CHIDINMA’S AUDACITY OF HOPE

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Usually I pay little attention to the Jesus statue in churches. I mean did anybody ever really take a picture of him or is this an image from ancient drawings and carvings, or worse – man’s imagination? But yesterday at Mass I found myself gazing at his statue and I had an epiphany.

Quite recently, I have been harassed on more than one occasion by friends, family and even foes on the dangers of being big. Truth be told, I worry about it too. I mean with all the trivial fashion, and more weighty health reasons they give for me to lose weight, who would not worry?

A friend even urged me to do anything possible lest I miss out on marital bliss– scary thought! Seeing as she is a size 8 with aristocratic looks, very single and ferociously hubby-hunting. In her books, a clear case of “e never better for person wey dem pray for come remain hu dem swear for”. For me, it is not about the hot dresses I cannot squeeze into, or my looks, or even this whole peer pressure thing. It is foremost about my health – this is a feeble attempt by me at convincing me.

Initially I started off skipping ropes and doing squats, but I ran of patience after I lost my iPod. Jogging and doing gym time was not particularly interesting either. Plus I really do not care what anyone says until after they have tried jogging with a hippo for a backpack. I know everyone says I need to take it slow, but how slow can I really go before I lose it? I have been doing the ‘tortoise trot‘ for a while now and seriously, the absence of results is frustrating. I get livid when people who do not know the half of what being big is all about make nasty comments just to sound smart, funny and/or important. If you do not have any positive suggestions to make, please park outside, right next to the transformer.

Before I got to meet a certain somebody, I disliked his penchant for writing mean remarks about fat people. The first time I gave him any attention, he had written a scathing article about how the only way a fat girl would get ‘some‘ from him, was if she would ‘pay’ him with ice-cream. Seriously?!! The next time came sooner than I expected, and at that time I was getting ready to settle at Kirikiri because I was sure murder was going to be the case.

This time around, he said some fat people exercise themselves by typing comments on the internet while eating a burger – it was very offensive but a tad amusing, considering I was on a food binge at the time and had the remnants of a chicken burger on my plate and that hit close to home.

I have never understood why people go out of their way to be nasty, even though most of them have that one orobo in their lives they profess to love. What happened to cheering that friend on as she battles with the extra rolls of fat?  Obviously, to a few, snide comments and bitching gets the job done. It might work for some, but I like to consider myself an exception to that rule. You see, I have been called all sorts of names in this life, from the bike men who promise to charge me per kg; to mama Emeka who owns the hottest isi-ewu  joint in my part of town and assumes being big translates to being ‘deep’ in the pocket too. I have proudly borne these names and even had a few good laughs on some occasions. I mean there is that saying, “if you can’t beat them… “

I was very much lost in thought and didn’t even realize it was time for communion till the man next to me nudged me on his way out. With my gaze still fixed on the statue, it hit me- wave after wave of relief coursed through me as I reveled in my aha moment.

Most of us have read about how much he trekked and how little he ate, but who ever stopped to take in what that did to/for his body? This man Jesus – judging by the pictures of him and his statues – was a looker. As I looked almost unseeingly at that statue of him on the cross, it occurred to me that I could do this, if only I followed in his stead. If he got an enviable muscled torso and strong arms from praying, fasting and trekking, surely that should work for me too.

Now I know how I want that saying to end in my case, “If I can’t beat them, then I should lead them”. My mentor did too, without a gym membership or an iPod. I know I can do this. I just need to get past this fear.

Written by Chidinma

Chidinma

Chidinma

I am the personification of Brutally blunt and Witty. I love my jokes funny, my music loud and my gists, colourful. I live my life by rules- my rules- and make no apologies for why I act the way I do. I define creativity as the act of evolving and evolving... Suffice to say that life and I are on first name terms- he is crazy about me too!

17 comments

  1. Absolutely delicious write up. I personally have a thing against people who are mean to people who are weighty. Seeing that I come from a family of “big” people I have come to understand that it is naïve and nasty to discriminate against people of size.

    That said, I am still one of those people who advices my “big” friends and family to lay off some. Strictly because of the health implications.

    Who told you that Jesus didn’t have an Ipod? What about all those angels singing praises to him as he forged on for our sake?

  2. This is an exceptionally moving and thought-provoking write-up from a young lady whom I consider to be both beautiful and extraordinarily talented. Keep it up kay, nobody should make u feel bad about yourself @ anytime cos you’re wonderfully and specially made by God and you’re beautiful both on the outside and the inside. True, being overweight has some health risks, but with perseverance, persistence and assistance from loved ones you can always be who you want to be. That being said, your self-esteem is yours and worth its weight in gold, thunder fire the person nyansh who tries to make you feel otherwise. We love you chidinma, always will. Peace girl

  3. Wow,very inspiring all I can say is never ever let anyone get you down cause ur a fabulous funny lady. Don’t follow the trend just do you and the sky will be the beginning of your success.

  4. this is soo real. i”m glad i read dis. unfortunately, the world 2day lay so much importance on physical appearance (thanks 2 hollywood & d media), so it is hard to get real love 2day, and much harder for people who are less “acceptable-looking”, unless of course, you happen to be rich or famous. The goal here should be YOU. your health, feelings, self-confidence, and overall well-being. besides, there is ABSOLUTELY NO ONE, that does not have a part of their body that they are not satisfied with, and beauty, wealth and fame does not guarantee happiness.

  5. “If I can’t beat them,lead them”…… My dear ehn,even me too dey get such comments oh. Like if they see me and my sis,the first thing they’ll say is, I can see who finishes the food in the house and I tell them, just because u can’t see food to eat doesn’t mean u should take it out on me. The sky is ur starting point love!!!

  6. Ooo ma gosh dis is a beatiful write up!!! Witty yet truthful.. As a fellow chic strugglin wiv weight loss it hits close 2 home! Dis is so sooothing and makes me feel like I aint alone whn pple tink tough love is d only way 2 go.. Fortunately 4 me I actually don’t hate ma body bt I do knw if I get d extra punds off I’ll feel healthier nd look better so Im def strivin 4 dat..All I can say is We will get there evn if it takes a million years! 🙂 excellent piece!

  7. this is a really nice piece here this gives people hope if you can’t beat them you lead them

  8. My dear  so feel чöü  this be healthy first then love ur bod be comfy with it but never ever try to please the crowd  went thru a phase when  was with a bf @ that time ex now sha although he never met me slim he was always  my case to be slimmer n ’m actually not even really big thankfully I’m now with a guy who loves me the way  am thinks I’m beautiful with my curves  do want to shed the weight now but its for all the right reasons and not cos  want a guy to love me more or anything

  9. Nice writeup Chidinma. While I definitely do not claim to walk in your shoes, in my other life as a fitness trainer (for 5yrs), I dealt with many in your shoes.

    I have found that losing weight and being healthy starts with doing what you LOVE to do. The exercise options you stated in your article, even for me, are so very boring. I hate the threadmill, among those mundane exercise machines. For me, a good game of basketball, volleyball or dancing does it, everytime.

    Try doing something you love. If you love dancing, enroll in a dance class (salsa, hip-hop etc). It is so much fun and the weight drops without you thinking. Also, one of the hallmarks of weight loss is diet, not to be confused with starving yourself, please. 60% of the issue is what you eat. I would take a more active step in understanding nutrition and what you put into your body.

    You need a fundamental understanding of food to end the frustrating cycle you find yourself. It means you must be willing to put in the work. Also, I do agree with your friends. Patience is key. Jumping ropes is rather intense for your joints and is also a quick way to stop trying.

    One step at a time. Easy does it. If I can be of help or should you have questions, feel free to contact me at (uduak@ladybrille.com).

    Good luck!

    Kindest regards,
    Uduak

  10. @tk- Jesus had his own private orchestra #okbye
    @Prex- I love u too
    @diks- smart thinking
    @fepecy- thanks bro.
    @Louisa E-thanks a lot dear.
    @Lota- *hug*
    @chichi- true talk. Thank you
    @Ajsarpong- we will mos-def get there,someday soon.
    @kim- thank you.I do hope someone got the message.
    @stranger- nice!happy for you.
    @Voke-thanks dear.
    @Uduak- this was so thoughtful of u. I will knock on ur doors whenever…thank u

    A big thank u to my friend MF- for walking me through this writeup.

  11. Wow! Chidinma, you write very well. I believe not everyone was made to be skinny, some people are naturally big and there’s little they can do about it unless they actually starve themselves for a while. But when they start eating again, guess what happens? The weight comes bck. Let’s see jennifer hudson in the next 2years. Look at how so called stars juggle their weights, slim today, fat tomorrow, it’s simply becaus they starve themselves. Please people should stop making fat jokes, its ignorant and offensive.
    Did I mention that you write well?

  12. You got me!

    I thought the moral of the story was that fasting, praying and trekking would give me the results I seek but the “if you can beat ’em, lead ’em” line surprised me. Impressed me of course, but surprised me nonetheless.
    I really enjoyed reading this and like Eleanor Roosevelt said, nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. You are beautiful just the way you are but if you don’t like the way you look, change it but don’t let the snide remarks of others get to you. After all, what do THEY know?

    Aside: But for real though, will fasting, praying and trekking work? ‘Cos I’m down to try anything.

  13. I wish I knew the answer too…thank u Frankscoz(beeutiful writtens u av too)
    @oroboh…namesake- thank u plenrri
    @dee mist…gracias mucho

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