Memoirs Of A SLU…shhkid: Wk 57

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I know you are already tired of my excuses on posting memoirs late and in some cases, days late. The truth is that, I’m involved in several projects and most of my clients need to be satisfied.

One thing is certain; I will always try as much as possible to satisfy you all.

Anyways, I’ll try as much as possible to finish the activities of the past and move to something more current.

WOW Magazine’s new edition is out now and apart from the fact that the beautiful Nse is on the cover, you can also read the hot Memoirs of a SLU…shhkid – the missing pages. It would be nice if you can get your hands on a copy and start following that too as it contains details you will never see here.

Thank you for the continued support and please keep visiting

Here we go…

Saturday May 21,2011

When we heard the knock, Iti looked at me and smiled. I was scared and different ideas went through my mind. I thought maybe Biola called Iti and informed him that I was hanging out with Zoba in her hotel room and both agreed to “tidy” me in Zoba’s presence.

I was scared but then it was not like I was “smashing” Biola while I was trying to date Zoba. So what could she possibly say?

Nobs and I are dating” and I would have answered “and Atiku is still the vice president of Nigeria

The knock came again and Iti was looking at me to get the door. I wasn’t going to move an inch until I heard her voice

Zoba: Buzor, * Knock Knock *

Nobs: Ana’m abia

Iti then stood up and opened the door because he was closer to the door.

Truthfully, I think Iti was out to get me. To him, I did not exist and he was out to get me out of Zoba’s life. Talking about Zoba’s life, I had only been in it for less than 24hours o.

Zoba came in and it was obvious that she’d been at the Gym. The sports Bra she had on made her boobs more attractive and somewhere in my head I heard tiny voices shouting “Nobs, free us” but because I had decided not to think about Zoba in that way, I said a little prayer in my head asking satan to unfollow me.

Zoba: Chidi, you didn’t tell me you were coming?

Chidi: I realised that you left a food flask in the car and I decided to bring it.

Zoba: Oh, I ‘ve even forgotten about that one and it’s my mums. Daalu so

Chidi: It’s in the car. (and then he turns to me). Maybe we should ask Noble to help you get it from the car. My car is packed almost at the spot I packed the other day.

Zoba: Haba Chidi, why would Buzor go to your car na. Kedu udi insult bu ife afu?

Chidi: I was not insulting him oooo. He said he came here to watch TV and to have his bath. Seeing that we have a lot to catch up on and the TV is off, maybe he would be happy to assist you.

Zoba: Was that what Buzor said? He must have been joking. He spent the night here and I didn’t want to wake him when I was going to the gym.

Chidi: He spent the night?

Zoba: Is there anything wrong with that?

Chidi: Chizoba, please I would like us to talk in private.

Zoba: Ok. Let me take a shower first .

Zoba went to the wardrobe, grabbed some clothes and went into the bathroom leaving Iti and I alone in the room.

For almost 2 minutes I was scared he was going to go Killz and rehab bouncers on me but instead, he decided to insult me some more.

Iti: Chizoba is my cousin and she’s very special to me. I don’t know what it is that you two are doing but you need to put a stop to it fast.

Nobs: I really don’t get what you are on about.

Iti: She was sent to a good school overseas and there’s no way you can take care of her with your almost-here music money.

Nobs: Really? That reminds me, I was going to ask if I could borrow your Range Rover for a video shoot. I’m doing a remix of one of my singles with Konga.

Iti:  I advice you go for a car your height. Preferably a Volkswagen beetle.

Nobs: Thank you for the advice. About what you said, I really care about your cousin and will not leave her until she asks me to.

Iti: I’m sorry but a musician is not the type of brother in-law that I want. I have been close to some of your colleagues and you all are bad news.

Nobs: You must really have something against musicians.

Iti: It won’t work. Move on. If you need assistance with your music, we can help but please stay away from her.

The bathroom door opened and Zoba stepped out looking fresh.

Chidi: Noble, please can you excuse us. We need to talk?

Nobs: Oh cool. I’ll be outside

Zoba: Buzor, stay, I will talk with Chidi outside. I won’t be long. You can order breakfast if you are hungry or maybe wait for us to go together.

Nobs: I will wait

They went out of the room to talk but I could still hear them.

Outside the room*

Chidi: Why did he sleep here last night? What are you doing with a musician?

Zoba: What is wrong with a musician?

Chidi: Not all of them can be as successful as D’banj. You need to stop this. I really hope this is just a summer fling.

Zoba: I’ve always loved him. We are just trying things out. Besides he’s not a musician.

Chidi: I’m going in and I will throw him out of the room.

At that point, I didn’t want to listen anymore. I turned up the TV and thought about leaving the room on my own before it got embarrassing.

I really couldn’t say what Chidi had against the music industry or my person but I felt the hate was misplaced and I was paying for the sins of “The others”.

Here’s the truth, Chidi was way bigger and I wasn’t planning on getting beaten for love. I would have loved to fight for Zoba but not fight her family.

I waited for the moment that I would be thrown out of the room.

The door opened and Zoba walked in without Chidi. She walked straight to me, held and kissed me with tears running down her face.

Nobs: What’s wrong, hun?

Zoba: Am I not old enough to decide whom I want to be with? Why is Chidi being so difficult?

Nobs: Where’s he?

Zoba: He’s gone.

Nobs : Why?

Zoba: He said he does not want to be in the same room with you.

Nobs: Zoba, I can go if that will make him happy. I really don’t want to come between you and your family. Maybe I shouldn’t have slept here.

Zoba: Buzor, STOP

Nobs: Zoba, I really hate this situation and like you said he’s very protective of you. Maybe he’s just looking out for you.

Zoba: I’m an adult and I know what I’m doing.

Nobs: Ok.

Zoba: What are we having for breakfast?

Nobs: You say?

Zoba: Okay let’s go down to the restaurant

Nobs: Okay, why don’t we go to my house and I’ll get Chisom to prepare something.

Zoba: That’s nice. I really want to see her. We’ll get something on our way and I’ll make the breakfast.

Nobs: You don’t have to, love.

Zoba: You didn’t ask me to.

Nobs: Okay, I will just grab my shirt from the bathroom and we’ll go

Zoba: Do you have any shirt there?

Nobs: The one you washed for me..

Zoba: No way! I’m keeping it so that when I miss you, I will sleep in it.

Nobs: That’s so cute. You can keep it then

Zoba: and I also want a bottle of perfume

Nobs: We will get that at mine.

For a moment, I couldn’t believe what was happening to me because everything felt different. I looked at her and I almost shed tears. She fought her family because of me, washed my shirt and even suggested to make breakfast for us. That moment made me consider marriage with her in the picture. What I imagined wasn’t bad at all.

All the way to my car, I was praying not to run into Biola or any of my keles. The morning was going so well that I didn’t want anything to spoil it.

Luckily for me, we didn’t encounter any kele from 4Points to Mega Plaza and back to Lekki 1.

Home – Saturday

We got home and before I could shout “Olu maintainZoba was in the kitchen asking Chaa what and what we had so she could make breakfast.

I thought it would be rude to leave her alone with Chaa, so I stayed in the kitchen helping out (by standing in the corner).

My phone rang and it was Ebuka calling to find out if I was home because he was on his way to mine.

I told him I was and would like him to meet Zoba.

Zoba: Chisom, so I know your brother brings different women to this house. How do you cope?

Chaa: Not anymore. Years ago, maybe.

Trust Chaa. She may not like my keles but she knows how to cover up for me at times like this.

Zoba: Okay. I’ll tell you “I told you so when I catch him”

Chaa: Hmmm

Zoba: Buzor, why are you in the kitchen?

Nobs: I want to be with you.

Zoba: I will be with you during breakfast and after. Go have your bath.

Nobs: Okay, aunty Zoba.

Zoba: I like your ringtone. Please play it for me.

My ring tone is “Fall for your type” and I was happy that she liked it. So I played it and left the phone and quickly went to shower.

While in the bathroom, I quickly took down GSC. – General Shower Cap. GSC has been used by different women especially those that did not plan to spend the night. Packed the other toothbrushes, went back to the room and put them all in the drawer under the bed.

I looked around the room for anything that may put me in trouble but there was none.

I locked the door to shower and a few minutes later I heard a knock on the door.

It was Zoba.

Zoba: Buzor, your phone has been ringing.

Nobs: (Thinking it was Ebuka calling back, I said) you can take the call.

It didn’t take up to two minutes and she knocked again.

Nobs: Who’s that? Chaa, I’m coming

Zoba: I’m the one. A certain Biola just called.

Only one thing came to my mind – E don be!

Noble Igwe

Noble Igwe

Nobs is a SLU…shh trust fund kid who works just to exercise his body and mind. He’s “Unruly” but as calm as the “ABE” boys. Referred to as FYI (Fly, Young and Igbo) by his friends, Nobs says iT tHe wAy iT iS. Follow him on Twitter @nobsdaslushhkid Enough of the English language……..My name is Noble Igwe,go figure!


  1. Iti should just go away please…what’s all that??? Mchewww….is he going to marry his cousin? Biola sef should delete herself now…ogini kwa!
    *still grouchy from having to wait this long for memoirs* uh well,shebi you said you’re posting another one on Saturday…

  2. E don be ooooo!! Chai! I knew that Biola was bad news. But GSC tho? Lmao! Nobs u’re a trip walahi. Zoba sounds too good to be true jor. I suspect her. Or maybe its because I still love Ada. Ada will always have a special place in my heart. U should have married that girl. Nice read!

  3. Instead of giving us dry memoirs every week, maybe u should make it every 2 wks so u can give us some more substance with ur memoirs, and also have time to sort your busy schedule out.

  4. Wowza!Iti does not want to give u breathing space at all…Errrmm I like Zoba sha,she seems homely…Meanwhile wat is wrong wit Biola?ofe nmanu n’enye ya reaction n’isi ma obu gini?

  5. LWKMD @I was going to ask if I could borrow your Range Rover for a video shoot. I’m doing a remix of one of my singles with Konga.

    Iti:  I advice you go for a car your height. Preferably a Volkswagen beetle
    This is just funny and Zoba seems like d wife material kind..
    @Nobs GSC,tho??lol..Then Biola has been bad news since Zoba’s arrival..wk 58 PLEASE!

  6. Mbanu nu, Ada is where she needs to be. I don’t know Zoba’s full story but she is more of this man’s speed. Nwanne’m you mess this one up, I will give up hope. Unless she turns out to be something else sha. Chidi is just doing what you would do for your blood. Aunty Biola, why na?? Your own don too much. You pour your heart out to a man and he is not rushing to claim you, biko fall back eh.

  7. very funny!

    i know u love it when u leave us ‘wanting more’, but this is reali painful.
    wk 58 should be longer pls 🙁

  8. I never make comments on your articles, bur sorry to say for the first time its beginning to loose taste. With each day the suspense u luckily created initially is totally fading away. If you still wanna keep your readers u better work on it fast.

  9. Chai..Nobz hz hall hova”…abeg jor nthing dey happen
    That bit abt “the range fr a  video was mad ass funny”
    Cn barely

  10. Some funny and nt so funny lines! Biola tho,why so desperate? Do u rily miss Nobs or u miss the drama u used to have. Sad for u…

  11. You say Saturday May 21,2011, what is today’s date???
    Why na Noble, iGo vex oo
    Btw, this week’s post is DDDDRRRRRYYYYYYY

  12. nobs where is the extra post u owe us?? i have nt forgotten oo…besides update us on the 360 date naw!!bikooo ooo

  13. Nobs, how can u remember the exact words of the events verbatim after one full week? Its bad enuf u delay this memoirs. R we not ur customers? At least we add to d traffic on ds site? Enuf of ur sequels. Memoirs r meant to b ended each week. Abi e don turn super story? Pls end these ur stories n give us juicer ones jare abeg its becoming boring by d day.

  14. ROTFLMAO….chidi should go and buy lollypops and sit under a palm tree……anyway you cant blame him sha,naija artistes are hardly ever serious…….biola is out to get ur ass…..this is another nice one nobs

  15. The truth is, for a while back, I thought Noble had gotten his mojo back.
    But with this constant mediocre writing of what should be a weekly journal of the trust fund kid, I see a day, when he will beg tweet-town 2 come visit dis site.
    U need 2 up ur game dude!
    Have u seen d calibre of bloggers out there? People who chew and spit witty punchlines for kicks? U can not continue this rubbish n expect people2 come here.
    I am really pissed off. I thought things had turned around- seems I should walk now.
    I need2 know spending 5min of ma time on ur blogg will leave me feeling happy nt irritated as hell.

    Admin what are y’all doing?
    I thought voting for y’all @ d blog awards was right- I should’ve voted for the toolsman…sheeeeessssh!!!!

    1. See trouble o. Is it because the man is not talking raunchy stuff that you are vexing. If he stays on the straight and narrow, people will vex. If he is slinging wood from here to Katsina, you all will judge him. Nobs, you can’t win for losing. The man is sharing a piece of his life with all of us, if it is too dry for you biko start ya own diary.

      1. OH PLS NOT Another one of the die hard fans!!!! The truth is NOBS seems to be loosing the kind of suspense he had from the other memoirs/stories. These recent ones are boring and not even believable. Plssss give us more interesting stories, u used to brighten up my mondays.

  16. y are you talking about “May 21” on “August 3” ….that’s just wrong…..and memoirs keep getting more n more boring!!!!!

  17. Noble! Better up your game, peeps are getting angry! The stories are getting wishy washy and its as if we’re begging you to give us memoirs. Abeg jare

  18. Hmmmm. Well,I don’t think Zoba got mad that Biola is calling because you’ve already told Zoba you know Biola and biola won’t embarass herself by insulting Z.
    Interesting post. I love.
    P.S: Iti,should go n french kiss cobra jo

  19. Buzor, so its true that u’ve been detailing our encounters here………am disappointed in u……why kwanu? Chido warned me of you…

  20. Good one Nobs buh criously, d delays r bcumin rather frequent.. Give us some form of consistency so gbo.. Thumbs up anywayz..

  21. You could start another memoir with all these comments oh. Na wa oh. See plenty attack.
    And I see Zoba is pissed. Nobs u are in trouble me thinks.

  22. S** ADDICTS!!!! all ye complainers about content as if you do it 24/7 wont the guy do other things that will lead up to the S** parts eh??…its a blog about his everyday life…other blogs that spit what again did that one say for kicks talk about other sturvs….whatever! You cant tell me u party 24/7 so why shud he…biko ka anyi nu ife jor…..Nobs doesn’t mean I don’t have my beef….1. the blog’s too short 2. as one faithful fan pointed out the blogs usually end every week so pls who’s that consultant that told u to be writing only about sat and sun eh??? not fair…perhaps if you wrote in full the happenings of the entire week esp the drama parts…ur raunchy mmadus might not be so mad at you… much as I defended you I’m also not happy with you…not fair to wait for days only to read two day journal entry…seriously…week 57 is what it says not week 57 sat & sun….e ga fe loose fans gi o!!!!

    that said….borrowing Iti’s car…thats just so troublesome of you LOL!!!…as for Biola…I know her type…they do shakara for you as long as you are chasing them…when you move on is exactly when you are suddenly irresistible….hiss!!!…abeg she shudn’t chase Zoba away for me o…after u messed up with Ada I cant afford for you to loose this one….cos I cant shout LOL!!!!….nice one…just make it longer…finish the week is all I ask!!

  23. so I afta chekin some comments I actually went bak 2 chek d date of post. Nobs Y? 2 me d memoirs z interestin bt 2 short cos at least u started wit a wk memoir den 3 days now its a day. Nobs Y?
    PS: Aw can we be reading d memoir of may in august #fail

  24. Talking of embarrassing or should i say “belittlement”

    Buzor, stay, I will talk with Chidi outside. I won’t be long. “You can order breakfast if you are hungry or maybe wait for us to go together”

    is it just me or does someone else not feel Nobs is being treated as one of those New Jersey guys that girls feed, control and take care of

    listen, this your Zoba girl strikes me like a desperate chick who wants to get married since she have the cash to arrange the wedding anyways. other wise, why will she want to be in the hotel and not opt to stay at yours, and with the kind of mentality you have, you are so impress with her sick tricks ( washing of cloths) she is using on you…..

    1. Na wa o! if u do intend to write an essay, pls dnt shoot bullets at us o; save some 4 Arsenal (God knows dat they need some)

      …since she have the cash to arrange the wedding anyways (GBAGAUN)
      …you are so impress with her sick tricks (GBAGAUN)

  25. i’m loving this chidi guy, he doesn’t seem to bat an eyelid before responding to ur jabs.. so a guy can make u cringe like this.. hahaha

  26. LWKMD @Iti:  I advice you go for a car your height. Preferably a Volkswagen beetle.
    You have to discharge Biola quickly o,make d babe no pour send for your Garri joo.

  27. Lol!! What’s the p?? The memoirs ARE getting a bit boring. That’s just an opinion…no one is asking for anything raunchy (at least not me)…I know why I kept reading the memoirs…it made me come back for more…it’s ok if the writer no longer has anything to say in his stories or the busyness of life has caught up with him; if that’s the case he should simply end it and everyone will simply get on with their lives.

  28. after waiting 4 so long oooo nobs. anyway its so funny that i forgive u sha.GSC tho lol.
    now i patiently wait 4 d next episode

  29. Good day sir…I was actually thinking of how to speak to you thru the phone,but it very much impossible to call someone you dont have his or her number.i was left with the option of commenting which will as well bring out my email…i really want appreciate your works,and the impact you’ve made not only in my life,but as well as the people i introduced to 360nobs…*clears throat*Have you ever thought of translating your memoirs and write-ups to a novel?atleast,you can get to affect lifes that never knew or heard of 360nobs.I can also say its another form of free ads…hit me via the mail bro..thank u sir.

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