It’s 02:32am Monday June 6, 2011 and I just pulled out aMACa to write memoirs of a SLU…shhkid. I went out with the boys for a bit and only just got home. Sometimes, when I get really tired and feeling very lazy to write, to gain motivation, I think about all of you that come here every Monday to read, leave comments and still introduce some other people to 360nobs.com.
You are my inspiration and I feel blessed sharing the events of my life with you all.
First off, I’m glad that most of you love like the new site. Thank you for the kind words. We really appreciate the feedback and will continue to improve on 360nobs to serve you better. Please share your comments and feedback with us at http://www.facebook.com/360nobs (don’t forget to like us too)
On a more serious note, I hope you all are getting ready for one of the biggest weekends in 2011:
8:00pm, Saturday, June 11, 2011 – The only fashion exposure party – The Davidbowler Exposure at De Marquee, Lagos. Email firstname.lastname@example.org to RSVP
7:00pm, Sunday, June 12, 2011 – The launch of one of the most anticipated 2011 albums, come holla@yourbwoi – Wizkid, The Superst*r at the Expo Hall, Eko Hotel & Suites, Lagos
Ticket Prices: Regular -N 5,000.00; VIP – N 25,000.00; Tables – N 350,000.00. Tickets Sold at: Koko Lounge, Eko Hotel, Ozone Cinemas, Images and Prints.
I also hope you’ve all seen the pictures from the DE MARQUEE LIVE WITH WAJE & TIWA SAVAGE, no? Click here
Remember you can always get updates on everything happening on 360nobs by adding 220B8ECC and you may be lucky to chat with your favourite contributors.
Back to the reason why we are here.
Sunday May 15,2011.
On sighting Biola, I wanted to totally ignore her and move on, but on the other hand I didn’t want her to go home feeling like she could go on treating me like shit. I took Shirls to the table, sat her down with her back to Biola because I didn’t want her to see who it was and that would destroy everything I’m trying to code here.
I looked around for someone that I knew that would be able to pull me out just in case Biola and her MAN friend decide to beat me up. I know some of you may be wondering why look around for someone you know. Please why not look around?
This is how it’s done (even though I’m a lover not a fighter). If you really want to win a fight, plan with a friend and make the first move. Slap or hit someone and then the person will step in to separate the fight but by then you would have achieved the result of “first to throw blow” therefore positioning you as “ready to fight” .
When I didn’t see anybody, I decided to measure up the dude first. Without trying to hate, I think the guy looks like a badly prepared Amala wearing baggy jeans and spotting a beard unevenly distributed on his chin. I didn’t know Biola was into big boys or maybe I was just her plaything and not her spec. Anyway, dude could beat me without asking God for help and at that moment I ruled out anything that had to do with a fight. I know women love to see guys fight for them but in some cases, I think it’s advisable not to put someone in such a position.
So I excused myself and walked up to them
Nobs: Hey Biola
Nobs: (Extending my hands to her man) Hey my name is Chibuzor. (Trust me, I decided to introduce myself as Chibuzor just in case he was the same person that picked the call the night before)
Nobs: Nice to meet you.
David: Same here
Nobs: Biola can I talk to you for a minute?
Biola: We are already on our way out.
David: Biola, I can wait.
There I was thinking, “Biola thinks a minute with me is now a biggie?” I’m not trying to evaluate what I had done for her or what we had been through but I was totally disappointed that after what she did the night before she was not even trying to use her brain, the one in her head.
On some occasions, I have ‘fashied’ Shirls just to spend some time with Biola and now because of her Amala in baggy jeans, she wouldn’t give me the time of day.
I was so belittled and was unsure if there was any need for me to push for a private time with her. At that point, I hated the month MAY and even romanced the idea that Ada may be behind it considering the fact that I didn’t really treat her well in her mind. So there I was thinking maybe Ada had her bath naked and prayed for me not to have luck with any of my Lagos girls.
Biola: Ok Dave, I’ll be out in a bit.
We moved away
Nobs: I called you last night.
Biola: I saw your missed call this morning and I didn’t have credit to call back.
Nobs: You can represent Nigeria.
Nobs: for lying at the Olympics.
Biola: How did I lie to you?
I really wanted to be mad at her but her boobs kept distracting me. She had a transparent top on and I could see the whole nine yards of her baby’s food.
Nobs: I heard you last night asking some man to tell me that you were asleep.
Biola: Nobs, cut the bullshit. I don’t f*cking owe you anything! Yes, I was with Dave and I didn’t want him suspecting anything. I have known you for how long now? Ask yourself, what is Biola to me? Am I just another character to grace the pages of your memoirs while you go about singing praises about how much love you have for your Slim?
Nobs: I thought we were trying to get a bit serious?
Biola: Serious? Do you get serious? I have been with you. I have even tried to play iyawo just to make you happy but what do I get in return – horrible lines in your online diary.
Nobs: So David is the man?
Biola: Well, at least he does not have any diary and not interested in a slim lawyer.
Nobs: Slim is just a friend
Biola: And you are always go on and on about her? Look at you, you walked in with a lady not expecting to see me here, yet you accuse me of ignoring your call.
Nobs: She’s just a friend
Biola: Oh shattap!
Lord have mercy! It then dawned on me, Biola was really over me and didn’t give a shit about my feelings anymore but then instead of feeling bad, I was getting more attracted to her. That got me thinking of that time that she cooked for me. Could it be that she did put something in it but if she did, there was no way I could be suspecting her. I mean, judging by Nollywood standard, you are not meant to know who jazzed you under the influence of jazz.
Nobs: We are keeping David waiting, can you come later tonight?
Biola: So you can have something to post tomorrow!
Nobs: Why so rude though?
Biola: Nobs, what do you really want?
Nobs: A future with you
That did it. She kept quiet for a while and then
Biola: I will call you later.
Nobs: Will you come?
Biola: No, Nobs. Dav is in the country for two weeks and wants to spend the entire two weeks with me.
Nobs: Please call
Biola: I will call you. Where did you pick the thing with you?
Nobs: In the same shop you bought your Amala.
Biola: I don’t get
I walked back to my table and for a moment, I appreciated the beauty that is Shirls.
Shirls: You took a while.
Nobs: Biz, hun.
We placed our order and while we were waiting I overheard the conversation going on at a table close by.
2 ladies were discussing the issue of a vibrator.
Lady 1: “I think I have a problem, I can never come with a d**k inside of me. It just has to be a vibrator and I think my new boyfriend feels cheated”
Lady 2: Really ? Why? He does not last long?
Lady 1: No, he does, I think it’s just my body
On a serious note tho, are there people out there who find it difficult to come with a d**k inside of them?
Anyways, our food came, we settled down to eat the food and then we went onto discuss the ways that I have wronged her in the past and what I could have done better. I apologised and promised to be a better person.
On our way out, I ordered for a cup of ice cream take away.
Shirls: I thought you are off Ice cream
Nobs: Yes having just ice cream but not eating off your body.
Shirls: You will never change.
Nobs: Not with you on the menu
Shirls: So what next?
Nobs: Ice cream, my house and then whatever you want .
We got to the house and Chaa was on her way out .
Chaa: Thank God you are back
Chaa: I need your car.
Nobs: Ok but I may need it later tho
I think Chaa thinks we both own my car and it’s her right to use it anytime.
Back in the room, I begged Shirls to play my best bedroom game.
Shirls undressed and was just wearing her black bra and panties with her heels.
Rude Boy was playing and she was doing all that seductive moves. She kept dancing while I sat on the bed watching. She stood in front of me backing me and then bent over. The sight made my heart miss several beats. Believe me, you may be eating one type of dish everyday but if presented in a different way, the dish will appear totally different and new.
She went down on all fours and spoke for the first time.
Shirls: Go ahead, eat me with 3 drops of ice cream.
I moved on with my teeth to remove the panties, being careful not to tear it but at the same time eager to take if off.
Turned her over and lifting her legs high and parting them, I went all in for the panties, took it off and dropped it on the floor.
I grabbed my phone, took a pic….
and just as I was about to drop the phone back, it rang…
Biola: I hope you are home, I’m almost at yours.
I went blank and so did my erection…