Just as I was struggling to wake up, my phone beeped, “This relationship or what used to be is over! I’ve moved on and I suggest you do same too”…..I got up, walked straight to the bathroom, washed my face with lukewarm water. I looked in the mirror and asked “Could this be true? *Na me be this??*”. I went back to my phone, clicked on inbox…and DANG! It was true. My boyfriend had just broken up with me.
I won’t particularly say that I’m a tomboy! But one thing is for sure, I’m not a ‘girlie girl!’. My favourite colour isn’t pink! I wear more jeans than dresses. My hair, make-up, and nails, ain’t always prim and proper. I don’t always have tissue paper in my purse! I don’t even carry purses. I don’t always cross my legs while I sit! My laugh is really loud! I wouldn’t even qualify to marry an Edo prince, talk less of Prince Harry! 🙁
My dear friends, it did not start today oh! *It haff tey mehn!* I can remember in primary school! I used to form gang leader like that, and you know? Uneasy lays the head that wears the crown! So you have to be tough. And so, ma “tomboyism” began. While my friends would be made queen of green house during inter house sports, *dum dum* will be made the commandant! Rme…
But all the same, I love being a girl because of all the fun, razzle-dazzle, and hocus-pocus we enjoy aka *Girl Drama.* We get to watch them live and probably feature in some of them. Err, my favourite type of drama is the break-up drama. *rubs palms together*
I have a problem! As soon as I get into a relationship, I always envisage the end of the relationship.
I always plan the kind of drama I’d put up. If he says it to my face, I’ll look him in the eye, kick his balls and then faint! Or better still, I’d prefer it to be a rainy night! I’ll just make a swift about turn, let my 18inches Peruvian hair down, and strut down in my heels through the center of the road, and cry in the rain…Oh bliss!
Fortunately or unfortunately, when the D-day came, after I had read the text over and over again. I became an epic WEIST! I was weak instantly. I mean this was the perfect time to fulfill all my fantasy after-break up drama, to scream and drop the glass cup that I was holding, and then smash my blackberry on the floor or at least get a pair of scissors and rip my clothes apart. You know, some form of “mumu drama” sha. Guess what I did? I picked up my phone, scrolled to my twitter page and tweeted…*No more KFC, sigh*. Well, that was basically all the drama I could afford at that time. *I fucked up abi? Kai!* I guess I’m not much of a GIRL after all. Unlike some other chics I know.
Okay chic number one, after experiencing a chronic heart break, went totally Amber Rose…oh Yes! She scraped off all the visible hair on her head. Choi!! Err, I don’t think I want this kind of drama oh!
Also, chic number two, another friend of mine, that I’m slightly fatter than (I’m a size 4) decided to go totally athletic after her break-up experience. She got up the morning after, dressed up in her track suit and sneakers and off to the stadium she went. She jogged round the stadium a hundred times…we couldn’t exactly tell the sweat from the tears, and as expected, she fell sick right after. At least she put up some drama first…sexy if you ask me.
Finally, the last of the three chics, also my friend, took it really calm this time! She walked slowly to the bathroom, got naked, turned on the shower and sang gracefully…you could have mistaken it for an *Ndi’igbo* film scene …uhhh and her voice was so on point!(Now this is the reason I cant do this, I’m voiceless – not even as a back-up singer).
OKAY, I’m exhausted, any similar experience?? U can share!!
Its all about girl drama baby 😉
Written by Dumebi