No BS: And his future wife replies….

share on:

Dear future wife,

I don’t know if you are out here or reading this right now! If you are, please print this letter and bring it to our wedding reception. It will make a good read before our guests.

They say behind every successful man is a woman. I’ll like to say that behind every successful man is a good woman because I’ve seen men that have shut down their businesses because they got involved with the wrong woman. I want to be successful and I need to find you right now more than ever.

You may not know how much I need you but I come home every night with stories that I would love to share with someone special. I come home late from clubs sometimes wishing you’d be in bed waiting for me to hug your warm body. Your slot in my life is so empty it hurts because I know you are out there without me.

I’ve often imagined how you look. Are you dark or fair in complexion? Are you Igbo, Yoruba or Hausa? I play around with different images in my head but one thing stands out, I know you are very curvy.

Mum can’t wait to meet you and believe me, sometime ago she wanted to hook me up with a certain Ada from my village but that didn’t work. Since we are taking about mum, I’ve always prayed for a marriage where mum and my wife would be best friends. I’ll do everything possible to make sure that mum treats you like her daughter. This I promise you.

I still don’t know why I’m writing you but I guess I was motivated by Waje’s new song “Falling” especially the part that says “If you are ever planning on showing up, now would be perfect, now would be good”. I totally agree with her that now would be perfect. I‘ve waited for long and I need to start loving you on time.

I’ve booked my tattoo date because I promise to tattoo your name on my back the day I’ll propose to you. I’m not scared of having your name on my back because when I see you, I’ll know and I promise never to leave you.

No matter where we are, we must speak to each other every day at noon and have lunch once every week when we are in the same city.

I’ll tattoo your initials on my “wedding ring” finger as a constant reminder to all that I belong to you totally and in whole. I’ve gone as far as selecting some of our special songs.

On our wedding day, when you walk into the church, we’ll have Waje signing,  “Here comes the bride” and just after the exchange of vows, Waje will do an accappela of “One Naira”.

[audio:https://www.360nobs.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/MI-ft-Waje-One-Naira.mp3|titles=MI ft Waje – One Naira]

We’ll walk into the reception with Lami performing “Know

[audio:https://www.360nobs.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/Lami-ft-MI-Know.mp3|titles=Lami ft MI – Know]

Our first dance together as husband and wife should be Banky W’s Till my dying day

[audio:https://www.360nobs.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Till-my-dying-days.mp3|titles=Till my dying days]

followed by Darey‘s “With this woman

[audio:https://www.360nobs.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/10-With-this-Woman.mp3|titles=10 With this Woman]

then MI’s God Bless You

[audio:https://www.360nobs.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/MI-God-Bless-You.mp3]

and we’ll round our dance up with Wande Coal’s Ololufe”.

[audio:https://www.360nobs.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/14-Ololufe.mp3|titles=14 Ololufe]

I know I’m making all these plans without considering you but I’ll be willing to change all or accept any modifications from you even though I pray you love them too.

Is it okay if I tell you certain things about me? I can’t have my bath with cold water. I hate hot tea. I’m not particular about food; I can eat Indomie, fried egg and plantain, 3 times a day for one month without complaining. I watch loads of movies and would totally be glad if you enjoy same.

Nkem, I don’t know what you don’t like but I’m totally against hairnet and wrapper. I can’t stand both either in the kitchen or in the bedroom. We’ll invest in hair wraps. I would have said that the maximum cloth size you are allowed to get to is 10 but that may sound superficial to other people reading this, so I’ll just leave that for us to discuss one on one.

I’m Igbo and we take care of our wives. I’ll work hard to make sure you don’t go hungry for one day till your dying day. I’ll let you decide the number of kids we’ll have but I don’t think 3 kids will be bad and together we can make a happy family of five.

It’s 08:00pm Thursday April 14th, 2011 and I know you are somewhere out there and it does not matter if you are in another man’s arms, when I do meet you, I promise never to let you go. I promise to take care of you, provide you with all the reasonable good things of life that money can buy. If you are reading this, please give me a sign. Walk up to me on the street and plant a hot kiss on my lips as a sign.

I look forward to the day I’ll meet you and when I meet you it does not matter where we’ve been to or who we’ve been with, we will give each other clean slates to start life afresh together as one.

Someday I’ll go on my right knee with All 4 One‘s I Swear” playing in the background and I’ll ask you to marry me.

[audio:https://www.360nobs.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/i-swear.mp3|titles=i swear]

When we wake up in the morning, we’ll have Az Yet’s “Last Night” on repeat while we have breakfast.

[audio:https://www.360nobs.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Az-Yet-Last-Night.mp3]

I’ll write you from time to time to express how much you mean to me.

Love, hugs and tiny wet kisses,

Your future husband,

Nobs aka Stubborn Biafran soldier

—————————————————————————————————————————————
Dear Future Husband,

I am writing this with the smallest glimmer of hope that somehow this would catch your attention amidst the thousand responses you are sure to get. I loved the letter you wrote to me a while back although i must confess my hopes were dashed. You see, i am a size 8 without a 36D bust size. 🙁

I watch you from the background and i laugh at all your silly jokes, you make igbo seem so sexy and i can hardly wait to learn. I understand how mama wants to see you settle down and i can’t wait to meet her. I am sure i would love her and be a daughter to her.
I miss you everyday we are apart and can hardly wait until we meet and start the rest of our lives together.

My mom says when i fall in love i wear my heart on my sleeves and so i am usually quite cautious. For some reason, i am almost certain i won’t be scared to fall around you. For some reason everytime i picture you as a knight in shinning armour you are always holding the helmet (maybe it’s because your head wont fit in) lol.

I envisage the first time we meet; your late so i dash into the ladies to calm my nerves, when i get back your seated beside some other lady trying to woo her.lol. I figure we would spend the whole evening laughing about it.

I love the beach, its my best place in the world for some reason my senses are heightened whenever i am there. Music solves everything for me, it’s the arms that draw me closer when your not there, it’s my friend and hiding place when everyone in the world acts crazy.

Three kids is perfect as long as you ensure we have twins on the first try. I promise never to wear a hairnet, if you promise to teach me igbo.

I love the songs you came up with for our wedding but pretty please could we include “be there” – tu face, “at last”- beyonce and “from this moment”- shaina twain. Somewhere in the midst of all this i would love to dance to “I loved her first” with my dad. I would love an intimate wedding, with only our closet friends there, i think it would be much more fun.

I am far from perfect, i could be very naughty but this i promise you: I would love you unconditionally every second of everyday, we would never sleep with our backs turned against each other, your people would be my people, i would sacrifice everything i have to see you happy, i would respect you even when you hurt me, every word from your mouth would be my truth and we would never part till death.

Hurry up and let’s start our “happy ever after”

Love Now, Tomorrow and Always
Your Future Wife
Sugarboo

Noble Igwe

Noble Igwe

Nobs is a SLU…shh trust fund kid who works just to exercise his body and mind. He’s “Unruly” but as calm as the “ABE” boys. Referred to as FYI (Fly, Young and Igbo) by his friends, Nobs says iT tHe wAy iT iS. Follow him on Twitter @nobsdaslushhkid Enough of the English language……..My name is Noble Igwe,go figure!

35 comments

  1. *wiping tears* this is soo touching..nice wedding song selection too.This is just really nice.I hope my future husband (wherever he is) is as romantic as this..Nobs and future wife,Thumbs up 🙂

  2. Wow! This is so touching. Pls find her asap. Nothing else matters,I’m sure. I wish you guys the best. What’s more,she writes beautifully well too.

  3. Oh wow!! Dear Nobs’ future wife, I don’t know u but just reading what u had 2 write makes me pray 4 ur happily ever after. Well done

  4. Lolllllll niceeee……
    What’s funny is that you wrote this on my birthday. I wear size 8 with a very very cute 34DD size (Trust me, dats my best physical asset).
    I just don’t like Ibo boys (crying,wailing and screaming)!! And if we have to marry, clubbing will have to reduce, I want my man with except work nd God is involve.
    Hahahahaha I have to laugh again because am silly replying you. Anyways, wish ur future wife all d best. Please make her happy like you have written.
    Your twitter ffer,
    Dee!

  5. Nobs,

    my guy na ur eyes u go sharpen becus e be like say e don dey happen, no lele,…*2face’s voice*

    Something tells me this is a set up!

    something tells me she’s the one!!

    It’s ur call dude………start something!!!

  6. I am absolutely in love wiv both letters. I think iv read it over and over again. Everyone loves a happy ending, I really do wish things happen just like this for your sakes..

  7. Sugarboo, beware! Nobs is not for only you ooooo, dont think because you write well we will just let him go like that,NEVER! Except if you promise to let him continue with Memoirs when you guys are together,agree?

  8. Absolutely beautiful…the songs classic! Just in case she is yoruba, you could try Eji Owuro by Shola Allyson – ask for the translaton, I’m sure you will enjoy it.

  9. this is sweet, i love both letters.
    i learnt something -promise my husband ‘we would never sleep with our backs turned against each other’
    love is the greatest gift of all.
    Good luck Nobs & future wife!

  10. the indomie part with fried egg and plantain was so hilarious meen..i was crackin up like mad!
    nice one bruv!

  11. Lwkmd o. You don’t do hairnet and wrapper that’s just hilarious. Dear future wife please hurry up and come o

  12. hhhmmmm, iove nwantinti!!!!! ‘m loving this. Feels lyk disney fairy tales with the happily eva after endings…plssss Nobs can u find dis chic osiso biko, so d wedding bells can start ringing??? But promise you wont seize my iPhone and Blackberry or make me fetch water with a big bucket during the traditional marriage. Pls tell me on time so i can buy my ticket to naija on time o (lolllll). The songs were nicely picked and i can see she shares same flows wiv u….

  13. Love thz,welldone Nobs,u’ld really make a Great family man…Sugarboo,ahn ahn,pretty piece..u both av good ears for music..wow!

  14. U both have my hat doffing…..u peeps make me wish we were born in medieval times….and shakespear would have been given a run for his money….this is a classic!!!

  15. This is so beautiful. Am loving this write ups. Nobs I think you have a perfect match.
    Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Sweet

  16. It’s the end of 2015. I don’t think sugarboo and Nobs worked out pretty well. Maybe the people in the letters turned out different in person. Hope another comes up in 2016.

    Sincerely.
    Avid watcher.

  17. It is 2016! and Nobs is married (traditionally). I hope u remembered all those promises the day u proposed and I hope u fulfill d rest on d day of your white wedding. Love, huge fan

Leave a Reply