IS THERE ANYTHING WRONG IN DATING YOUR BEST FRIEND’S EX?

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UNEC 1997. Chioma and Ada were roommates in Lady Ibiam right from their first year. They were so close they were referred to as “ Chicken & Chips” While Chioma was involved with a lot of people romantically during their stay in school, Ada dated only Mike. Ada’s relationship with Mike earned them the ‘Best Couple’ award twice in the annual SUG awards.

After school, Chioma and Ada moved to Lagos for NYSC but Mike moved back to his parent’s place in Port Harcourt. The distance didn’t help the relationship and they eventually broke up. Fast forward to 2011 Chioma went to the UK for a Masters degree programme where she met Mike and they ended up in a relationship. Being best friends with Ada, she told her about the relationship with Mike and now she’s threatening to poison both of them, their families and anybody bearing their surnames.

My question is, IS THERE ANYTHING WRONG IN DATING YOUR FRIEND/BEST FRIEND’S EX?

Noble Igwe

Noble Igwe

Nobs is a SLU…shh trust fund kid who works just to exercise his body and mind. He’s “Unruly” but as calm as the “ABE” boys. Referred to as FYI (Fly, Young and Igbo) by his friends, Nobs says iT tHe wAy iT iS. Follow him on Twitter @nobsdaslushhkid Enough of the English language……..My name is Noble Igwe,go figure!

44 comments

  1. Tough call. Its supposed to be against “girl code” to date someone your bestie dated. But you can’t always help who u fall for.

    I don’t think i could date some1 my bestie dated if they were in love (and i knew them both at that time) no matter how long ago it was. And if they were smashing each other…i don’t think i could overlook that lol.

  2. im currently dating my ex’s bestfriend, nd though ther was problems in ther beginning, errthin was sorted out, nd we all frends now…. so i guess its not wrong, it just depends on who’s involved

  3. Yes there’ڪ something wrong in dating ur bestfriend’ڪ ex.At some point,the friend just has this silly impression about you.concluding you prali had something for him from the on set…In some cases its beyond your control but I really don’t wanna imagine myself in this situation.

  4. I dated my ex boyfriend’s friend and our relationship lasted way more than i and my ex-boyfriend. At first it felt weird, but seeing as the ex dumped me for being emotionally unavailable, and this was over a year before i and his friend hooked up, i just stopped feeling guilty. His friend proposed to me in January…. Guess who’s laughing last? yep…my humble self :p

  5. It is really a tough call,the rule is you should never date your friend’s ex but you sure can’t help who you LOVE. If your friends relationship ended without any fault of yours and you find yourself in love with the ex later,babe go for it but inform your bestie and try to get her to understand(though it takes a selfless,realistic friend to understand)

    I wouldn’t want to be in this position though because it will make me question the relationship and also make me guilty for something that I can’t help. And I won’t want to be watching my back everytime.

  6. The rule is if your friend has cried over a guy, u can never date him! Its simple. Y didn’t she ‘fall in love’ wit him while we were dating? Why wait til years later? If the 2gals are as close as the story portrays, then chioma is wrong. I mean she shda known dat her friend ada was still not over the guy, yet she chose to pursue a relationship with him! She’s not a good friend! Shikena!

  7. It’s a rough and lonely road datin your friend’s ex but there’s law against it.
    I for one can’t date my friend’s ex cos its not rational.why her? Why not someone else? But the fact is love works in mysterious ways and ppl decide to take love where they can find it.
    The crux of the matter is that’s not right or wrong,it depends on the individuals ‘code of dating’

  8. Two “best couple” award hmmm…….its really a tough one! One tin 4 sure it can neva be same with chioma & mike as it were wit ada & mike cos dey neva quarelled just distance.

  9. it really depends on a lot of factors…thers noffin wrong wv it….but ther could be a whole lot wrong aftawards!!!!

  10. Almost everybody is someone’ڪ ex.I’ld rather date a guy whose ex I don’t know but my bestfriend’ڪ ex…nah.The thots would just be there

  11. love is powerful, we cant help who we fall in love with, i wont lose my soulmate because she’s my bestfriend’s ex, maybe he (my bestfriend) was meant to bring us together. AND when he left her, that meant they are over, so i dont really see why not. if ur bestie is really ur bestie, they’d give no fuck!!!

  12. I’m currently in a similar situation,I’m dating my friend’s ex who is also my ex’s best friend,complicated yeah right,nobody knows about it yet though both our exes are currently married to other people,I don’t want it out yet else it’s not serious and we can pretend it never happened and not lose our friends in the process.

  13. When it comes to being happy, there’s no right or wrong. It is just a battle between your happiness and their judgment. It might be quite tacky but hey, this is life, nothing suprises me anymore.

    I have done it before but I won’t try it again.

  14. The fact is the best friend will never understand your reason or motive for dating her ex even if you call it LOVE.
    The scenario is twisted and if anyone is every caught up in dis ish, don’t say anythin in defence of your action cos ur best friend will never understand

  15. my friends have dated my ex and sometimes it may seem cliche but at the end, i wnt diss ma nigga becos of a chick

  16. There is nothing wrong but there is always this guilty conscience thing that keeps reminding you that you aint doing the right thing. Most times such relationships always don’t last,just ‘a for a while thing’. It isn’t even a nice thing dating someone dat someone you know has dated before because you guys will always be trying to prove to the world that you guys can make the relationship work and sooner or later,you guys will just be tired of doing that. Trust me,I have been down that road TWICE

  17. @ELECTRONICA…I get your point.Girls come and go but the guys are constant.
    The fact is some people won’t jus give a damn whereas some ppl will.

  18. yh..it actually depends on whos involved, but i think most of the times somthn like this happens, the relationship seems to last longer, #justsaying

  19. I’m married to my ex-boyfriend’s best mate from childhood. Yep! I met him 2 yrs after my ex and I split, though we remained very good friends.
    It was awkward initially as my husband and I dated. Ex refused to speak wth me for months but remained ever so close to my hubby(who ddnt interfere in the rift). When it was imminent we were going to tie the knots, I made moves to talk about it, seeing he was going to be the bestman and a part of our lives. We’re all chummy buddies now, with kids and all.

    On one hand, I do think the acceptance of the situation depends on the selflessness and candour of ‘the friend who feels aggrieved’.

    On the other hand, I wldnt date a guy who has been sexual wth my best-girl mate. Can’t get past thier intimacy!

  20. My answer(s) will be found in “She Married Him Last Saturday” posted here on 360nobs.
    PS: we still hang out, bbq, video games we r cool. Not tyt, but cool n dat works.

  21. There is nothing wrong in dating ur friends ex. I’m dating my friends ex and i’m loving every minute of it. If i don’t date him someone else will so no biggie….

  22. Going by dat story, since the pair are that close, it implies they r bonded by sumtin stronger than love. To me, its just wrong dating her ex….its tantamount to incest. Shuo!!!
    Sleeping wiv my sister’s ex…Mba o! Amadioha sef go shout

  23. Personally I can’t do it but there is something called indiviual difference.some people might b cool with while others would jump off a bridge when they find out.But sometimes u find yourself in certain situations u can’t handle and one of them is falling in love.initally things might not be fine between the friends especially if d dude in question broke ur bestie’s heart but as time goes on it should turn out well.but its gonna b hilarious if the dude breaks ur own heart too so the safest thing is to avoid it if&when you can.

  24. Ok… Just so we clear on dis, there IS such a fing as GIRL CODE!
    Besides, I’m way too paranoid to date my besties ex because I’d prolly fink he would sneak behind my back and go do the Okafor’s Theory wiv her. *Kanye Shrug* JMO!
    On the other hand, I had a fling wiv MY ex’s bestie. He was sinfully haaawt and was a nasty-freaky in the *cough* But alas it didn’t last tho! I had the attack of the guilties and had to end the shag sessions.
    *sigh*

  25. I kinda get why Ada’s mad…if they broke up just because of distance, then she’s most likely not over him & her best friend should’ve known that. In those circumstances, she shouldn’t have dated Mike.
    However, if Ada’s over him but is just being possessive, girl code be damned. If years after college (ASUU years included)& NYSC, I happen to love (not facebook love, I mean Titanic-type love) my best friend’s ex & get over thoughts of them…together, she should at least consider the likelihood of him being my soulmate.
    As for the threats of poisoning, Mountain of Fire, baby! Every enemy…

  26. If you call youself my beastie pls hands off my left overs. It’s a rule up there in the sky, you don’t get it on with ur friend’s sloppy second’s. Just saying

  27. In my own opinion, it just boils down to personal preference. There is no way in this lifetime i would see myself intimately involved with my best friends ex. Especially in this context, its obvious they were madly in love and Chioma literally knew alot about Mike even without him knowing it.
    It would be so easy for her and Mike to start a relationship because they already know each other.
    To me its a big trust being broken, and if they don’t get married. Ch

  28. In my own opinion, it just boils down to personal preference. There is no way in this lifetime i would see myself intimately involved with my best friends ex. Especially in this context, its obvious they were madly in love and Chioma literally knew alot about Mike even without him knowing it.
    It would be so easy for her and Mike to start a relationship because they already know each other.
    To me its a big trust being broken, and if they don’t get married. Mike and Chioma are really F****D

  29. ‘ i can never do it’ Its easy for people to say but experience tells me otherwise. I was also of the school of thought till it hit me, WHAM!!! I’m nat dating the gurl yet but im getting there.

  30. Peeps! It’s just a shame.For God’s sake! May we nt b emmeshed in such shizzle.
    Well,she’s obviously 2nd best to her:cud they av been at it b4 they broke-up?
    Lust 4 shizzle ma nizzle.
    I respect pple’s opinion and aspirations,bt nt dis 1.It’s gonna b psychological 4 reazzle.

  31. There’s no biggy in dating ur friend’s ex as long as u know they r totally broken up. U can’t deny urself happiness cos ur friend once dated d person. Just as long as u remember that if it happens to you, u shld b able to take it in ur stride as well

  32. Dis is coming rather late but i still need ‎​†☺ put down my opinion. There an unspoken rules bwt friends concerning dating exex, so all friend ex boyfriend/girlfriend daters are betrayers. U ® only allowed if u never knew but in the case of Ada and Chiom, she knew and yet she messed up. U jst dnt fall fir ur friend’s ex nt a close friend for dat mata

  33. Yes i believe there is. In my first year at Uni, i had a huge crush on a close friend’s ex and he also liked me but I felt too guilty to want to go into a relationship. Reasons being….there was no way my friend wouldn’t feel a bit jealous,i would have been too….there was just this sense of betrayal about it. In conclusion I felt it would have put a little strain on our friendship.

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