This week I’ll be talking about sex. It’s not porn, not at all. I don’t think I’ll make a good “porn writer”. So don’t expect too much.
I have noticed something, boys that make noise about their sexual prowess the most are the worst when it comes to the real act. No, I haven’t been with so many but I have many girlfriends and we talk about our best and worst.
Reanne and Biodun met through a friend and they got close and blah blah blah…let’s get to the real story. Biodun felt he and Reanne had a strong sexual chemistry and felt they should try it once. He promised he was a good lover and that he’ll give her sexual healing just as Marvin Gaye had talked about it. He told her he would give her an experience she’d forever think about and would never forget.
Reanne was all charged up and then the day came. The only thing Biodun seemed to know how to do was remove both their clothes. Reanne said “he kept sucking my nipples like a puppy would lick milk and he just didn’t know where or when to stop” like that wasn’t enough, Biodun well…er..arrived a little too early. Reanne added “he didn’t even get in. My little finger would have done a better job! He’s by far the worst anyone can have!!!” She rolled her eyes all through the act and couldn’t wait for it to be over. “And his weight didn’t make anything better. He just laid on me all through the short event like I was the bed itself!”
Here’s Giselle‘s worst ever – she started dating Yinka in our second year and boy did she love him? He was her everything and then the time came for them to get down. He came all the way from Abuja to see her and she was excited both physically and er…sexually. He started with the foreplay and it was good, it was as if he was born with it, he was so skillful she wondered where he learnt from. She was ready by the time the whole foreplay was done and couldn’t wait for the next stage. He gently eased into her and then his phone rang. Yinka picked and she heard him say “I’m sorry. I’ll be there“. Then the unbelievable happened, Yinka removed his er…”something” quickly and got dressed before Giselle could get over the shock, he headed for the door and told her his girlfriend just called him. She wasn’t sure which one to be angry at, the fact that he didn’t finish the business he started or the fact that she learnt he had a girlfriend during the “business!”
My worst ever was with a guy I met through someone few years back. He was really sweet and nice. He was just the perfect boyfriend material but that isn’t all I want in a man. The whole getting down too has to be good! He always told me he was good and would make it worth my while and all the guys before him would be nothing more than a faint memory. Well, we did it and boy was he boring? He started the foreplay, made me wet and also overdid it I got dry! Then he started with the annoying fingering thing and started playing with me I wanted to slap him hard! The act itself made me doze and I counted the minutes. We had a fight months later and while he was trying to get back in my good books he said “I know when we get under the covers again, I’ll make things right” Oin? I couldn’t help but laugh!
So Trish said she’s been having it all good and Enitan, she’s still on the lookout for the man who’ll pop the cherry. Anyone? 😀