As a kid, I believed that Nigeria was a beautiful place, harmonious and peaceful. The people were friendly, courteous and were free from the disease of insanity. I would later realize that insanity was one of the I’s in Nigeria.
My first encounter with a mad person was from afar and I just assumed he got to that state from an overdose of heroine (I actually knew what that was at the age of 8, thank you Hollywood for corrupting my innocent mind).
At that moment my definition of insanity was basically, a dirty raggedy man (or woman which was odd), who had overdosed on some substance and had gone past the point of no return. Little did I know that insanity also wore a 3piece suit ,worked 9-5 and drove a Range Rover sport.
Who is insane? I’m sure you’re all wondering, or some of you already know. Well to answer that question I have to take you through a discourse and hope by the end of my dribble you’ll have figured it out.
Insanity is not just a junkie’s leftovers, it’s simply a disease. The man hearing voices that tell him to blow up eagle square is insane (that we all agree on), the man who decides to sleep with his own flesh and blood is most definitely out of his mind (Sanusi fafunwa no dey close nah), but did you know that the man that speeds up when you signal indicating you’re about to enter the next lane or take the next turn is yes (you’re on the money) INSANE. I mean why else would you speed up when I indicate my intentions by use of signals, if you can see it then you have no reason to speed up and make it a task just for me to change lanes. Also the driver that sees a red light and decides to jump the light irrespective of other road users is also insane (you don’t need a Harvard degree to tell you what a red light means). Those drivers that can’t seem to seat out traffic but would rather be foolhardy and block off the route for on-coming vehicles are also insane. The countless drivers that get on the road while being under the influence and putting lives (theirs and yours) at risk are yes insane too. Grown up men (Leaders o, not area boys) throwing chairs at each other to settle a discord or argument also reeks of insanity.
My people you might question why the people described are insane since this seems more like a case of impatience, the truth is insanity is defined as extreme folly, senselessness and foolhardiness.(Now read the last paragraph with this definition in mind) Voila!
Believe me when I say insanity reigns supreme, most especially on our highways; people are in a rush to ______ (please fill in the blanks, ‘cause I’ve asked and no one has answered). I know we are permitted six minutes of madness every day, but for Pete’s sake can we use up our six minutes and leave the next few days supply for the next few days, at the rate we’re going we would have to import madness from Ghana and other neighbouring countries.
I could go on and on about this but that would just be INSANE. I would rather save my six minutes for action film. (You know the earlier Stallone movies, way before first blood) wink wink!