Memoirs Of A SLU…shhkid : Wk 49

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Saturday May 14,2011

What a night

It got me thinking

I was hurt by Biola’s choice of words. I know that she does not owe me anything but I thought we had something going on. She said she was going to change for me and be the one for me but she didn’t think twice before calling another “baby” or asking him to tell me that she is asleep.

Looking back on how we met and the things we’ve been through, that was quite sad.

I never said this but I gradually parted ways with Shirls because of Biola. She made it clear that she didn’t like Shirls. I guess the cooking and other things were all done just to fool me.

I was beginning to consider going all “we are in a relationship” with Biola but after what I heard on the phone I knew there was no way “WE” were going to happen.


I think I was heart broken and when I couldn’t take the pain anymore; I drove to De Marquee to chill a bit. So I decided to call the only person that makes me feel better at time like this

Slim : Hey Nobs,what’s up?

Nobs : I’m good

Slim: Are you okay, love?

Nobs: Not really

Slim: What’s wrong?

Nobs: I don’t feel good, can you come?

Slim : Nobs, I’m home but if it is that serious I can drive out.

Nobs ; Not to worry, boo

Slim : Is your sister okay?

Nobs : Yes, she is. Thank you

Slim : Have you eaten?

Nobs: I ate in the afternoon.

Slim : What’s the matter then?

Nobs : Nothing serious jor.

Slim : You know you can always talk to me?

Nobs : I know

Slim : Okay. Let me know if you need anything.

Nobs : may be Ghana high

Slim : That would be on Monday na

Nobs : Oh okay. I’ll talk to you tomorrow

Slim: Good night, Nobs. Please try and go home on time.

Believe me, Slim has a way of making me feel better and that is one of the reason why I do not wish to take the relationship a notch higher because I’m afraid that a relationship may bring in the ‘see finish’ factor and I may no longer feel this way. I couldn’t even bring myself to tell her what was wrong and she has warned me in the past not to discuss as she puts it “memoirs girls” with her. Now she will read it here. Slim, I’m expecting the call to bash me.

When I got off the phone with Slim, I called Shirls, not because of anything but I wanted to sleep peacefully so I thought I might have to come real.

Shilrs : Nobs, good evening

Nobs : hey baby. How are you?

Shirls : I’m good

Nobs : I just called to say sorry for all the times that I may have lied to you that you had to find out the truth on my dairy . I hope I didn’t hurt you so much.

Shirls : Nobs, it’s okay. I have accepted you for who you are  and I have come to love you just the way you are.

Nobs : I love you,Shirls

Shirls: I love you, Nobs

Nobs : I wish you were here with me.

Shirls : Nobs, is this a booty call?

Nobs : Not at all.

Shirls : Lunch tomorrow?

Nobs : Why not. Call me after church service.

Shirls : Okay

I was happy that I made peace with Shirls and was looking forward to our lunch date. I got home and was waiting for Biola to call and pretend that she didn’t know I called but I did not get even an sms from her. Instead of getting really angry, I started making excuses for her. I thought maybe the dude deleted my number after the call but when I checked my BBM, we were still friends. It then dawned on me, Biola was over me.

Sunday May 15,2011.


I was sleeping when the phone rang, believe me I knew Biola was going to call, so  I didn’t even look at it, I picked and said

Nobs: What?

Mum: Gini?

Nobs : Good morning, Ma

Mum ; Ijekwara uka?

Nobs : Mba

Mum : Why?

Nobs : I went out last night and woke up late this morning.

Mum : And when was the last time you went for vigil

Nobs : Last year

Mum : Ihari biko n’uka

Nobs : No ma

Mum ; So Chizoba Agu is asking for your number.

Nobs : Is she back in Nigeria

Mum : She came to the house on Saturday with the mother and she said she would be visiting Lagos soon.

Nobs : Is she the new Ada?

Mum : Taa meche onu. You don’t have to give her.

Nobs : You can give her.

Mum: She asked for your pin but I told her that I don’t do this blackberry thing with  you people.

Nobs ; Just give her the number, Ma.

Mum ; She’s even prettier now

Nobs ; I was expecting that too.

Mum ; Chibuzor, gawa kwa uka

Nobs ; Yes ma.

Sometimes I think my mother was a bishop in her first life. She does not play with anything that has to do with the Anglican Church.

However, Chizoba Agu was the issh. We grew up in the same neighbourhood. She grew boobs before her mate and that got her noticed by ‘bigger boys’. She made it obvious to us that she was strictly into big boys and that broke my heart.

She moved to Owerri for her secondary school education and from there travelled to Scotland for College. We never kept in touch, she was just one of those hot chics and I never thought she would ever ask for my number.


Some Sundays are just dry but I guess the aftermath was still fresh on my mind. I was still thinking of who to settle down with when the BBM came in.

Jenny : I’m so sorry about last night

Nobs : It’s all good

Jenny : Where are you ?

Nobs ; Home

Jenny : Alone?

Nobs : With aMACa

Jenny : Oh sorry. Maybe I”ll buzz you later

Nobs : aMACa is my laptop

Jenny ; Oh you got me there

Nobs : So what’s up?

Jenny : Are we seeing today ?

I thought hard about it and decided that someone has to pay for what they put me through .

Nobs : Where are you now?

Jenny : Dolphin Estate

Nobs :Let me know when you are ready to come

Jenny: I’ll let you know when we are ready

Nobs: Jenny, let’s make this a you and me affair

Jenny: I hope Kim won’t mind. Like think I went behind her back.

Nobs: I will let her know that I invited you and no, Kim & I are not exclusive.

Jenny: Oh okay. Please I don’t want issues with my friend.

Nobs: I’ll handle that.

I thought about hitting up Kim to inform her that I would be hooking up with Jenny but decided not to because I wasn’t sure if she would approve.


Shirls called as agreed and we decided to meet up at Ice Cream factory. She was glad that I was doing it for her considering that I had been off Ice cream for sometime.

When I got to ICF, she was waiting for me in a cab. Immediately we walked in, we saw Biola standing by the till with a man.

Shirls didn’t know who it was and Biola pretended she didn’t know me from Adam.

I couldn’t take it and I did what no one expected me to do…


Noble Igwe

Noble Igwe

Nobs is a SLU…shh trust fund kid who works just to exercise his body and mind. He’s “Unruly” but as calm as the “ABE” boys. Referred to as FYI (Fly, Young and Igbo) by his friends, Nobs says iT tHe wAy iT iS. Follow him on Twitter @nobsdaslushhkid Enough of the English language……..My name is Noble Igwe,go figure!


  1. I love the new’s new look!
    Youngman, you don’t love Biola you’re just mad that she didn’t jump to your call,please let the babe go and marry she’s old enough,biko! And yes,you approached her and accused her of pretending to be asleep,you are in for a show of shame. Looking forward to next week’s memoirs and please be punctual!

  2. Hmmm,

    Nobs this thing is really getting to you oh…

    I can feel the heaviness abi sadness abi downess in it…

    I think you know what you want but are afraid that when you get what you want you may ruin it and may not get that opportunity again

    That’s my own 2kobo on the issue

    As for biola free her…she wants to move on and I’m guessing you do too…stop pulling in and out…

    I’m sure you’ll be fine…
    ngwa jisike….

    But hey cheer up…

  3. I could sense the sadness in this memoir. My guess is its either u really like her or u can’t believe the rejection cos it’s ur first. O well, can’t wait to know what happened.

  4. Dude, u’re heartbroken??? Pls… You got served and now you’re hurting, its funny how u juggle all these babes, brag about it and expect them to just siddon look. She probably also thought you guys had a thing till you went and screwed her friend and then blogged about it. Two can play that game.

    1. Exactly I was thinking the same thing what exactly are you mourning over? You’re having ice cream with shirls and a rendezvous with jeny later

  5. Can we just have this in a book or something,the suspence is killing me. Cant wait to find out wat Nobs did. But am guessing…he threw a tantrum,ar maybe shed afew tears or…guess I have to wait to find out.

  6. the new 360nobs outlook is super cool! and the suspense at the end of this week’s memoir is super hot! Can’t wait to get d rest of d gist. Have a great week

  7. Wow!Sometimes,Nobs,ur life just seems like it was cut from a Nollywood movie.LOOL.I love the new appearance for the site,its very nice!

  8. My friend just got me to start reading your memoirs…hilarious. You’re a really good story teller cause I actually felt sad for you after reading this one which is surprising cause sympathy is not what you need, listen to Slim.The path you’re on doesn’t exactly scream happy ending, you should try soul searching sometime helps you put things in perspective.

    Enough deep talk,I just hope you didn’t run out of the ice cream shop or totally ignore her too (that’ll be low)

  9. Haba! But you do this to her often. Now she’s given you a taste of your alabukun and you can’t stomach it. You’re a player, in the game all is fair. Chin up, stiffen your upper lip…
    Hope you did not rain on her parade o! No vex, no take your raggae spoil her blues

  10. @chinny diva…I am referring to the site’s new look..YES! So you’ve never heard that word used on inanimate objects? Tut tut… you should live in an encarta dictionary..maybe you will grow some brains and clearer eye sights too. I am certain twas new dress I typed not beautiful dress!

    @Lmeo… I am surprised at you. I thought fools only lived in their paradise…seems like u escaped and u r now wandering the new page!

    1. *Hands her a bag of sshhilled pure water*
      nne oya drink water inugo. Your name is village maiden not village town crier, stop crying.
      Its never that serious, there is such a thing as sarcasm..or did you by any chance miss that while buying plots of land inside the “encarta dictionary” estate?

      As for brains…I want to believe you aren’t that dumb as to bring brains into this matter, I’ll flush you. Btw, its ‘eye sight’ not sights…maybe you should relocate to Webster.

  11. Ohhhhhhhhhh,i dnt like dis suspense joo,i cnt wait to read d nxt memoirs.Biola is who she is,u shudnt be suprised,free her joo.I’m eager abt chibuzor-mayb dis one ud love buh dis one luks like a mario(na ur place be her last junction).ur nu look is fab,thumbs up

  12. Biola ȋ̝̊̅ڪ obviously over you, i suggest you do the same nd move on wiv U̶̲̥̅̊Я̲̅ life! Slim z a gewd lady, U̶̲̥̅̊ shld hold on tew her. Lovin the nu look of 360nobs!

  13. well well nice piece sad one tho i will say it serves you right but on the other hand you guys shouldn’t
    blame the girls in question aren’t complaining they all enjoyed the time with him and had great sex now. its so unfortunate he had to fall in love with one them karma sure knows how to hit at the wrong time his only human his bounded to crack some day so yall should allow him express himself oh.tho this is a lesson his gonna learn you have to move hun she has moved on by paying you back with your own penny.oh well thats life and that karma also doing its job and this is a game you have to keep on playing and hit jackpot by just keeping to one girl.

  14. @Nobs its obvious u’r heartbroken…the story is too dull n full of phone conversations ….try and shake off this ill feelings so it doesn’t affect d content of memoirs…u weren’t serious with any of dese girls so I don’t see why u shud be hurting cos Biola found herself a man…no one is going to sit around and wait for you to conquer all the ikebe in lagos and then come back….so I suggest u hang out wit the ABE boys get high,find some new Keles to shag n spice up memoirs and then u’l get ur groove back….but if dis doesn’t work it means 1 thing…the time for u to marry has arrived…peace
    @ village maiden…lol..way to go girl…..u be killing Em

  15. All dis sadness in ur writn just cos u didn’t get u now eat,breathe n worship sex! *sigh* so payback hurts u eh?? Ntoi Bet u walked up to biola.hope she snobs u real good.hehehehe. Neway d site looks good!

  16. @chinny diva…Flush me? I am guessing into the suckaway where you hide your brains…n from the look of things, where u get inspiration for your sarcastic remarks too- thanks for that generous offer. I will pass.
    Thank you for the ‘sights’ correction…now I guess tis my turn to return the favour…there is a difference between its and it’s..I think u wanted to use it’s(No! Don’t thank me)

    1. @ I think you should take a chill pill maiden. Its clear chiny diva meant no harm. Wheres your sense of humour this morning? (borrowing micheal johnsons trainers to pick race before you turn the venom on me)

      @Nobs this comments is cracking me more than your memiors. you shuld pay this two.

  17. ah ahn! peolple were born angry o! ogaju! LOL! me i no dey read dictionary sha so i no know saaay dem dey call inanimate objects ‘dress’…oh wait! like when we ”dress” salad and tings, that kind of dress? oh seeeen…LOL

  18. @ village maiden n chinnydiva… I’m having a blast here! And keeping scores too…. Village maiden 2- chinnydiva 1.

    chinnydiva i fink u shld let it go before you get flushed…

    *running away*

  19. Nobs,for real gurls dey fight for your head and even for your website them still dey fight…hehehehe.Meanwhile,i like the fact that you’re thinking the way you are right now,it means soon Memoirs is going to end.Nice one,and for the feedback,i liked the old design better…it portrayed an entertainment site,while this new design feels too corporate like the one that’ll be appreciated by an oil company or something.

  20. @I know…*grin* my sense of humour just strolled in…it took a hike lastnight
    @Lmeo…me sef no d read dictionary…but I see red yesterday, becoz una two comment just follow each oda. I hate to b d butt of any joke…Well done o!
    @Chinny diva. I’m sorry I forgot to say thanks for that sshilled water. It was therapeutic…can’t have u accusing me of being ill-mannered too.
    @mostluvdogs…no need to run away…someone suggested I take a chill pill-i just did; aspirins and iceblocks

  21. No matter How bad nobs may act at times I still like him for who he is…and thats just because he never tries to make excuses for himself.

  22. Leave nobs o, even hugh hefner felt bad wen his 3gfs were lEaving him. Nobs is only human n no one likes rejectn. I hp u didn’t cause a scene with biola n her man tho.

  23. hehehehe! y’all be crackn me up oo! @chinnydiva and @village maiden are at it. feels like u ladies know each other from somewhere other than this page……*now running away before both of you face me* hehehehehe

  24. …,Nobz and his leading ladies, seems some1 doesn’t like the feeling o’ rejection…chai but na wa for drama o!! Lmfao

  25. S.M.H…Ladies we got hearts too u @ suum point u see a guy having issues of the heart..!!He’ll cuum arnd @ sum point

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