No BS: My First Kiss

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I’m writing this with the hope that a part of it will make sense at the end of the day but if it ends up making no sense, please forgive me.

While waiting for Sola & Oye to tidy up the facelift, random thoughts kept crossing my mind and for some reason I started thinking about my first kiss. I know some people reading this had their first kiss planned while some of you cannot even remember their first kiss. Talking about kisses, I’m still trying to understand the logic behind “I’ll rather sleep with you than kiss you” as preached by some ladies. I can understand your first kiss but not that it would be easier to get wet, smash Okafor and very difficult to exchange less than a teaspoon of saliva with him. Some say ‘kissing is very emotional’ and sex isn’t??

Anyways, let’s get back to rambling about my first kiss and how special it was. Growing up was an endless party featuring a long list of house helps and Edom played the lead role. I can’t remember the entire house helps by name but Edom’s name will forever be etched in my memory as the young girl with boobs the size of pawpaw cultivated in a very fertile land in Umuomaku. Each house help came, stayed for a while and left but Edom stayed the longest.

I didn’t know much about boobs then but most men in my neighbourhood had special interest in Edom but instead of returning same to them, Edom was very interested in me.

It all started a certain night, I was sleeping in the living room when Edom came to wake me so she could take me back to my room but when she realised that we were the only people in the living room, Edom brought her boobs, put it in my mouth and asked me to suck on them one after the other. I didn’t see anything wrong in that so it continued and with the promise of biscuit treats (Not Hob Nobs) and Fanta it became an almost every day affair. Edom used my mouth on her boobs so much that I used to dream of them boobs at night. I didn’t complain to anybody because in my young eyes I didn’t see anything wrong with it and I also did not want to stop the flow of the extra biscuits and Fanta.

Please before I digress any further, this is a story about my first kiss and not boobs.


Where did I stop again?

Ehen. So in some cases, I will purposely stay back in the living room so that Edom can come get me and give the usual dose of boobs before taking me to my room to sleep. Everything was special until one weekend when my parents travelled to Umuomaku and left us in the care of Edom. Unlike other days, Edom asked my younger ones to go to bed early and when she returned from putting my younger ones to bed. She said we were going to try something totally different.

That night, instead of asking me to suck on her, she asked me to use my fingers to twist her nipples like a knob and that was when it happened. Edom, grabbed me by my head and stuck her entire tongue down my throat. Looking back now, it wasn’t the best first kiss but it was my first kiss.

I know you are wondering if we stopped at kissing, well, someday I’ll share my first time. Feel free to share your first time with us in the comment box.

Noble Igwe

Noble Igwe

Nobs is a SLU…shh trust fund kid who works just to exercise his body and mind. He’s “Unruly” but as calm as the “ABE” boys. Referred to as FYI (Fly, Young and Igbo) by his friends, Nobs says iT tHe wAy iT iS. Follow him on Twitter @nobsdaslushhkid Enough of the English language……..My name is Noble Igwe,go figure!


  1. Had my first kiss in the pool.. Though i couldn’t differentiate between the saliva and the water.. But it was bless…. 🙂

  2. My opinion… First kisses suck. Cos most times there is always an awkwardness. Cant remember my very first kiss.

  3. Am I the only one that seems bothered that Edom was probably a pedophile?!?!?!! What is “strong” with you people?!?! And you, Nobs, should come for counseling… which I can offer.. 😉

  4. My first kiss was at 22 . extremely late.. it also happens to be my best kiss till date.. it was all sorts of romantic…

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