LET’S TALK ABOUT IT (for adults only)

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‘’Let’s talk about sex baby, let’s talk about you and me, and let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be…..” If you happen to have sung these lyrics sometime ago, then you know it’s none other than the retired trio of Salt n Pepa.

Taking a cue from this song I would like to talk about SEX. Now I’m not here to explore the whole world of sex but rather I want to hone in on one tiny, rather important aspect. My curiosity was aroused by a tweet on my timeline; this question was posed by one tweetie to the other “are you good in bed?” Now this got my mind racing and my over active cerebrum kicked into hyper drive. This supposedly was a simple, straightforward question, with a yes or no or maybe answers, or was it? Most people would readily answer that question in the affirmative, not considering it’s real implication. I think Sex in all its ramifications is all about a single goal, which is SATISFACTION.

Simply put, the whole world does the “dougie”, or to use a new local parlance I just learnt “kpanshing” to alleviate the URGE. In majority of cases a 50percent satisfaction rate is usually recorded where two parties are involved or 25/75percent where it’s a ménage (use your imagination to solve for X). All said and done, I do not believe it should ever be so. In my candid opinion, I think if two parties agree to exercise the body then it should be an activity that benefits both, there are some exemptions to this rule (you figure them out), but with those exemptions aside, I think it’s only fair that a meeting should end with both parties absolutely flushed and satisfied with the conference.

A lot of women assume that satisfaction is a one way street, easily achieved by men, who have peanut sized brains and are excited by mere sight. Most women assume that riding that horse is all it takes to get a man off, most lay down waiting like grass to be cut, have zero style, give sloppy jo’s that reek of the dark ages, have no imagination and where they do have are too scared to show off, on the assumption they be thought of as prostitutes.  They attend but like office furnishings contribute absolutely nothing to the meeting. Most times, the guy only finishes the job ‘cause of the unwritten, age old, male code of ethics, which states ‘’thou shalt never let a knowing go to waste” This thankfully isn’t always the case. There is sometimes that one episode that isn’t just business as usual but is beyond compare, that episode where it was all fireworks, that one that kept you wanting some more even after the 10th installment.

In the case of women, many have gone minutes, nights; even years without ever having a taste of that delightful victual called ecstasy. Having to deal with quick draw McGraw’s, wannabe porn stars, who think clocking long hours on R-rated movies gives you instant know how, or the insensitive dudes that don’t understand the complexity called woman and the art of foreplay. This is a travesty to such great symphony, and one that should be abolished.

A few of you would agree with this notion, but many of you would disagree, complaining that some people are just difficult to please, I know at first it might seem like an impossible task, but the truth is like every activity, take for instance; driving, playing the piano, lacrosse or even table soccer, where you only get better with a lot of practice, this also applies to sex. With only a mastering of the art will you be able to confidently quote the phrase, ‘’ I came, I saw and I conquered’’.

Now a common misconception amongst many individuals is the assumption that a wide array of skills and positional techniques instantly gives you expert status, this isn’t always so. With great skills come greater responsibilities, because, of what use is a handyman with all the right tools who can’t, to save his own life fix a faulty faucet, absolutely none. Now don’t get me wrong, acquiring these skills will definitely keep things spicy especially when used efficiently, but if the end result remains the same, it will amount to nought.

Generally we all need to dig deep, be more considerate and keep the selfishness out of the bedroom; it’ll make for a more pleasurable and most importantly satisfactory activity that we all can’t live without (papals and nuns excluded)

Ladies and my brothers at large, I hereby leave you with this final thought, a good master always leaves his students satisfied and wanting for more.

360Disclaimer: This write-up was not written by our featured writer Datboy_NOT, though cached under his page. Datboy having not experienced such carnal pleasures, saving himself solely for marriage, stole this piece from his twin Nutty NOT.

datboy_NOT

datboy_NOT

Who am I? Simply put I’m N.O.T or simpler still NUTS. I love life - the ups, the downs, the merry go rounds, but most of all I love that babe that carried me for nine months ... She’s my inspiration, my role model. I can kill for music & I’ve seen enough movies to tell u the end; I love women & hanging out especially with my peoples. On that note enjoy my articles; sometimes it’ll be funny, sometimes long & annoying but most times it’ll just be nutty.

8 comments

  1. “Generally we all need to dig deep” when i read this part,i just remembered that Kanu ad with Peak milk…lmao

  2. @dee mist…yeah rite
    @deevagal…u cnt handle nutty
    @oma…I am a twin….taiwo actually..
    @AsmilingHat….thanks….Kpanshing
    @chingy ling…lo bad ju
    @maybach…pt noted
    @mike…lmao

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