Looking back to when I used to have enough time to write on Sunday and now, I miss the old me. Now I post late and you people don’t like it. Guess what? I’m going on Vacation soon and maybe I will have enough time to post in time. Talking about enough time, nothing beats a night of Ofe Azundu and Akpu.
Yes I said it.
On a more serious note, we are really grateful for the love and support that you’ve shown and more importantly for nominating us. May God continue to bless you and yours. Please click here http://nigerianblogawards.com/vote.php to vote us in the different categories that we have been nominated.
So my boys and I are planking everyday. I’ll be sharing pics on memoirs
Here’s Ebuka Planking
For more detailed information on Planking click http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lying_down_game
Friday May 20,2011.
So there I was standing beside a TALLER man, who drives a RANGE ROVER and who was probably in love with the babe I was thinking of making the mother of my children. There was no way I was going to let Iti steal her from me, well not without putting up a fight. I tried to convince myself that Zoba did not seem like a materialistic person. I mean she’s from a rich home and would likely go with the man with a bright future – ME. But then, there are no very few women out there who are willing to pitch their tent with a “starter”. You may not admit it but the days of “We can start life in your BQ apartment” are far-gone and are now replaced with “It’s better to cry in a RANGE ROVER than on a bike”. I know some of you may be thinking that I’m preaching modest beginnings because of Iti’s RR, you are wrong… but not totally wrong.
He popped the trunk and neatly packed on the right side were two clean LV travel bags.
I hate when people find it difficult to read body language. I was not in the mood for small talk and especially not with him. We were there to get Zoba’s things and not for any heart to heart.
Chidi: Zoba said you guys were childhood sweethearts
Nobs: We grew up in the same neighbourhood
Chidi; Oh in Aba?
Chidi: She said too many good things about you
I was tempted to ask him “such as” but that would have prolonged the discussion and I was in no mood to discuss anything long with Iti. I know his type and what they can do. He may want to start treating me like Zoba’s younger brother and that may include suggestions such as paying for my drinks and so on. I remembered once that some girl I was smashing introduced me to her Sugar daddy as her class rep. Dude drove us to the Galleria, gave us money for the movie and also gave me some money for transport with the following last words. “ I’m really pleased to meet you. She told me good things about you and how you’ve been helping her with her class work” I was so pissed that I almost shouted “Oga, I do not know the colour of any of her text books unless “class work” is the new name for ‘panties’” . The sugar daddy left us but his body odour did not. His body odour smelt like a dirty towel that has been soaked for 6 days under a bed.
So I was not in the mood for such a speech.
His phone rang.
Chidi: Aunty, we just got to her hotel. Eh? She’s inside now. I’m getting her things from the car.
I could not wait to listen to the rest of the conversation because it was obvious he was speaking to Zoba’s mum and that means that whatever they were having was official. There I was thinking that I was not only going to burn his cable but the factory that manufactures his cable. I was already planning to tell her that I once saw a woman threatening to throw the girl sleeping with her husband off the 4Points balcony but such a story would be unnecessary because there was no way Zoba’s mum was going to let her date a married man.
So Chidi was not only tall and richer, going by the phone call, he had also been approved by Zoba’s mum.
I know this may come off somehow but at that point I was no longer interested in playing “I could be a better man’, so I gave in and allowed Chidi to play his role as boyfriend and he played it well.
At the reception, Zoba tried introducing us
Zoba: Buzor,meet chidi my…
And he cuts in
Chidi: We have already done introductions.
Iti wouldn’t just shut up and it was obvious he wouldn’t let me enjoy even a minute’s attention and I was no longer finding it funny
Immediately we got to her room. He put the bags inside the wardrobe, opened the bathrooms to check what he did not put there. Trust me, I was not beefing but dude was over doing the boyfriend stuff. And as if that was not enough, he then asked what we would like to have for lunch?
Zoba: Buzor, what do you suggest?
Nobs: It depends. I don’t know how much African food that you’ve had but if you need something Nigerian, I’ll suggest Jevenik.
Chidi: I don’t think she will like Jevenik. It’s usually for people who eat a lot and I think they cook with White maggi. You have to be careful with the food you eat here in Lagos because of food poisoning. I will suggest we order the plantain and snail here. It’s really good and filling.
Zoba: Buzor, is that any good?
Nobs: That’s good too.
Zoba: Chidi, I’m suspecting you ooo. You have not even stayed that long in Nigeria since you moved back and you already know all the restaurants and the type of seasoning they use.
Chidi: Biko, afom dim nkpa but none of them can even compare to your cooking.
That was it. I couldn’t handle it anymore and Iti was out for me but then I was wondering why he was putting Zoba up in a hotel when he was supposed to be one of the “I just got back” peeps but then Zoba paid. It was an evening of total confusion with Iti having the upper hand.
Zoba: Do we order to the room and should we go down to the restaurant, Nobs?
Chidi: Restaurant will be better. I don’t like the smell of food in rooms.
Zoba : I’m really tired, Nna. Let’s order room service
Nobs: I’m okay with any suggestion.
Zoba : Okay, let’s go down and eat then.
We went down to the restaurant
Zoba: Nobs, your mum said you play in entertainment, what area?
Chidi: Ah I don’t know any of your songs.
Nobs: It’s because they only play my songs at Jevenik restaurant.
Zoba: Really? You sing? She didn’t mention
Nobs: I don’t, actually. I only play in that field.
Chidi: What area? I have friends in the entertainment. Do you know Goldie?
Nobs: No, Is she new?
Chidi: No, she’s been there for a while. What exactly do you do?
By that time, I’d had it and was about to go all rude on him when she walked in.
Biola walked into the restaurant with Amala following her behind as if I was not having a bad day already.
Chidi: Oh boy, nna. You just dey enjoy this town alone with your madam.
Amala: It’s not like that
Biola: Hey Nobs
Chidi: Oh you know each other.
That was it.
Iti, Amala and Biola on the same table? I don’t go to church every Sunday but I prayed and asked God to deliver me.