Coco’s Chronicles: In Love With The Toilet Seat

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“I told you I don’t want to be held” I rolled my eyes and added “we’ve been through this a million and one times, why do this now?”

“Are you listening to me at all???”

I stood up angrily at that point and stomped into the bathroom.

He kept banging the door and begging me to come out. I was too angry and I knew it would be better for both of us if I remained in there. How did I end up angry in a bathroom, sitting on the toilet seat and pinging my girls, updating them!

Well, here it is…

I had known Bola for about three years and we even had history because at some point, we were “running things“. He’s a yahoo boy who never really makes money and even when he does make money, he never spends it on girls. A stingy, self conceited yahoo boy.

Since I’m not a girl driven by money/material things, I never asked him for money. I was “doing him” at the time because it felt good. And when I stopped feeling good, I stopped doing him.

We gradually stopped talking and I couldn’t be bothered. Recently, he found me on twitter and we followed each other. He asked for my pin and I thought why not?

We got talking and I wasn’t too friendly at first. He noticed I was reluctant to be friends with him and he claimed he’d changed, he was now a good person, in fact he could go out of his way for the other person.

He asked us to see, spend a little time together and I would be convinced he’d changed. Again I thought why not? But I rang it in his ears nothing was going to happen. He promised nothing was going to happen but because I want convinced and because I’d experienced a lot of “disturbances” when I hangout with some male friends I kept hammering for two whole months that nothing was ever going to happen.

Stop it already” he said “what else do you want me to say? I swear all we’ll do is talk“. I finally stopped talking about it and decided to go see him last week.

Because I had things to do earlier in the day and because he had to travel the next day, we agreed on a sleepover. Before we moved to his place, I noticed he was all over the place and was really full of energy. Suspecting he might have had too much to drink, I asked him.

He denied it and laughed adding “I said I’m not like before dear. I have changed!“. Well, I thought if he had said it a million and one times, I might as well stop pestering him.

Night came, he went to bed almost as soon as we got to his place. I slept almost immediately too. During the night, I suddenly felt something crawling up my body. I jumped up and nearly let out a scream. It took a while before I realised it was Bola touching me! I told him to stop and he said he was cold and had to hold me to be warm.

Jeez! What were u holding when I wasn’t here?” I asked. “It’s never been this cold” he answered. And that was how I battled up until the time I stomped into the bathroom

I spent the remainder of my night in the bathroom and the next day, Bola said to me “I’m sorry I won’t be offering you cab money. U demonstrated free will during the night and I might as well…

I didn’t let him finish. I packed my things and told him “You’re too screwed up to change!” With that, I left the room and took him off my phone. Good riddance to lowlife yahoo boy!!!

PS: I’m sorry for running off without an article for weeks. It won’t repeat itself 😀



I’m a totally simple, sweet, funny down to earth girl. Extremely fun and nothing of an introvert. I’m so much into writing, I don’t have enough space left in my heart to love something else. I’m addictive and you’re not likely to let go once you know me. Twitter handle, @tomilola_coco


  1. Loooool! @ ” U demonstrated free will during the night…” – who says that?

    Next time you stay away this long, you’ll read your articles yourself.. #NoseGrowingLonger).. :0

  2. I assume that you sef na sharp babe… you hold vex money, ba?!
    PS: Vex Money na In-case-of-emergency money..
    Because going on such journey without that kain money……you can’t be on a longer thing!
    A leopard can never change its spots..mchew

  3. You’re Evil Coco….how can you leave a nigga high and dry like that,Giving a nigga blue-balls and the abandonment thereof should be punishable by Law….this is my View

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