Okay I admit. You no longer love me like you used to and it’s all because I’ve been posting late. I’ve been apologising but there has not been a significant change in my posting habit.
I totally hate posting late too because in most cases, I also forget some of the details and it’s usually takes a while trying to remember them. I’ll try and take us through as thoroughly as possible without leaving out the important happenings.
And like I said in week 53, we are really grateful for the love and support that you’ve shown and more importantly for nominating us. May God continue to bless you and yours. Please click http://nigerianblogawards.com/vote.php to vote us in the different categories that we have been nominated.
Moving you on…
Friday May 20,2011.
Many of you here do not know the importance of our Lord’s prayer but believe me it works wonders. I did not know what to expect from Biola considering what happened between us the last time she came to my house. I know some of you may be thinking, “Karma has finally caught up with him” but believe me, I know Karma and I’ve seen her a lot at De Marquee. She goes around with different men and still comes around.
Biola: Yes, I know him just like every other girl.
Ladies and gentlemen, that was it. Biola killed whatever I had left as pride and I was lost on how to make a come back. I was not really bothered with Amala or Iti, I was worried about the impression such a statement would leave in Zoba’s mind.
Chidi: Oh really. And I was thinking that no one knows his music.
Biola: Nobs, do you sing now?
I looked at Zoba who was just staring at me and then I took a quick look at Amala. For a second I noticed Amala’s Baseball cap. The way he positioned the baseball cap made him look like a plate of Amala with unequal piece of Pomo and soup on the same plate. I know I’m not fine but I don’t think parents should let kids see Amala at night before bedtime.
Nobs: Am I supposed to answer that too? I guess you can ask every other girl.
Chidi: Come on son, don’t take it personal. The lady was just asking a question. Besides I don’t see anything wrong with being friends with the ladies.
That was it. I thought about all the happenings of the day and how Iti had been rude to me all day. We had only just met but then for some reason he found it cute to talk to me anyhow.
Biola: Nobs, I ‘m just kidding na.
Nobs: I hope it’s okay if I excuse you lot.
Zoba: Nna, biko
I looked at Zoba and she winked at me. The wink from Zoba did things to me and for a moment Biola’s boobs looked different. I mean, seated opposite me were different women with amazing boobs and for a minute, I realized that there are boobs and there are boobs. Both boobs are like bouncing castles in two different children’s parks. While Zoba’s are like the ones located in a private park with very little use, Biola’s looked like they needed some lifting. I agree, I might have been a lil pissed but there was nothing friendly about the remark.
Nobs: Zoba, can I see you in private?
Chidi: Noble please don’t be a party pooper
Nobs; I have a studio session and have to run.
Biola: Nobs, I’m really sorry about what I said and I know you know why I had to say that.
Nobs: I really don’t understand but I’ll just pretend that I do.
Biola: Nobs, don’t be like this
Nobs: I just want to talk to Zoba for a minute.
When we got outside, I thought about asking Zoba to tell me what’s up between her and Iti but that would’ve made me appear desperate. So I played it cool.
Zoba : What’s wrong with you and who is she?
Zoba: The Biola girl
Nobs : Someone I know
Zoba : and what was the remark about girls all about?
Nobs : Okay! Here’s the truth – We had something and it didn’t go well. I guess she’s still unhappy about that even with her food beside her.
Zoba: Gi n’ onye? Ofe nmanu?
Nobs: is there anything wrong with that?
Zoba: knowing your mum I don’t think she would have approved.
Nobs : I see that you both gisted well. I saw her last during Amara’s wedding.
Zoba: Yes, I heard she’s married now. What about Chisom?
Nobs: She’s in Lagos. She works in a bank.
Zoba: Buzor, please stay now so that we can catch up on the happenings.
I thought about going back in but then, that would have made me look “planless”, so I decided to hurt my feelings and desire to stay back.
Nobs: I have a meeting with a client
Zoba: Will you come back after your meeting?
Nobs: Sure. Let me know when you are less busy.
Zoba: I’ll always be less busy for you
I watched her walk back to the restaurant and the song “Ele ukwu egbuo ewu” came to mind. I’m not really an ASS man even though I support Arsenal but Zoba has got Ukwu Nwanyi Owerri.
Talking about Ass, I’ve realised that the bigger the ass, the bolder the stretch marks. A big ass with stretch marks is like a Range Rover with an Ugly spoiler.
Apologies to ESMU– Extra Large Stretch Marks Union
While walking out of 4Points, I saw an old boss and his receptionist holding hands sitting in a corner at the reception. I’ve said this again and I’ll say it now, don’t allow a married man to take you to 4points reception. They will catch you both. That place is like mammy market and the beating will not be easy.
I don’t know if you’ve been in that situation where you consider deleting someone’s number just because you don’t want to ring them? I considered deleting Zoba’s number so that I wouldn’t have to call her. I called….
Man’s voice: (in a very low tone) Is the session over, Noble?
Nobs: Please who’s this?
Man’s voice: Chidi
Nobs: Oh. It’s over.
Chidi: Whom did you record with today?
Nobs: Goldie & African China
Chidi: He still sings
Nobs: Please can I speak with Chizoba?
Chidi: She’s still sleeping
Nobs: Please tell her I called
Chidi: I can wake her for you
Nobs: Please don’t
I hung up and different thoughts went through my mind. I imagined that they just had sex and Zoba was just resting. It made me feel like I didn’t try hard enough. Like maybe I should have stayed back for lunch. Maybe if I had stayed back I would have been able to make an impact on Zoba and give her reasons to leave this married man. I hated Iti more and regretted meeting him.
I called Shirls
Nobs: Hey you
Shirls: What’s up?
Nobs: I’m good. Where are you?
Nobs: What are you doing tonight?
Shirls: Nothing. Why?
Nobs; I was thinking you may want to come say hi
Shirls: I’ll try but I’m having cramps.
Nobs: Oh. Sorry. You need to rest then.
Shirls: Maybe tomorrow
I know you may be judging me but the truth is, I did not ask her to stay back because she was “on”, I asked her to fashy because I didn’t want her to go through the pain of coming all the way to Lekki from Yaba.
The phone rang and it was Zoba.
Zoba : Where are you ?
Nobs : I’m at home
Zoba : And I’ve been here waiting for you
Nobs : I called you
Zoba : No, you did not
Nobs : Zoba, I called you. Hang up and check
Zoba : Okay.
She hung up, checked and called back.
Zoba : You actually called.
Nobs : Your boyfriend said you were sleeping.
Zoba : Who?
Zoba: Are you silly? Chidi is my cousin.
Zoba: I’m so pissed at him right now. I was meant to stay at his place but his girlfriend does not like me so I had to do with this hotel.
Nobs: Ok. I’ll see you in a bit.
I went to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of White wine and a pack of cookies. I thought about putting condoms in my pocket just in case but decided against it because I didn’t plan to have sex with her on the first date.
On getting downstairs, I saw Biola parking, so I waited for her to get down.
Biola: Are you going out?
Biola: I wanted us to talk
Nobs: Talk about what?
Biola: Talk about us
Nobs: Are you tired of eating solid food?
Biola: Nobs, be serious
Nobs: I’m serious
Biola: I’m so sorry about what I said today.
Nobs: It’s all good.
Biola: I’m ready to do anything to make it right.
Believe me, I thought about asking for a blowjob right there in my car but that would have been wicked of me, so I passed.
Nobs: Let’s talk tomorrow
Biola: Are you going to De Marquee?
Nobs: No, 4points
Biola: To see her?
Nobs: Zoba? Yes
Biola: Oh really.
Nobs: Bee, we will talk later
Biola: Wow. Guess whatever you are rushing for can’t wait
Nobs: I like it hot but from the look of things, you like your Amala cold and very black.
Biola: I’m in your dog’s house today.
Nobs: By the way, he needs to lose that cap
Biola: I’ll call you later.
On getting to 4points I was confused on what to do or how to go about my feelings for Zoba. So I decided to play it safe.
She opened the door in a short dress showing off all the details of her mad body. We called the reception for a wine opener and glasses.
Zoba: So you were jealous of Chidi?
Nobs: Yes and he didn’t make it easy for me.
Zoba: He’s always protective of me and wants the best for me.
Nobs: He hates me
Zoba: Maybe because I told him that I like you and have always liked you.
We spoke about everything from growing up to the people we grew up with. What they were doing presently and at some point I laid down facing the ceiling while we were still talking.
Within a short period, her head was resting on my chest, parts of her going up and down with my breathing
We were still talking when she asked the question?
Zoba; Will you spend the night?
At that point, I wanted my Tomb stone to read “HE LIVED & DIED A VERY HAPPY MAN”