I am not the girl I used to know. I am a more defined version of the old me.
Seriously, I get a lot of oohs and aahs when peers and friends from my past see me- change is truly the only constant variable.
When I first started out at the university, in my first year, I was the ‘french speaking’ brainy from Paris (I wonder where that gist sprouted from), who was almost always clad in short jean skirts, nice looking sneakers, with a pair of ankle socks of course – a strange look on a fat girl, who was an artificial blonde. I even remember the fact that I was one of a handful of students at the time who owned two pairs of ‘drivers’- you know, those loafers that were trending about seven years ago. Need I mention that I was quite eloquent? Well, this was only until I settled into my hostel.
From my second year till graduation, I was the girl with a permanent smirk on her visage; I was loud and often carried out my conversations in pidgin english with a healthy blend of igbo. Gone were my days of ‘phonerising’ and acting cool. Laissez faire, became my new slogan.
I was that girl who caused her friends to panic when after a head count amongst ‘my clique’, I was nowhere to be found – just before they filed into the exam hall. After a rapid succession of phone calls from all who cared, I was the missy you would see sprinting into the hall, sweating from every opening of her body, in bathroom slippers, a well worn pair of jeans and a frayed tee.
I was that girl you ran to when you needed an animated version of the latest amebo, or just random gist. Back then, most of my course mates even helped out in mothering me; they took up, the duty of helping me check my results, once they got out- man! Did that save me a long trek to the exams and records building?
Three years after school, I’m still surprising myself. Nowadays, I wear makeup. Dead and gone are all my threadbare and frazzled clothings. My restless tongue, nomadic spirit and fretful mind finally found themselves an outlet- my hands. I am not yet where I should be but everyday, I smile and whisper a thank you prayer to the heavens because I know, this is the right path I tread. For the first time in forever, I know where I am headed.
I am not the girl I used to know. No!
My name is Chidinma, I am a scribe and now, I am one of you.