No BS: Is it cool to stay friends with the “EX”?

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I know it’s a bit late and all that but I just got a text message from an “Ex” and it read:

I’m in Lagos for the weekend. Can I stay at yours for 2 days. I’ve missed you too

This is someone I dated about 6 years ago and we’ve both moved on. She’s dating someone and the last time we spoke, she seemed really into him.

The problem is…

I’m a bit confused on my actions/reactions would be considering the fact that I still have tiny little feelings for her.

While I support staying friends with the ex but I’m really scared that Okafor’s law may come into PLAY in this.

I’m a bit worried and would love your candid advise –

Is it okay to stay good friends with the “ex” and allow them to stay over at yours?

Please advise me on how you would reply her message ..

Noble Igwe

Noble Igwe

Nobs is a SLU…shh trust fund kid who works just to exercise his body and mind. He’s “Unruly” but as calm as the “ABE” boys. Referred to as FYI (Fly, Young and Igbo) by his friends, Nobs says iT tHe wAy iT iS. Follow him on Twitter @nobsdaslushhkid Enough of the English language……..My name is Noble Igwe,go figure!

24 comments

  1. In truth,it really depends on you. The answer lies within u. If there’s nothing at stake, I guess remaining friends with your ex and letting her stay over would be understandable. However,if you are in a relationship…ask yourself if you would be okay with your partner remaining friends with her ex and letting him stay over at hers. If you aren’t, then it’s not just okay.

  2. depending on the maturity of both parties, Remaining friends with ur ex is cOol buh a certain amount of distance should be kept Especially if u guys are now dating other people… its okay to hang out with her if she is in town but her staying over @ urs for 2 days is totally unacceptable…

  3. I’m friends with my ex,we re both in relationships bt everytime we see each oda,let’s jus say okafors law.lol.I think to avoid complications since u still have feelings for her,its best she find another accomodation.

  4. lol!!!!seeing the msg all i thot was okafors law n then u mentioned it.think of ur personal consequences n let her do her own thinking.ure both adults i bliv she knew wat she wanted wen she asked to stay at urs so i think its healthy; provided its cool with u.remember ure both adults.n she knowswat she’s doin n wat she wnts n has a right to say no but i know she will say yes!!!!!hehehe!!its nobs we r tlkin abt here.

  5. The answer is no unless of course u want something later, am not saying hate them but define that friendship, you can’t be too close to your ex, its dangerous!

  6. It depends on you actually, if you’ve still got feelings for her am not sure that would be a wise decision besides if you are in a relationship your partner might not like the idea. Personally it a NO.

  7. The reply”Hey, hope ur good. Right nw so much is goin onn, work et all, I’ve bin seeing a psycho(biola) nd she recently beat up a collegue who stopd to c me.I’d h8 4 our re-union 2 b strained so get a hotel thts cnvenient nd easily accesible, I’m rlly xcytd bout seein u.
    NB: zoba nko, abeg we lovee d drama, bt we’d h8 to loose u 2 sme female fiasco..
    Xoxo

  8. Ofcos u can be frnds wiv an ex! Dnt jes complicate things by letting Okafor’s law get in the way (sexual urges are totally controllable!) Jes be sure u both are on the same page and ur partner’s ok wiv it…make her understand its nufin, it’ll be hard buh try.
    Who knws? Maybe ur ex askd u cos ur her only hope?

  9. Its rili cool 2 stay friends wt an ex bt nt too friendly… It actually shows maturity, dat d 2 of u hv rili moved on wt ur lives! D only tym complications arise is wen dere r still feelings attachd nd d 2 of u hvnt gtn ova each oda. Bt if d relationship is truly ova, den friendship shoudnt be an issue

  10. I’m still close 2 all my Ex’s. One is still in my office and even tho’ she’s now married, we still steal kisses n smooches @ dark corners. According 2 her, her hubby is a suegbe who never offers her d thug loving I offered her when we were dating. Her hubby thinks oral sex is inappropriate n dat was her fav when we were 2geda. God bless Okafor 4 dat law!

  11. Being friends with an ex is not a sign or maturity. I have no clue where u peeps are gettin that from. Its not a sign of anything really. The real sign of maturity is knowing and owing up to whether or not you want to be friends so you can go back and hit that when you want or if you truly want to be friends with the person.

    In this specific case, if she asked to stay at your place, its probably because she wants to enact okafor’s law, not because she thinks you guys are friends. So if you want to as well, tell her to stop forming and come do what you people want to do lolz

  12. I suppose people r meant to still be friends after a relationship? Peeps, u make it sound like a relationship is only about sex. U can still indulge without an extra commitment. The choice is urs. If it makes a single guy happy, JUST DO IT! If not first mention it to ur partner, if u think u hv one. But by every means, give shelter to d needy joor. Naija babes una too wicked…. Haba!

  13. Its ok to remain friends but when u know it can lead to other things remain long distance friends. And when it will lead to stuff rgardless of the distance, then its time for the friendship to die a natural death. Above all never deceive urself. That whole I can handle it crap is just crap since all the time u know it to be false n ur secretly hoping something will go down. Nuff said

  14. Being friends, YES but a distant one. Staying over, NO cos u both will get mushy and nostalgic about the past and before u know it u re all over each other. The next thing u know will be RegretsN Regrets and Regrets. To avoid any regrets, No staying over. No one ever really get over there Ex no matter the circumstances under which they parted ways.

  15. Do you respect your partner? If you do, then NO, it is not cool to have your ex stay over at your house. Issues like her accomodation shouldn’t even be your business. If you do not respect your partner however, then by all means, have your ex stay over at your house, mandate her, even, to sleep in your bed without clothes. If your partner told you her ex were asking to stay at hers and she’s considering it, what would you say/do?

  16. Well, if I were you I’ll gladly accept her, cos this cold weather is just wasting for nothing (Knack her AkPaCKo. She’ll pay for accommodation with her assests. Buh if you’re in a r/ship, please don’t accept that ish, stay faithful or once again, if I were you, I’ll give her a wrong addy (that’s if she doesn’t know the addy sha).

  17. Sincerly,its wrong for her to stay over cos okafor’s law mite occur and the end result could be disastrous.Its cool if she’s α̲̅ friend bt kip ur lines boldly drawn ãήϑ crossing that line is like goin back to ur leftover…Skikena

  18. If u both don’t want Okafor’s law in action, she can stay, buh u either vacate ur room, or let her stay in Chaa’s room. If u think ur a big boy, bigger boy wld control u. L♥√ع♡̷̬̩̃̊ U̶̲̥̅̊r blog by d way

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