DESPERATE BROTHER

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There are many fishes in the ocean but I wonder why some guys chase desperately after one particular fish. No matter the reason, there’s no need to fawn over one babe when there are thousands of them. In the long run, desperate guys end up being the topic of discussion among the babes (you really don’t want to know the MO of such discussions). Guys, once you notice a babe isn’t interested in you move on.

I attend a growing church with a small population of brethren. At this stage of the church, you rarely find the extraordinarily, fearfully and wonderfully made sisters (they prefer the bigger churches). And am not saying that the sisters presently attending the church aren’t fearfully and wonderfully made. Unlike most some guys, who attend church to hook up with babes, I look forward to divine visitation.

However, as God will have it, the steps of these beautiful creatures are directed to our modest assembly once in a while. I’m an usher in my church and it’s my duty to welcome children of God into the presence of their father. Six months ago, I welcomed a fearfully and honestly wonderfully made sister into church and immediately my ‘worldly mind’ began to create certain images I had to bind and loose. However, after the service, I planned on how to come up with a spiritual parole without including ‘the Lord says’ or ‘I had a dream'(why do you need to involve God in parole? Smh) the next I spotted her amongst the brethren.

Then next Sunday arrives and I welcome her and a young man into church only to find out after the service that the guy was her fiancé. With this new piece of info, I couldn’t execute my spiritual parole. I decided to quit the parole and forge ahead ‘cos I knew there were other fearfully and wonderfully made sisters in the community of the saints.

Some weeks after my ‘spiritual encounter’, I witnessed desperation in action. I was standing outside the church when I sighted this beautiful sister afar off in nicely sewn traditional attire. All I could do was smile and wait to welcome her to her Father’s house were old things became new and fresh an but before she could make it to the church gate, she was accosted by a guy in a black Honda. He tried to initiate a conversation but she just kept walking- ignoring this gentleman. When she got to the gate of the church, the guy zoomed off but I understood perfectly what transpired between them.

In exactly 15 minutes to the end of service, a black Honda parked outside the church and the guy in the car beckoned on me. I thought he was lost and needed directions so I approached him. On getting to the car, the next thing I heard was “Bros, how far? Sey you sabi one dark babe for your church?”

“Dark babe? In this church, it’s possible. How can I help you?” I replied. He then described her outfit then I knew he was the guy I saw earlier.

He asked me to give her his number but I told him that it wasn’t my duty. I advised him to wait till the end of service since he claimed she knew him and I should help a brother out. I gave him a sheet of paper to write his number down only to realise he was writing an epistle. He handed back the sheet of paper and as an usher only allowed to transport holy material on Sundays  I read the note and it baffled me “Hello beautiful, my name is Kunle, I really like you and I would love you to call me, here’s my number….” then I said “Bros, I thought you only wanted write down your number” but he beseeched me to deliver it.

 

A spiritual messenger now became a messenger of parole. After the service, I gave her the note; she read it, hissed and threw it in the dustbin. 30 minutes later, he passed by the church and parked when he saw me. He asked if I delivered his message, I said yes. He asked of her reaction, what could I say, I said she had no reaction.

When he left the church, I wondered why some guys aspire to become objects of ridicule. This wasn’t the only babe in the world na, why bother tracking her down, 3 times in one day, when the damsel had shown no interest.

Desperation sure does make us do SOME crazy things. Know your worth.

 

 

 

Abido

Abido

Regular guy with countless thots going thru his mind. Simple, jovial, easy-going always wondering why things are what they are. I’m different things 2 a lot of people -a son 2 few, a brother to sum, a friend 2 many n enemy 2 none(frm my angle). Believes in God. A realist always trying 2b objective*a difficult human trait*, however I’m simply just ME (no definition 4 that).

9 comments

  1. Hhahahaha i enjoyed this
    3 yrs ago i followed a girl to church and today i still worship there.
    Funny thing the girl and you the usher did not try to invite him in for the service.

  2. Mike thank you for that wonderful observation…..d usher just dey vex becos himself nor fit carry out hin mission…ow e take know if d babe nor store d number for head before she throw paper inside dustbin….nor b babe….and mr usher….wen it comes to matters of the heart…dere is no due process-“all is fair in love and war”

  3. @chidinma…tanx
    @pearl…yes it does
    @chic…tanx
    @mike…it skipped my mind to evangelise
    @Ogbeni dayo…point taken

  4. amazing what happens in church? see what someone who is supposed to be doing God’s work is writting. and u delivered the letter.?? smh… hypocrites everywhere.

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