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Here’s my story even though I know it will be almost impossible for you to believe me. I missed you all.

We agreed to move things forward to the present and once in a while go back to the past.

So just to bring you all to what’s happening.

It’s been months since Zoba and I agreed to go into a NO-SEX-until-marriage relationship. The truth is, I agreed to a no-sex relationship because I figured it would help me prepare for marriage. I won’t even try to lie, it was a hard decision for me. The most difficult part was when she asked me if I would prefer to include anything that will make me happy. The truth is that, I wanted to say ‘Can I at least get a Blow Job once in a while?’ but I figured it may spoil my “husband to be” figure.

I know some of you may not understand this but the truth is, there are very few men that actually ask their wives for a blow job. I’ve not been married before but I’ve gotten more blow jobs from chics on my borry (not booty or buddy …borry) call-list than the people I have dated.

On a more serious note, I’ll like to know if you agree or disagree with me. I think some men don’t want to see the mother of their children going up and down on their member. I really wanted to include Blow job on the list but “unwife-like” images kept flooding my mind.

Image 1: I imagined Zoba with her mouth wrapped around lil Nobs and her eyes looking up to me searching for reaction. You know the way she will be trying to concentrate on what she’s doing and at the same time looking at me. I saw my eyes looking at her with my eyes half closed. I had to quickly force the image off my mind.

Image 2: The second image had me trying to move her weave to one side to get a clearer picture of her face. I think this serves two purposes – 1 is to get her hair out of her route to work and 2 is to give you a clearer picture of what’s going on. Well, for those that love to watch or can keep their eyes open during the act.

Just because I didn’t want to spoil a good thing or come off as someone who can not do without sex, I told her that I would be okay with just being there for her and would be eager to satisfy her when necessary .

However, she said it was okay to have friends and flirt once in a while as long as it won’t lead to something that I would regret. She said it would be wicked of her to ask me not to make new friends and hang with my female friends.

It’s been months and I can tell you that I am doing just fine.

Biola and I are still good friends. We’ve not done anything but we’ll be in SA together for the channel O awards later this month. She wants to go for the award and I’ll be representing

Thursday Oct 27, 2011


I was still in bed when the text message came in

Mr Noble, the HiTV camera will be coming to your house today to record a day in the life of Noble Igwe for the Breakfast show as agreed.

A day in my life? I thought I had a boring life that no one would be interested in? I looked around my room trying to figure out something that may give me point. I didn’t notice anything until a 6 pictures of Amber Rose wearing nothing but Media takeout tags. I’m a huge fan of Amber Rose and yes I collect her pictures.

You may not agree with me but I think I had something with Amber Rose in my former life. Maybe we were lovers or I was just her BODY guard. Whatever it was, I was very close to her body.

I called the HiTV team to give them my address and quickly went to tidy up my house. After putting my house in order, I started practising my “Just waking up” look. I was still waiting for the camera crew when the text message from Yola came in.

Nobs, your flight is 9:30am tomorrow on IRS. When you get to the airport, ask for Derby

IRS is one airline I have never flown and it was even more difficult because people were always dissing them via twitter telling them to change their cupboard.

I called my contact

Nobs: Hey, why IRS?

Jen: Good Morning. That’s the only airline leaving Lagos for Yola on Friday morning and we want you guys to get here on time because the event is same day.

Nobs: So Tiwa and Sinzu are on this same flight?

Jen: Yes

I don’t know why but the call made me feel a bit better but then I couldn’t still stop thinking about IRS.


The Camera crew came late so they waited for me at my second meeting place of the day, Deuces and from Deuces we ended up at my barbers.

The clip will be shown on HiTV’s the Breakfast show by 9am on Tuesday, November 1, 2011.


Oh yeah! it was Segun’s birthday and Segun’s wife we had a surprise dinner for him.

It was a good gathering of a few of his close friends and we had a really good time.

Friday October 28, 2011


I woke up that morning and funny enough I didn’t dream about being on any aircraft. I was looking for a sign or something that would say “Don’t fly” but nothing happened, so I packed and headed out to the airport.

Got to the airport and was joined later by Tiwa and Sinzu.


So we got on the plane and I went to check if the emergency door had been recently used. I was not scared or anything, I just wanted to make sure that it has not been used in recent times.

I sat down, prayed and then for some reason, I decided to go through the pictures on my phone. I saw some not-so-Noble pictures and deleted them. You know, with the plane up there, I didn’t want anything that will make me look like a sinner.

It was a very smooth flight and we got to Yola almost on time.

Friday, Saturday and half of Sunday was spent in Yola.

Sunday October 30, 2011


Back in Lagos and I had to rush down to Bogobiri for TNC. It was a good event and I made new friends. Saw babes dating people with less than 10k in their account and 4 naked ways to win a Samsung Galaxy.

When the event was almost over, it started raining and for some reason Biola crossed my mind.

Biola had something for rainy nights. She was always calling to ask if it was okay for her to come through.


Got home and there was no light, so I decided to step out for Ice cream. I tweeted “I feel like Ice Cream factory”, few minutes later, a text message came in.

Arewa: Pick me up so we can go together.

Arewa lives in my neighbourhood but we only met recently. She stays two houses away from mine and we met one morning when it was raining and she was walking to the gate in the rain.

The first thing that drew my attention was her backside. It looked like she was a UK size 8 up and a size 14 at the bottom. Her umbrella covered her body but could not cover her entire Toolz.

I stopped to give her a lift to the gate. Not because of anything but because it would have been unfair to leave a neighbour in the rain. Remember “Love your neighbour as yourself

In the car, we got talking and she told me she stayed in the BQ of the house and she saw me going about my business sometimes.

We exchanged numbers and with time moved from SMS to an exchange of BB PINs. We’ve bumped into each other at Deuces once or twice but we’ve never discussed anything major.

I quickly had a shower and changed my boxers. I didn’t change my boxers because I was expecting something to happen but I didn’t want to be caught unawares. Our people say ‘Mgberede nyiri dike,mana obu mgberede ka eji ama dike’.

I got to her gate, called to inform her that I was at the gate.

She rushed to the car in a few minutes dressed in a see-thru tight t-shirt; I could see her entire boobs well packed in a red bra.

She was packing the sort of boobs that would make any newly born kid reject his or her mother’s breast milk and demand for hers.

Arewa: hey Nobs, this rain is serious ooo, don’t you want to come in?

I can swear that I heard CUM in.

The truth is, I considered going in for a bit but I wasn’t sure of how much I could withstand.

I’ve not had sex in a while and Arewa’s nri nwa was looking better than the entire Ice cream flavours at ice cream factory.

I got out of the car and followed her in…


Noble Igwe

Noble Igwe

Nobs is a SLU…shh trust fund kid who works just to exercise his body and mind. He’s “Unruly” but as calm as the “ABE” boys. Referred to as FYI (Fly, Young and Igbo) by his friends, Nobs says iT tHe wAy iT iS. Follow him on Twitter @nobsdaslushhkid Enough of the English language……..My name is Noble Igwe,go figure!


  1. Saw babes dating people with less than 10k in their account

    Hahahahaha isi adiro gi mma. I’ll be glued to my TV to catch the breakfast show

  2. ‘ I think some men does not want to see the mother of their children going up and down on their member’….who edited this piece?

  3. The fact that you are in a sex less relationship is not smtin for public consumption. If u care about her like you say you do, you should jus shut up about your sex life, thats what respect is about. Everytin about your private life withe her should be just thatt…private.

  4. Longer piece, one bad Gbagaun!
    Where’s Cha? She’s my favourite person..regards T̶̲̥̅Ơ̴͡ her sha, and Zoba.. Ƨ̣̣̣̇̇̇o̶̲̥̅, when shld we expect Ð next memoir? Month end?

  5. Waste of time Mr Noble. I wonder why I keep reading this.
    I guess your editor forgot his/her job: too many typos here.
    The memoirs this week was written in a haste and shows little connections to other parts of the story: almost as if you were forcing the words to make sense.
    I know you’ve got a writer in you, please let him out. Noble Igwe, read more often and write everyday, you’ll get better someday

  6. D info on your no sex relationship was unnecessary. If u respect her evn a little, you would keep your relationship and the sex or lack thereof private.

  7. We missed you too Nobs! Its just sad and heartbreaking that after all this time this is all we get. Bi ko don’t keep us waiting till January for the next piece.

    1. What if Buzor is like me and does not believe in wanking?
      Buzor, this your size 8 up and size 14 Toolz with DD nri nwa does not exist in real life o!

  8. i don’t want to believe Zoba doesn’t give head.

    lets just say this is your probation period.

    HEAD is essential to staying together, trust me….quote me.

    Nobs….More Slush kid na! abeg!!!

    Loved the boots u rocked @ The Naked Convos


  9. The hate comments are so funny…

    “Saw babes dating people with less than 10k in their account and 4 naked ways to win a Samsung Galaxy.”.. funniest bit. 🙂

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