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My September started not much different from the months preceding it. This similarity lasted only for the first twenty-three hours, then things kicked into gear properly. I picked a fight; found a love; met my inner freak; made up with a good friend; suffered a scare or two; remembered a lost love and tried something different.

Now it is the tried something different bit that inspired this post.

Last Friday evening I met up with a few friends of mine to go clubbing. This in itself is no big deal, unless you are Franque.

The last time I went clubbing was in 2007 and before then was 2006, so this was something of a big deal. My idea of a good time is a cool lounge, mellow music, a few drinks, some bites, good company and witty conversation; then there is the stay at home and play video games – preferably soccer – with friends, drinks, music, yabis and some food.

Starting on Thursday I borrowed Jigga’s car as he would be out of town. On Friday morning whilst cleaning the car, I noticed a graze around the bumper. Quickly, I took a photograph and sent to him enquiring who or what he hit – I have the singular misfortune of getting bashed or grazed whenever I took out the car, even when I have no recollection of it happening. So, I took photographic evidence for my vindication.

We agreed to meet up at De Marquee and that was where I met with my first difficulty. I personally avoid the Island as much as possible, so the only places I have ever allowed myself to know are the Galleria and straight from there to the Palms. Once I have to turn off that straight road, a GPS will be needed to find me.

I asked my friends for directions on how to get there and it was decided I would meet up with Sean to take me.

21:19hrs found me at his place, and after a couple of stops, we were parked and crossing to Mega Plaza.

As soon as we came out to the rooftop, I was glad Sean had called ahead to reserve a table. Drinks were ordered while we waited for the rest of the gang. It started off as a balmy night, the stars above us, people around us, alcohol inside us – I was getting introduced to Jack, being a Southern Comfort man myself. When the others arrived and I got up to say “hi”, the woozy feel told me I had to slow my roll a little since I was driving. It was cranberry juice for me from that point on until I had lined my stomach with oil and pepper from the platter we ordered.

As the night wore on and the drinks settled in bloodstreams, the music seemed to get better. I blinked, and everyone at my table was dancing. Make that everyone minus me. I wasn’t that inebriated – yet. After several attempts by the gang to get me dancing – including a sandwich which I liked very much as it involved soft flesh pressing against me on either side – the rhythm found me.

It started with a left- right shuffle, then twirling arms, the occasional fist pumping, the grind, next thing I knew, I had moves like Jagger. Well, it may have been jaga-jaga moves, but in my head it didn’t look or feel that ugly. In retrospect, I guess alcohol does that to you.

By 04:00hrs Saturday morning, we were ready to leave. This was after changing the dance floor a couple of times because the rain would fall and then stop; knocking over a drink which almost landed on DJ Jimmy Jatt’s million naira equipment – I do not think he would have been so cool had the drink hit; meeting with and talking to complete strangers; killing off enough Jack to make me worried; taking really funny photos and watching one of the girls with us hook up with a BBCrush.

Locating our cars was easy enough, we were parked on the ground floor close to the entrance, plus most people had left anyway.

I pulled up behind and to the right of Sean, and was trying to sort out the parking fee when I felt, then heard, plastic on metal. I was too shocked to react, but Sean calling out my name snapped me out of it. Dude had reversed into me! I leaned out the window to examine the damage: some scratches – nothing brake fluid would not hide, and a slight dent in the lower part of my door – nothing I could do anything to hide.

“It’s alright,” I said even though I knew it wasn’t. I was thinking of how to explain it to Jigga. As if he read my mind, Sean said “Tell Jigga I did this.” You bet I will, I thought in my head.

We drove off, me tailing Sean through all the twists, bends and turns that is Victoria Island. As soon as we got on Eko bridge, my geography auto-corrected. I knew my way home from there.

I pulled out from behind Sean intending to pull up alongside him as there was no need following in his shadow anymore, plus his blinking hazard lights were hypnotic to say the least. I signaled left and my bumper was close to his fender when I heard the whoosh of water, and then milky blindness! Even though I had my wipers working, the volume of water Sean’s tyres had sent crashing onto my windscreen was plenty. I gently tapped my brakes afraid that an outright slamming on them could cause the car to spin or drift on the wet road.

The water cascaded off and I saw one of the wipers bent at an awkward angle, still working. I was just accelerating when I felt a thump behind me. Someone had just hit me. 4am is not a time to be assessing such on a Lagos bridge, so I carried on driving only to be bumped on the right by maybe another car! Amazingly, through all of this I did not feel any panic. Not even when it sank in that the wiper not working properly was the one on my side. I wound down, reached out and held it in place.

When I finally got home, I found my neighbours were haphazardly parked in the compound and I had to leave the car outside. I made sure it was right in front of the gate!

When I finally woke up, I went out to assess the damage: a small dent in the driver’s door, a not-so-small dent on the left hand side of the fender, a busted right side view mirror and a missing wheel cover. All because I chose to go clubbing rather than play safe and attend a 7pm Bez concert at Jazzhole that would have had me home before midnight!

More than the cost of fixing the car, what weighed heavier on my mind was “How do I tell Jigga?” That ‘evidential’ photo I had taken earlier now came to bite me in the behind. After hours of stressing, I finally told him later that day when we all met up at Mama’s house. I was sweating profusely and Big Mama – my sister – could not keep a straight face. Surprisingly, he took it better than I hoped. He told me he was glad I was ok, and that everything would be fine. Just as long as I understood I was bearing the cost for the repairs.

PS: If I had stayed home, it would have cost me a whole lot less than that night did, more than it is doing. Just this morning, I learnt I picked up a piece of metal that eventually shredded one tyre. Yes, I have a new tyre tacked onto my bill for repairs and replacements. The only thing is, if I had stayed home, I probably would not have had this post.

Shocking even is the realisation that if I had a choice, I would repeat that night over and over again. Sadly, it only happens in September; only happened this September.



"Franque is in aviation, which by the way is not his job, just a lifestyle. If he ever kept a diary it would read like his articles will. Unfortunately he doesn't. Scratch that. He didn't.AIRtiquette is a walk in his shoes. Since regular isn't in his vocabulary, brace yourself for a bit of airwalking!" Follow @franque_521 on twitter.


  1. *holds laugh* Naaaa I can’t. Buhahahahahahahaha!!!!! LMAO! :p wait u picked a fight? :O hian! O well, if it didn’t happen, we wouldn’t have had this post.

  2. thank God u r alive to tell ds story. As per d dents,your own na small. I’ve known and seen people who crash d latest cars,some fatal,some not fatal. Dont ask me what happened afterwards,cos d answer would put u off.

  3. Hahahahahahaha Franque nd his “jaga-jaga” moves… Glad u had a fun nyt nd got a story out of it, even tho… oh well, *lips sealed*. Dis wuz funny sha

  4. When iFirst heard iCouldnt laff but now…. Bwahahahahahahahahahaha! Franque U̲̅ ddnt tell me d story ws dis interesting…. “Shebi” u “sha” had fun! Thanks 4 kick starting my friday wiv dis post… Laffed all thru.. u should club more…like me!

  5. Lmao u still can’t dance??? Anyway sha thank God its only car repairs ur paying for n not body repairs(l’hopital). Stick to bez mehn he addeth no sorrow hehehe. Nice write up

  6. Wassap family? Another Friday and what a way for me to start it: Stuck in Dakar! Oh well…
    @ alibaba: 1st. Congrats!!
    @ Chychy: Sha enjoy this lafta @ my expense o;
    @ Uk: if only for the steps iDid, it was worth it;
    @ Kay: That’s a ‘negatory’. It was waaay less than iThot;
    @ ibetapassmynebo: Maybe nxt tym iWill listen to u – in ur dreams. Dude don’t listen;
    @ MaBijo: it’s when u see someone’s DP on ur friend’s BB n crush on him for his good looks. Fancy runnin into him in a club n he’s even better lookin in person;
    @ Jazz: iWill take u d nxt tym;
    @ ghaycee: iHav idea…
    @ Miz_Parker: iWill unseal ur lips when we see. U kno u had ur own fun too;
    @ Lorlah: if u had known d full gist den, u pro’ly wouldn’t hav read this;
    @ everyone_else: the gang that nyt included @SeunAwoniyi, @ciiphii, @Mimipire, @chicasa, @obioramann, @Shomade, Jamilia and Id. Thanx guys for the experience. Let’s do this again sometym SOON

  7. Dude….next time you are not driving!!!….or maybe I shouldn’t drive. May be we let the “lady in green” drive…..

  8. Its good to try something different once in a while, the experience hopefully inspired much more than this post. You’ll probably do it again soon and be a little more careful not to get JACKed by Mr DANIEL!

  9. ” I had moves like Jagger. Well, it may have been jaga-jaga moves” lmao
    I was at De marquee that night,the Dj that was playing before Jimmy took over should be jailed,i almost left because of the rubbish he was playing.I remember when the rain started and all the girls screamed and ran towards the entrance of the balcony a dude closed to me asked why they were all screaming and my friend said that the brazilian weaves they had on was getting wet lmao.

  10. @ Stranger: Still can’t dance o. As for Bez, what can iSay?
    @ Mateelly: “poteyto”, “potahto” same ni;
    @ Sean: only if she proves she can drive stick, that lady in green;
    @ thePETproject: More o, much much more than this post. As for friends, iWill revert to SoCo, tho iKinda liked good ol’ Jack;
    @ Mike: u really where there. So it wasn’t the alcohol, it was the DJ! iKnew the music got better. LOL @ Brazillian weaves, but dat one sef dey.

  11. I’m laughing so hard my cabbie thinks he carried a mad woman! Aww poor baby, glad u r ok tho and glad you can write about the experience and no regrets!
    That being said, am I the only one who wants to hear about the other things that happened in september?? Especially picking a fight (seems so unlike you) and the inner freak part… Totally for informative purposes of course :D. Great read as always, keep up the good work~

  12. Hahahhahhaha!!! Sorry Franque, didn’t mean to laugh at your misfortune… Only you can make an otherwise horrible story sound so funny…
    Look at the bright side, you had fun… Twuld have been horrible if you hadn’t…

  13. ​=))º°˚˚˚°ºнaĦaнaº°˚˚˚°º‎​=)), twas fun seeing you dance afterall.
    @Mike: You were really there! That Dj be killing my steez at first.
    So frank ccan we hear the oda details of september in oda posts and all? ‎
    @Sean: Nyce meeting you.​​​

  14. @Benjoy: Duuuuuude!!! Wassap?! How far? E don tey o! No worries, iHaff not turned an ‘atiro’ just yet;
    @ TL Bridges: Where have u been? iHaven’t stopped kickin myself for not takin ur contact details when we spent all that tym 2gether. We still have that DUEt to do 2geda. As for the other things that went down, y’all hear about them over tym;
    @ Nengie: iSee u. iStill owe u that movie;
    @ Lady in Green: u made it all worth it; u and the rest of the gang. So, will u drive next tym?

  15. I disagree, if you chose the safer option, you’d have different post that we would enjoy just as much, if not much. With your track record, you could be in CHURCH and still have something interesting happen to you.
    That aside, I enjoyed the read and I’m glad you are okay.

  16. I cant even laugh enough.. That is sad though! all that cost for a night out?! I would have beat myself sideways all day and banished myself into the dark room for a week….NOT

  17. @ M.E.: Maybe, maybe not. Oh well…
    @ LiG: Not even if the stick was mine? iBeg to differ;
    @ HoneyDame: iSee u. iAm still thankful for it all;
    @ Jigga: Dude, how about iJust buy the car? Payable whenable tho

  18. I haven’t been hiding, read every time, just don’t comment much. Funny enough, I’m flying with you guys to lag this wed and doing the stay in airport thing again. I’m up for DUEt whenever you are ready, it would be an honor as I’m sure you know. Keep up the good work, be safe and maybe stay away from clubbing and driving hehe..

  19. @ Lorlah: oh well…
    @ T.L. Bridges: if u come on the same service n wait at the food court, iMay meet up with u b4 9 n 10am;
    @ nengie: iHear u.

  20. Unfortunately, I’m on the 10am flight then wwould be waiting till about 1. If you are still there then, I’ll be at the food court. If not, another time then 🙂

  21. It’s been a while Franque but absence makes the heart grow fonder. Loool. Imagine, how can you get bumped like 4 times hehe, jack must’ve been working overtime 🙂
    Lol me and neefemi are on the same page here, I feel the same way too. Something has got to give 🙂 How are you?

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