Twitter is funny. I know this is NOT about Twitter but then Twitter is very funny. Everybody tweeting and supporting the popular topics. Have you noticed that everybody is supporting one football team, one Formula One team/person, one basket ball team, has something to say about London fashion week, New York fashion week, US Open etc.
It is considered “uncool” to ask questions or not to be tweeting about events happening in other parts of the world. Here’s the truth, you don’t need to know anything about these events, people or activities, all you need is Google and BIS. People find it difficult to ask questions and learn.
Talking about Twitter, a few days ago, a fight broke out between two friends people and in the process of the fight, one accused the other of patriotism. She said that she has slept with about 30 State governors in Nigeria. While I do not believe this, here’s what I think. If there’s someone out there with such an achievement, then we should consider a national honour for such a person with something in the neighbourhood of OFR, MFR or Helper Federal Republic.
Imakwa n’ ukwu wu ego? On a more serious note, why are ladies always eager to let out secrets during a fight? People throw away all the good parts of friendship and cause lifetime pain just to win a fight? Friends share all sorts of secrets and things. People open up to friends with no idea of what the future holds but I also don’t think a fight is big enough to make you give away those things someone secretly shared with you.
Biko, Did you know that on the 1st of October 2011, we are holding it down at Deuces for Music and Chykay. Performances by Chykay, Beazy, Zara, Pope, Witness, Wizboy, Dammy Krane & LOS Boys.There’s no gate fee
In the future when and if I decide to run for president, please do not bring up Memoirs of a SLU…shhkid. I shared my life with you because we agreed to keep it here. I’ve thought about something and may just have to do it. Maybe I should stop writing from so far back, I mean, we’re almost in October and I’m still talking about what happened in May. How about we forget all that and I start again from say…last weekend? Please let me know what you think and we’ll go on from there.
Sunday May 22,
I stood by the door and for a minute, I thought I was missing one ball. I looked at Chaa and she pretended like she didn’t know what she said. I went to sit beside Zoba and she locked hands with mine.
Iti: Nobs, thank you for letting Zoba go with me.
Nobs: Nah. It’s nothing jor. You are family and we’ll support family in every possible way.
Iti: Maybe we should all get a drink.
Chaa: Yay! I’ll walk Biola to her car and then I’ll change
Nobs: Biola didn’t say she was leaving and I think she’s free to join us for a drink or two.
Biola: I should actually be on my way. Chisom, will you walk me to my car?
Chaa: With all pleasure
Biola: So Nobs you won’t even walk me
Chaa: But I just nominated myself or am I not good enough? N’ekwa nkapi
Zoba: Nobs, walk your visitor. Be a gentle man.
Chaa: Biko ndi gentleman. Biko, Biola safe
Biola: Thank you, Chisom
I prayed and hoped that Biola didn’t hear Chisom refer to her as “Nkapi”.
On a very serious note, I’m beginning to think that Chaa is not really my sister. We are good people in my family and we don’t say nasty things to people. Maybe Chaa was adopted. We got to Biola’s car and her first question threw me off balance.
Biola: Why did Chidi behave like we’ve not met?
Nobs: He did? I thought that you lot had said your “hellos” before I walked in.
Biola: He only said Hi and that was it.
Nobs: Maybe he didn’t remember and secondly he’s been through a lot.
Biola: Anyways, when is Zoba leaving?
Nobs: I don’t know yet .Why?
Biola: Nothing. I want to know if it’s okay to bring you fruits this weekend. I don’t like this pimple on your face. I think you need a lot of fruits.
Nobs: She’s still around tho but I can’t say what her reaction will be.
Biola: Haba Nobs, it’s just a friendly gesture.
Nobs: Thanks Biola. You are really a good friend.
Biola: Thanks Nobs. I know I have not been so good to you but if you give me time, I will right all my wrongs. A friend of mine once joked that we both look good together.
Nobs: I guess we do
Biola: Come and kiss me good-bye jo
Nobs: Bee, friends don’t kiss na. We agreed to start off as friends abi?
Biola: But we’ve kissed before and it does not really matter to us. It’s supposed to be a friendly kiss. Anyway, I will not push it.
At that point, it felt like I was being too hard on her and should have been a lil chill but I also knew what I was going to lose.
Nobs: Bee, I’ll going up now
Biola: I will miss you. Let me know if you need anything.
Biola’s last words reminded me of Slim. Slim was very good to me but I also knew that one thing or the other day came between us, whether her books or even this memoirs. Slim was always there for me and we used to have these late night conversations. Thanks to MTN xtra cool for cool people.
I decided to call Slim
Slim: Mr Igwe, what is the occasion?
Nobs: We are drifting apart.
Slim: Iwo lo mo
Nobs: That’s not a nice thing to say to a friend.
Slim: Chibuzor, what do you want ?
Nobs: How’s your mum?
Slim: She’s fine and I told her we are no longer friends
Nobs: Why would you do that?
Slim: You are now a big boy and I have lost my friend.
Nobs: Shut up. You didn’t lose anybody.
Slim: What do you want ooooo?
Nobs: Where are you?
Slim: Festac and I know you won’t come.
Nobs: That’s not a good thing.
The thing is this. I have not been totally fair to Slim. I ‘ve not gone to visit her at home. I even promised her mum that I was coming but never got round to it .
Slim: Nobs, I’ve missed you.
Nobs: I’ve missed you too. Maybe we should see a movie.
Slim: Go jor , you know movies & I don’t gel.
Slim hates going to the Cinema. The first time we went to see a movie together, she wore her cute glasses and locked her hands with mine. We looked like a couple but we were just two friends on a movie date.
I have something for people that wear glasses. I have always imagined that my wife would have cute glasses that she would have to take off when kissing gets intense. You know like take it off and place them by the side table before we make love. Then sometimes, she would need to put them on to read our kids to sleep before joining me in the master bedroom.
Nobs: Maybe a drink
Slim: Okay, come tomorrow let me buy Ghana high for lunch.
Slim: Cool but you’ve not still told me why you called me this evening.
Nobs: You crossed my mind and I decided to call. Good thing is that we are hooking up tomorrow.
Slim: I’m excited.
Nobs: Me too
Slim: Maybe we should get some drinks too
Nobs: Not again.
Slim: Just few glasses.
Nobs: Okay but we’ll have lunch first
I rejected Slim’s drink offer because of something that happened in the past. We went out one night and she said that she was going to get me drunk. We started off with a bottle of Champagne and then Slim started asking the waiters for different cocktails and at some point I stopped feeling my legs.
Slim took me home and I asked her to help me with a glass of water from the fridge. I closed my eyes to wait for the water and the next time I opened them, it was 10am Saturday. I went back upstairs and met Iti alone in the living room.
Nobs: So how did it go?
Iti: She spoke to me because of Zoba but she also said that I have one week to sort out my life as it regards her.
Nobs: I don’t understand.
Iti: She said I should go and end whatever it is that I have with other women or we can end it today if I agree to let her go to work with my phone tomorrow.
My heart skipped a beat.
Hand over your phone for a whole day?
Well, I can do it.
Nobs: So what have you decided to do?
Iti: I took the one week to clean out my phone and come back cleaner option.
Nobs: Really? That’s huge.
Iti: Well, I plan to buy another line and Blackberry which I’ll be leaving at the office. There are people I wouldn’t want to just cut off like that.
Nobs: I know what you mean.
Iti: Are you ready for the drink? I need alcohol in my system, nna.
Nobs: Let me get Zoba.
On entering the room, Zoba was lying in bed, gisting with Chisom.
Chaa: We even thought you went home with her.
Nobs: I’ve been in the living room with Chidi, ewu
Zoba: She was very relaxed like she wasn’t planning on going.
Nobs: She was in the estate and decided to drop by and say hi
Chaa: Anyi ana aka Uka mgbede ?
Zoba: Chisom,you are not serious
Nobs: Chaa, you know am not disrespectful to your friends.
Chaa: Me too but nwa ofe mmanu aburo ya.
Nobs: She’s my friend
Zoba: I don’t have a problem with her as long as there’s nothing more to it. Also, she needs to start dressing like a lady and not something to be used for sacrifice.
Nobs: I will tell her. Are we no longer going out?
Zoba: We are. Chisom, oya, let’s go.
Chaa: Nobs is not happy with me.
Zoba: He is. Bia, buzor, we need to talk about something.
Chaa: Is that a cue for me to leave the room?
Zoba: Mba. Buzor, I want to use your phone tonight and throughout tomorrow.
Chaa : I need to pee