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by Noble Igwe on Tuesday, 15 December 2009 at 15:20



Nobs ……….

I could hear my name but I wasn’t so sure of who was calling because at that point in my dream I was with Amber R (Yeah same Amber…We’re having an affair) and she had her head on my chest.

I put her beside me, stood up and that was when I woke up to hear the security guard screaming my name downstairs.

I switched on the light in the living room and the time was just 4am….

Who calls his boss at 4am without planning on his losing his job?

There had better be a good reason such as ‘my neighbor’s two girl friends finally met each other and were about to kill him but needs my spare car tyre to burn him after”

Nobs: Chima what?

Chima: Oga, na dis mopol officers. Them talk say them come arrest you.

Nobs: Officer, it’s 4 in the morning and I really don’t understand why or who’s arresting me.

Officer: Sir, we are acting on instruction

Nobs; Whose, if I may ask?

Officer: Oga, please come down

I went to my room, removed my Gucci PJs, put on some clothes. Called my Friends (ABE) to inform them that I was being arrested and none of them could do anything.(So much for friendship and moving about town in cars with green plate number)

I went downstairs, informed the security guard to call my office by 7am and inform them that I’ve been arrested.

I got into the car and that was when I saw Banky W in handcuffs and a tape covering his mouth.

We got to the police station in Ikoyi and that was when the real drama started.

Officer -“Where’s the master?’

Officer -“Who are you to change the way things are down here?

Officer – “They don’t know anything and yes, we have the right to feed them anything.”

Officer -“ ‘You can’t come from overseas and change our lifestyle”

(Slap) Taa taa…”You are Igbo abi?”

Nobs – “Yes sir”

Officer – “We need that master and we want it now”

Officer – “They don’t need to know the truth”

Officer – “They will buy anything, anyways”

Officer -“We’ve been selling them garbage in form of R&B and they’ve been buying”

Officer -“Both of you lie down”

Officer -“Where are the other members of EME?

Officer -“If I catch that wizkid boy, I’ll cast out the signing wizard in him”

Officer – “Just a slap and the skales will fall out of the other one’s eyes”

Officer – “Leave them to die without experiencing good music”

Officer – “Officer, tie them to that tree and if they don’t produce the master in 10 minutes, shoot them”

At that point, another officer ran out with his phone shouting” Oga, we don late ooooo

I just got a call from Alaba and they just confirmed that The W Experience has dropped but that is not the worst sir

Officer: “So what’s the issue?”

Ah ahh Oga, Mr President is on the line for you

Officer: “Good Morning his Excellency. Erm are you calling from Saudi, sir?

President: Erm yels..They are having a “Lagos party” here sef and someone tried to “thief my kele” by touching her “Tanker” and trust me, I did him”Strong ting’.

Officer I heard you arrested Bankole with that Igbo one? Please release them cos we are ‘Feeling it” and ‘Nobody” can stop the world from listening to “The W Experience”

Let me speak with Bankole

Officer:  “Okay sir

he then passed the phone to Banky W

Banky W; His Excellency

President “W” kai…Mr Capable, Ode quality..I dey feel am”No be lie. Thank you for quality music. I’m enjoying it and they “Can’t stop Me

Banky W:”Thank you sir

President:”You are welcome. Let me speak to Omo ibo”

And that point my alarm went off………….

The W Experience……..In stores, the street and

Noble Igwe

Noble Igwe

Nobs is a SLU…shh trust fund kid who works just to exercise his body and mind. He’s “Unruly” but as calm as the “ABE” boys. Referred to as FYI (Fly, Young and Igbo) by his friends, Nobs says iT tHe wAy iT iS. Follow him on Twitter @nobsdaslushhkid Enough of the English language……..My name is Noble Igwe,go figure!


  1. I just didnt know wat to xpect…this was gud Noble. Where is our weekly dose of aural porn though?
    Na wa o

  2. Hehehe,with the Banky W/Ms Capable date,I sincerely thought it was ‎​D̶̲̥̅̊ details of the dα†e. Nobs you’re a wizkid or do  say wizguy cos ‎​D̶̲̥̅̊ -kid and -boy are taken.

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