Let’s agree on something; please make sure you read the rules before going further.
There’s a reason why we have the rules to go by and if you’ve been following The Memoirs of a SLU…shhkid, you’ll agree that people have been commenting with no regards to the rules. I know some people after reading my article titled ‘The Twitter Artist‘ will come here to leave comments in relation to that. Please don’t, leave memoirs for its lovers and non lovers.
In other news, I hope you are looking forward to The davidbowler Exposure party on the 11th of June 2011 at De Marquee. Make sure that you get your name on the guest list.
Monday April 25,2011.
I was totally confused and didn’t know what to do but then, did you expect me to pack condoms to a family function? I hadn’t planned on doing anything but it was my travel box so I hoped to see one from sometime ago.
I looked over at Queen, she had pulled up her dress and all I could see behind her full ‘tomato-Jos‘ body was a pink thong. Lawd have mercy, I may be wrong but I think Queen’s body could be referred to as “His temple“. I walked back to her and then she said;
Queen: We don’t have time
Nobs: Erm I couldn’t find any condoms
Queen: And we’ve been apart for too long to trust each other.
Nobs: I’ve been good
Queen: common shut up you little big-headed slut. I read your diary on your site.
Nobs: No way.
Queen: I’m not mad at you for making me this wet.
Nobs: What are you smoking? Can’t you see that I’m not thinking with my head? Well, at least not with the head connected to my neck. Queen, be nice, Prove to me that you can still blow like back in the days.
Queen : No one is getting a free pass on this. I’m so turned on too.
Nobs : So now, you are going P square on me?
Queen: How ?
Nobs: Do me, I do you.
Queen: I miss us though. I still remember us back in the days. Heard you guys broke up.
Queen: I know you still love her.
Nobs: Now & always
Queen: what are you doing later tonight?
Nobs: I don’t know yet but I can be your late hour plan.
Queen: We need to go down before your mum starts looking for you.
Nobs: I see you’ve been famzing with her.
Queen: Na you know.
Damn! I was this close to smashing Queen and I couldn’t even risk going skin on her. Few years back at some point, we stopped using condoms because we believed we could trust each other, but so much had happened in between. Believe me, if I had seen a glove (you know the type they use in hospitals), I would have cut out a piece for use.
Back to the reception, I tried to take my mind off Queen but I was too busy to make another escape to the room.
The other side of dancing so hard at a wedding is the waist pain that accompanies it. I was resting when my phone rang
Queen: Hey Nobs
Nobs: Hey Queen. What’s up?
Queen: Nobs, I got talking with Amara and I also did some serious thinking. I suggest that we forget about hooking up tonight. I really think we got carried away earlier today. If we are ever going to come back together, I want something serious. We made a lot of mistakes but we can correct them as adults.
Nobs: I’m so sorry if you think I tried taking advantage of you earlier today. I guess I still have feelings for you. I do want a relationship too but I want it to be right and not close to what we had in the past.
Queen: I’m off to my sister’s place tonight. I will text you my pin after this call.
Nobs: No good night kiss?
Queen: Nobs, we will talk.
I was not really sad, I guess we are both at that age where we should be looking for something serious but I know that Okafor would be very disappointed in me. Maybe I should have gone ‘nigga raw‘ but maybe I did the right thing.
That night I went to bed with the naked image of Queen on my mind.
Tuesday April 26,2011.
Wedding done and no movement due to the election, we spent all most the whole day in the pool.
Later in the day, I got some BBMs from Queen
Queen : Nobs,how are you?
Nobs : I’m fine oooo
Queen : What are you up to?
Nobs : I’m by the pool. What’s up?
Queen: Nothing much. I was just wondering if we could see tonight after the elections.
Nobs: Sure. Will you come to the hotel?
Queen: Yes but no sex
Nobs : Won’t force you unless you ask for it.
Queen: I won’t ask for it.
I didn’t plan on jumping Queen but just so that I wouldn’t look unprepared, I asked one of the security men to help me buy condoms.
The “no movement” was called off in other cities but we were informed that the Rivers State Government extended theirs. Queen & I had to cancel our date and the following day she left for Abuja.
Wednesday April 27,2011.
We ate breakfast as a family, my special & wonderful friend raced us to the airport
and in about 50 minutes, we were back in Lagos.
Cos we missed Segs while we were in PH,we went straight to Evergreen for lunch with Segz.
Saturday May 14,2011.
The night before was very messy and all I wanted to do was rest. I had so much to drink the night before and decided to place my self a water diet.
I woke tired and craving popcorn from the Galleria, so I decided to go get some. On my way back I got a call from Kim
Kim : Nobs, why are you going PPS on me?
Nobs : PPS kwa? What’s PPS?
Kim : Proud Pe*** syndrome.
Nobs : Me kwa?
Kim : Yes na. Anyways where are you?
Nobs : At the Galleria.why?
Kim : I want to see you.
Nobs : Where are you?
Kim : 4 Points
Nobs : What’s happening there?
Kim : Two of my girlfriends are in town and we are having fun with the boys.
Kim : can you come? I told them about you and they want to meet you
Nobs: I have a meeting but I can ex it for you
Kim : What do you want me to do?
Nobs : I don’t know
Kim : Give me a few minutes
I got into my car and was heading home when I got a new message from kim
Kim : This is my friend,Joy and she wants to meet you.
Nobs : who is she?
Kim ; Someone you will like .
Nobs : Seen
Kim : How would like being in the company of 3 naked girls?
Nobs : I like the idea but maybe 3 girls that I can trust sounds better.
Kim : They are my friends.
Nobs : Room number?
Kim : ****
Kim : Btw, I need London Menthol.
I was excited and scared at the same time. I’ve never been with 3 chics but I wasn’t sure if they would have a camera planted. I thought about it for a while but decided to go regardless considering my relationship with Kim.
I got to the room and met only two people, Kim and another lady in her underwear.
Kim : Nobs, meet Jennifer, Jennifer meet nobs.
Jenny: Nice to finally meet you.
Nobs: Nice to meet you.
Nobs : Where’s your second friend.
Kim: She‘ll be bad soon
Kim: You come here, so you’ve not missed me,abi?
Nobs; I’ve missed you
Kim: Show it
Nobs: Believe me, boo
Kim : come let me show you how much of you that I have missed.
Kim grabbed me and started kissing me, then one after the other she took off every piece of clothing on me. I didn’t try to stop her but I was also looking behind to make sure that Jenny wasn’t pointing her phone at us. Kim went on her knees and put me in her mouth. It was bliss and when I thought I had seen it all, Kim said
Kim : Jenny, come and assist me with the balls.
At that moment, everything I thought I knew about Kim changed. She was not just another girl; she was the girl ready to up her action. Jenny joined her and within minutes, I had my two hands holding two different heads both taking turns on me.
Then Jenny Spoke
Jenny : Kim,you know that I have not asked you for anything?
Kim : What do you want?
Jenny : Will you let him take me?
Kim : Not tonight
Jenny; Not just tonight? why?
Kim : maybe tomorrow
Jenny : Are we all hooking up tomorrow?
Kim ; Nobs?
Nobs : We can decide all that later.
They went back to the *ahem* and in no time we had exchanged saliva and counted 69 and triangle.
Jenny’s phone rang. She picked it and that was when Kim suggested that we should take it to the balcony. She got a condom,slipped it on me and just as she was to guide it in,the unexpected happened ……