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“I think we’re having a baby.” Not a question, not an accusation, not an indictment, just a statement. A five word statement that sent my head reeling.

The first time those words ever reached my ears, they came from my mouth and were met with disbelief. I was a corper and she had just graduated. We met in church – she had walked up to me to tell me how well I read. We became friends and then lovers. I was very familiar with her body, and so when her skin turned lighter, her breasts looked fuller and her skin glowed, I sort of guessed – a perk of having older female siblings who have given me nephews and nieces.

She waved away my suggestion that she was pregnant, and when I told her that while I would gladly give the baby my name, but not her, she looked me in the eyes and saw that I meant it. She knew me too.

Three days later we were walking home from morning Mass when she said “You were right you know,” and everything tunnelled before me. “But don’t worry, I have taken care of it.” I was ashamed, still am, by the relief that washed over me. For all my huffing and posturing that she did it without conferring with me, what I really felt was relief. Relief that I was not going to be a father just then; relief that she had gone and done the procedure without my ‘complicity’; relief that I did not have to face her father, or break the news to my mother; relief that the people who looked up to me in church would not know what I had been up to; pure unadulterated relief.

Four years later I was in between relationships, and this girl had come on to me on board the aircraft. She had come on real strong, and since I was travelling as a passenger in her direction we met up after the flight and relieved the tension we had built up all day.

In typical human fashion, it was while lying there waiting for the embers to fully die out that it occurred to me that she was not really my ‘kind’ of girl, and I resolved not to see her again.

Back in Lagos we talked a few times, and on one of those nights when I had to sleep over at a hotel, she invited herself over. All night I slept, and maybe her too, and nothing happened. In the wee hours though, morning glory happened. We had finished when two things hit me: first I had played the field without boots of any kind; and second, I was reminded of why I had earlier resolved not to see her again – asides her unflattering looks – she was aggressive in bed!

Two weeks later and my phone rang. “I think we should see, there’s something we need to talk about.” My heart stopped for a bit but no one would have guessed because I calmly said into the phone “Just go right ahead and tell me over the phone. We are having a baby, aren’t we?”

“Yes.” She said in a timid voice. One word, so final. For a few seconds I mentally laughed at the irony. The one girl I had sworn never to see again, and I was two weeks on my way to doing so, was going to be in my life for the rest of my life! Life sure had a sense of humour.

“What do you want to do?” She asked me.

“To be honest, I have no idea what I want but I do know what I don’t want. A child right now, that’s something I do not want.” Not altogether a lie, just not the full truth.

“Me neither,” again in that small voice.

One week and a few thousand naira later and the deed was done, that bond severed.

“I think we’re having a baby.” Not a question, not an accusation, not an indictment, just a statement. A five word statement that sent my head reeling.

That was two weeks ago, but this time I was ready; this time I am sure.

“We are keeping it,” I said to her before taking her in my arms and kissing her. I felt her tremble slightly, and I knew why she was so shaken. My mind was made up: I was not going to hang her out to dry; not going to force her into a decision that was ours to make, both of us. Together we would take life’s bull by the horn.


PS(Franque): “Catch the tail by the tiger, take the horn by the bull” was my favourite Fraggle Rock song; I miss those days when life was simple.

PPS: I want to thank Enitan, Miz Parker and Tera Firma for sharing with us. Thank you for rescuing Friday and the one after!



"Franque is in aviation, which by the way is not his job, just a lifestyle. If he ever kept a diary it would read like his articles will. Unfortunately he doesn't. Scratch that. He didn't.AIRtiquette is a walk in his shoes. Since regular isn't in his vocabulary, brace yourself for a bit of airwalking!" Follow @franque_521 on twitter.


  1. Waoh! Two abortions and a baby later. I’m not in support of abortion because I believe if you’re willing to do the do then you should be ready to take responsibility for your actions,but then,what’s my business?

  2. Good Luck this time around. Children are the heritage of God, so i know that regardless of the circumstances you are doing the right thing and will never regret it.

  3. @ Everybody: There is a 4th, the alphabet D. D is for Don’t be quick to judge; it’s never clear cut. Thanx family for ‘participatin’ in this weekend’s “talk your mouth”, iWill return on Friday with one of our regulars.

    1. I can’t blame you either.

      I’ve had one done and it’s horrible and I always regret it.

      I will not advice anyone to go down that path but I have chosen not to judge anyone again. Certain factors need to be considered and being put in that position one needs to make certain decisions that may hurt but will be beneficial to all.

      If I had a chance to do things again I might still go for the option I went with. Not because I am not remorseful for the act I carried out but purely because it also severed me from having anything to do with the father who denied it blatantly….

      Im glad you decided to go ahead with this (I’m confused has this child not been born cause I thought you had a child already?)

      Enjoy every minute of being a parent i’ts well worth it.

  4. 🙂 Nice… And I know its the story of lots of people’s lives. No one should judge anyone. We’re all human beings. We do what works for us not what’s supposed to be right or wrong.
    Franque… Respect.

  5. abortion…… baby……if u are not safe why cant he zip up naaaa…..lubricants and condoms are not expensive..i keep saying this

  6. Lol I thought of something else but I won’t mention it here. I agree wholeheartedly with Neefemi, you made the right choice and I know you won’t regret it. As for the past two, i’m sure you learnt from them.

  7. @franque,i can’t blame u,won’t blame u. We live in a very hypocritical world. My very good friend had a baby at home i.e her bobo denied d pregnancy.i am yet 2 meet anybody dat has been verbally vilified like she is right now. The baby is in hiding so she won’t soil d family name. Add to the fact that babies are not cheap to maintain,go and price SMA and pampers plus nanny 4 a month,then u’d understand d financial implication.Those people who judge should only say something when they r in the same shoes with the victims. Until then keep ur peace and pray it never happens to u. Our soceity frowns on illegitimate babies and so abortion is thriving.simple.

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