I haven’t really featured my girls in the chronicles for a while, I don’t know if you guys have missed them but they are back, for good 🙂 And this time around, the gist that made the chronicles is “our first crushes”.
Every girl has had a crush one time in her life; for most of us, it happened when we were little. For a few, which includes Enitan, it happened when they grew older.
Let me gist you about Enitan’s first crush, which abnormally just happened some months back (first crush at 23. That girl ehn…smh). She claims it wasn’t her first crush, but she can’t remember any one before then. But as far as I’m concerned it wasn’t a crush if she can’t remember. She calls this first crush of hers “crushee”.
In her words,
I started liking this crushee, I see myself as the crusher when we started working together. He seemed to be crushing on me too and so it was fun. He is a rich kid and so we had fun going out especially to places where my pinishin allowance couldn’t take me.
I had requirements for my type of man in my head and he met all of them. Me that I like boys that can kiss well and with strong bumbum that I can grab anytime, his bumbum was strong and I grabbed it a couple of times and boy can he kiss?
I have always promised myself not to carry my agbere self to work but then I figured what the hell? It’s not like I’ll be chasing him after the project
Somewhere along the line Enitan realized that her “crushee” couldn’t only kiss, he was also an ardent skunk smoker. She said “the man wasn’t even into cigarettes o, he was into skunk!” As if that revelation wasn’t enough, Enitan stumbled on the fact that crushee was married with kids.
I just thought, wow! The guy can procreate o! at 27? I ran fast for my life ehn!. I have decided to stop crushing and wait a bit for love. My crush just disappeared fast fast.
I saw him some weeks back when I went to get stuff for my mom and he was with his kids and wife, pregnant again! That man’s land is green! Na God save me
You think Enitan’s crush is hilarious? Here is Trish’s – she was in jss3 when she met her crush and started crushing on him. He was in a different class from hers. She didn’t know anything about him apart from his class and she just used to “scope” him from afar. One day, she got introduced to her crush by a friend of hers and all she he said was “hi”.
According to Trish, “he didn’t say anything apart from that and I thought his voice was really cool”. She started looking forward to other times they would get the chance to talk. Weeks passed and all they said to each other was “hi”. A chance finally came for them to talk. Trish and her friends were outside their classroom with her crush standing close, when someone walked up to crush and asked him a question, he didn’t know the answer and he referred the person to her in pidgin and Yoruba.
Wtf?! Trish thought. At that age, people never really spoke all that in school; I mean it was the age we all “formed” for each other. He then moved close to our girl Trish and kept talking to her in pidgin refusing to notice the fact that she was practically lost, not because of the language but because her crush had just disappointed her!
He offered to walk her after school and then when they got halfway he asked for a hug. Trish said “I pulled away immediately because he had mad body odour! Oh God I couldn’t stand it” I just said goodbye to him and my crush died immediately. We kept talking after then but that was just the end of my crush!
Reanne’s first crush… she was 8years old when she started crushing on this fine boy who was around her age in church. She looked forward to Sundays because of him and was always eager to get to church. Because her friends were also crushing on this fine rich kid, she always wanted to get to church early so she could sit close to him and if not stay somewhere she could see him clearly.
Her neck was always stretched to see her crush every Sunday. Luck smiled on Reanne when she was picked to be part of the train for a church member’s wedding and her crush happened to be the ring bearer. He smiled at her a lot and she just wanted to melt and die! Her crush was finally going to propose to her. She crushed on this boy for years and finally, when he was thirteen, she got invited to his birthday party.
All of her friends were so happy to be at this party and they all looked forward to talking to the guy who rocked their worlds. Well, he shocked them all by talking to and dancing with just Reanne for the whole day. Her friends were green with envy while Reanne became Prince charming’s Cinderella.
Reanne wasn’t in church for a while after the party and by the time she returned to church, her crush had moved to another church with his family. She cried her heart out in her room, her love was gone! She didn’t see him for years until recently when they hooked up again. Maybe the childhood crush can become something meaningful and strong, who knows?
Giselle started crushing on this guy who was years older than her when she was 9. He was her everything, he could speak well, dance well and was just too fine! He didn’t talk much to her and so, she stole glances at him when he wasn’t looking and prayed to God that he’ll one day openly confess his love to her. She always dressed neatly when he was around and could change her dresses five times over anytime he came with his parents to her house for a visit.
Well, one day, her crush came to her house with his parents for a visit as usual, he then quietly left where their parents sat discussing and gestured at Giselle to come. She was ecstatic; her crush was smiling at her and silently calling her? He probably wanted to get down on one knee and confess his love to her where both their parents wouldn’t see them.
She followed him and then he dipped his hand into his pocket, brought out a letter and handed it to her. Then he told her gently “please Giselle, give this letter to your sister. Please, it means so much to me. Promise me you’ll give her” Giselle nodded and her crush smiled and left immediately. She opened the letter and with tears in her eyes read how her crush confessed his love for her sister. She ran to her sister, gave her the letter and collapsed on the bed where she wept her eyes out and refused lunch.
Ok, here’s mine. It’s not as dramatic as the others though. Started crushing on Ayobami in my ss3, unlike my other friends who had fine boys as the object of their fantasies, mine was not fine but boy! Did every girl like him? He was the typical ISI(international school University of Ibadan, well yes had to advertise my secondary school :)) big boy and he just somehow got girls drooling. Me on the other hand, was too cool to be noticed and I just er…stuck to my class of boys.
I crushed from where I was and never dared to move. Then one day, he walked up to my friend, whom he talked to, asked for my name and he came to me and started talking to me! He asked for my number and started calling and texting! I was over the moon! We became really close and I swear I fell in love. All the “big boys” in school who didn’t seem to notice me before started saying hi and girls went green with envy.
I was loving this, my friends teased me and he didn’t mind talking to me in front of everyone! Well, this didn’t go on forever because shortly after secondary school, my crush asked my friend out. I cried for days, my entire household knew I was in love.
Our first fantasies people! 🙂