This is more of an appeal than it is a read. You might consider them miscreants,”area boys”, an eye sore to society, vagabonds, or just simply TOUTS. I call them “The un Official Union of Taxators for unwarranted Services. I’m not here to talk about the guys you see at the bus park colouring buses with markers, but instead I’m here for their colleagues, the ones you encounter on your trips to the cinema, public functions, clubhouses, weddings and all events hosted in public places. If you still don’t comprehend, let me paint you a picture (geez,some of you are really slow sha). If you have ever been to the Galleria to watch a movie and decided to park anywhere aside the management provided parking spaces, then you have probably encountered one of the so called “TAXTORS’’. Some are even well known in certain localities. If you happen to bootleg all your movies and watch them all on your home screen (I know some badt guyz) then I’m simply talking about the men that come up to you when you’re out at a public function, or at at any club and say to you “Oga parking na 2hun’’. Yeah those TOUTS.
I am really curious about the birth of this service I am sometimes threatened and forced to pay for, the last time I checked, the highways and inner roads belonged to the State or Federal government paid for by tax payers and being a tax payer, I am entitled to sit my car on any part of the road and should only be fined or taxed by government officials not hoodlums that make an excuse ‘protecting’ my car. I am not a SLUUSH kid (tongue in cheek) and wasn’t left with a sizeable trust fund, I am in between jobs (the politically correct way to say I’m jobless)and my income isn’t meant to be shared with people that would rob me blind if the opportunity arose. I know some of you would say well it keeps them from robbing you but I beg to differ. I have been robbed by this same people meant to protect my belonging(and it happened where my belonging was meant to be protected).
I know some of you are saying I’m making all this hullabaloo because I’m a stingy ass boy, but really let’s look at it from my point of view, I believe in tipping, I don’t know who invented it, but it does make a lot of sense, and I do tip, concierges, waiters, bouncers and anyone who renders adequate, reliable service and does it with some decorum. I do not however believe that bullying me out of my Naira is adjudged to be tipping, it most definitely isn’t.
I know some of you are saying I should sit my bum at home since it’s too hot in the kitchen, but I beg to differ, back in the days it wasn’t this rampant and commonplace, it’s now a full time occupation which is untaxed (FIRS una dey hear). I would like you all to please desist from encouraging this new trend which I most definitely can say is just profiting the illegal drug, tobacco and “alomo” industries.
Thank you for your time!