Coco’s Chronicles: Let’s Talk About Sex

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This week I’ll be talking about sex. It’s not porn, not at all. I don’t think I’ll make a good “porn writer”. So don’t expect too much.

I have noticed something, boys that make noise about their sexual prowess the most are the worst when it comes to the real act. No, I haven’t been with so many but I have many girlfriends and we talk about our best and worst.

Reanne and Biodun met through a friend and they got close and blah blah blah…let’s get to the real story. Biodun felt he and Reanne had a strong sexual chemistry and felt they should try it once. He promised he was a good lover and that he’ll give her sexual healing just as Marvin Gaye had talked about it. He told her he would give her an experience she’d forever think about and would never forget.

Reanne was all charged up and then the day came. The only thing Biodun seemed to know how to do was remove both their clothes. Reanne said “he kept sucking my nipples like a puppy would lick milk and he just didn’t know where or when to stop” like that wasn’t enough, Biodun well…er..arrived a little too early. Reanne added “he didn’t even get in. My little finger would have done a better job! He’s by far the worst anyone can have!!!” She rolled her eyes all through the act and couldn’t wait for it to be over. “And his weight didn’t make anything better. He just laid on me all through the short event like I was the bed itself!

Here’s Giselle‘s worst ever – she started dating Yinka in our second year and boy did she love him? He was her everything and then the time came for them to get down. He came all the way from Abuja to see her and she was excited both physically and er…sexually. He started with the foreplay and it was good, it was as if he was born with it, he was so skillful she wondered where he learnt from. She was ready by the time the whole foreplay was done and couldn’t wait for the next stage. He gently eased into her and then his phone rang. Yinka picked and she heard him say “I’m sorry. I’ll be there“. Then the unbelievable happened, Yinka removed his er…”something” quickly and got dressed before Giselle could get over the shock, he headed for the door and told her his girlfriend just called him. She wasn’t sure which one to be angry at, the fact that he didn’t finish the business he started or the fact that she learnt he had a girlfriend during the “business!”

My worst ever was with a guy I met through someone few years back. He was really sweet and nice. He was just the perfect boyfriend material but that isn’t all I want in a man. The whole getting down too has to be good! He always told me he was good and would make it worth my while and all the guys before him would be nothing more than a faint memory. Well, we did it and boy was he boring? He started the foreplay, made me wet and also overdid it I got dry! Then he started with the annoying fingering thing and started playing with me I wanted to slap him hard! The act itself made me doze and I counted the minutes. We had a fight months later and while he was trying to get back in my good books he said “I know when we get under the covers again, I’ll make things right” Oin? I couldn’t help but laugh!

So Trish said she’s been having it all good and Enitan, she’s still on the lookout for the man who’ll pop the cherry. Anyone? 😀

Coco

Coco

I’m a totally simple, sweet, funny down to earth girl. Extremely fun and nothing of an introvert. I’m so much into writing, I don’t have enough space left in my heart to love something else. I’m addictive and you’re not likely to let go once you know me. Twitter handle, @tomilola_coco

21 comments

  1. What a turn on the leaf and at the same time unexpectedly creative. I feel more so this should, so moderate, well equipped message; though, short. Pls let Us have the experience of those other girls or don’t put them in this episode and in subsequent episodes where they haven’t got experience

  2. This is my first time through this link and assuredly, I didn’t regret it. An important issue tackled from a subtle but creative perspective… “An empty barrel makes the loudest noise” so they say… Who is the ‘pen’ here? I owe u an applause

  3. Empty barrel do make loud noise… But wen it comes to sex, talking or boasting about ur prowess in bed doesn’t necessarily mean u will be up to no good. Most ladies like a man dat can tell dem what he can do with confidence… Experience has taught me that it can even be a turn on for some ladies. However while some guys pass this stage of theory they simply don’t know how to get pratical… I recommend they go back to ‘skol’. Some guys know both and they won’t hesitate to show and tell u what dey can do. The ladies coco mentioned hear are so unlucky to fall in d hands of the former. Nice write up…

  4. ok..this is a good write-up, but its got to be fictional right? cos if its not, then i’ve got meet enitan….i did’nt think anyone above 15yrs of age would still be a virgin in this modern day…. (LOL)

  5. Well dts sex 4 u…..anyone wil tel u dt der r gud n bad ones…lol my worst ws wit sm1 whose thingy was abt 5 tyms wider dan d girth of ma thingy….I cudnt wait 4 it 2 b ova….nice write up coco…keep em comin

  6. yeeepaaaa!!!I just couldnt help but comment..choi!! Giselles own was d worst..asin dat ws jus sooo terrible..dat guy nids to b castrated…buro uba

  7. well in all d cases, ur gurls did remember which was d promise and blabbin d guyz talked abt. so Reane remembers it as being d smallest and shortest, Giselle’s is d most embarrassing and ur’s was d mosty boring. Exactly wt d dudes promised. Well I ain’t promising nothin but if u serz ’bout ur girl eni, U know u just got one brother.

  8. @streetmade:lol
    @captaindaniels: lol. Thanks
    @covytuff: hehehe as dem no get bad sex experience nko?
    @ariyo: hmm yes I have. My own somtin
    @ola: fictional? And u still want enitan’s no? How na?
    @Em~kay: spanked and locked up for a few days
    @haibeekay: hehehe don’t worry, when we need male experiences we’d axe you 🙂
    @afe: thanks boss. I’m glad you like it
    @lanreallenjay: thanks
    @olubodun: lol. She really had it bad huh?
    @sodibaba: lol

  9. wat an interestin one..well it took ‎​Ṁ̭̥̈̅̄ǝ̩̩̩̥ sometime b4 I realised sex itself Is a biz on its own.U̶̲̥̅̊ jst hav τ̅☺ be outta dis world.but since I knew dis..tis only if U̶̲̥̅̊ don’t come..ℓ☺ℓ

  10. All I have to say is that, that yinka dude is gay, I mean how would you be in the middle of an important business ąπϑ be picking up calls… Jeez who does that?!
    Ok let’s agree he had to pick up the call, why not finish what you have started, even if you have to go hit your gf next, hit the wet 1 in front of you.
    Nice write up btw, I really hope its nt fictional.
    If you are ever looking for a guy that could work wonders, I’d suggest you try ąπϑ hook up with guys from benue, trust me I would know

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