a body like Nicki and i’m picky (I pick you)…” Still swooning.
Wande Coal - Private Trips (5.1 MiB, 81,220 hits)
I don’t know about y’all but i’m sooooo ready for Wande Coal’s sophomore CD. The tickling he’s given us with these 3 songs is off the richter!!! I cannot even tell you how I felt when I heard him on Wizkid‘s “For Me“. It goes without saying, that that’s my favorite song off of “Superstar” (Yeah, it’s that bias talking again. Deal with it!)
To end this, I’m starting a “We want a Wande Coal album” campaign. Who’s joining?
FOOTNOTE: The above post is strictly the writer’s opinion. It’s been said that she has an unusually wide butthole. This explains why she has so many opinions. Deal with it Please bear with her.