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Femi is a good friend of mine who believes double dating is fun. While he doesn’t support polygamy because he considers marriage a sacred contract, dating is a casual affair therefore the commitment level is very low.

Femi wasn’t always like this; he had been hurt in the past by the one girl that held his heart, and I suspect still holds a part of it. She left him shattered, and I was there to help him through the phase. In time he reset and healed, but the Femi to rise from the ashes was a changed man. Only dates two chics at any given time and even dated three friends once. The former lover boy had evolved into a player – a player with a conscience.

I noticed the new Femi had developed certain qualities that aided him in pulling off this precarious act. I consider it precarious because not everyone can double date. Believe me it’s a dangerous game – sort of like walking a razor’s edge. Femi, who couldn’t conceive a convincing lie, became a revered liar. He became so glib, he’d weave a web of lies effortlessly without shooting himself in the foot.  I’ve come to realise that some girls are quite gullible and, what’s more, they love being lied to. I know because I’ve been straight with most of the chics I’ve been with and it hasn’t gotten me anywhere.

Femi had always been cool but wasn’t usually calm in highly emotional situations. His ex-girlfriend exploited this weakness and turned his life upside down. Tears were his kryptonite. At the first sign of tears, Femi’s emotions took over and usually did the thinking. She knew this and used it like a Lex Luthor. Whenever she was wrong or did something wrong she’ll flare up and Femi, not knowing how to react, will begin to pacify her; for the fear of losing her troubled him.

With the departure of this girl from his life, Femi developed a calm and level headed disposition towards women. Even if a babe were to cry blood, the new Femi will remain calm and objective while carrying out his (usually rational) decision. This new quality helped him deal with crazy situations in his life especially when chics found out they were being played. This calmness and suspected unpredictability threw them, so babes usually behaved themselves.

Femi picks his babes carefully. He realised the psychological mindset of chics was an important aspect of the double dating process. A good knowledge of their temperaments helped him pre-determine how the relationship will pan out, and the safety (or disengaging) measure he needs to put in place in order to remove himself when things went south.

He would say “You can’t treat every girl the same”. He never dated over-pampered chics, or desperate babes. They were too ‘needy’ and ‘clingy’. Neither did he date ‘spiri kokos’ nor dewey-eyed babes. These were too deluded.

The combination of these 3 qualities enables him to double date at will and with a remarkable peace of mind. For Femi, double dating is likened to a game of chess. “You must be two steps ahead of your partners; You must be a pre-emptive player and not a reactionary one; and You must be able to identify impending problems and side step or resolve them.” He would say.

It’s clear that double dating isn’t for the faint hearted.

Note: If you’re a bad liar and can’t think on your feet, and you date every Tina, Dupe and Halima, or Thomas, Dotun and Hafiz and still in the game, you might want to re-evaluate your position and quit while you’re ahead.



Regular guy with countless thots going thru his mind. Simple, jovial, easy-going always wondering why things are what they are. I’m different things 2 a lot of people -a son 2 few, a brother to sum, a friend 2 many n enemy 2 none(frm my angle). Believes in God. A realist always trying 2b objective*a difficult human trait*, however I’m simply just ME (no definition 4 that).


    1. yeah ,blame it on a heartbreak..hez a certified player abi? no wahala…one day monkey go go market,e no go come back…you dont know what it means,oya axe ur mummy.

  1. Ds felt more lyk a comprehension wiv questions @ d end dt primary schl english students read dn a blog post. No hard feelins abido. Bettr luck nxt tym.

  2. LMAO!!! Haba u guys, that was mean. U can at least look at it from a different angle. I get what this is trying to say. I’d like to meet a player for once although I think he’d be frustrated at my degree of nonchalance. I liked the article though.

  3. I couldn’t stop grinning as I read this. Firstly, it is obvious Abido is writing about himself here even though I think he is yet to truely kick into full player mode. The aticle struck a chord with me ‘cos I knew precisely where he was going with the article even though it was not well written. The first thing you see Abido is that a true player never has to explain himself – you still have issues with that Babe you need to resolve, only then can you become a player as opposed to a womanizer (which is the more common and less suave version).

    Heart-break breeds dis-illusionment with glazy emotions and some-where made you despise your lovey-dovey self. You wont exactly be a cynic, but you be puzzzled (in a detached way) about the whole “love” thing – I mean, you played by the rules and you still got burnt . You wont understand it and you wont feel it.

    So some-where along the line, you probably want to hurt a few innocents (and you might) but hopefully you would understand you are only building vicious circles. You would hurt them ‘cos you can no longer feel the way they feel about you and you want them to wake up and deal with you from a stand-point of loyalty and enjoyment only – no pillow talks. The player you have described is no more than a vengeful womanizer.

    A real player is a lover of the highest form. With him, there are no secrets, only privacy. there would be few fights ‘cos he is done with that nonsense. No jealousy, ‘cos he understands you can never really own people and in the end, their companions are their choice to make. No pettiness nor selfishness, just loyalty and a good time. A player does not exist primarily to bed women (that is just something that comes along) but to weave dreams for their inner children (?).

    Then again, I might be wrong, or am I?

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