Chike has been unrelenting in his pleading spree, even when I would just pick his calls and then drop it (na wa oh!). He has sent flowers, chocolate and has dropped a 24carat gold wrist watch. Now considering the amount of gifts and at the rate at which they have been delivered – my colleagues have now gotten involved in the PLEA FOR CHIKE(smh).
“Baby Dee, give the guy another chance na!!!” is the current office mantra (sigh). And that is backed up with “If he didn’t care or have feelings for you; he will not continue with these gestures”.
Now, am seriously thinking of giving him another try but in my mind my thoughts are – Why was he so quick to react (not that reacting is bad), Why get so angry or tensed up the way he does and What will happen if during one of his episodes, he gets physical and decides to give me a slap? (The slap would be something sha – now reciting Psalm 23 for the Lord’s protection).
On that note, I decided to pray, and research a little for relationship Dos and Dont’s via the WWW. So, I came up with the following points that I feel (I feel oh!!!) will help Chike and myself if I/WE decide to go through with the relationship.
RELATIONSHIPS DOS AND DON’TS ACCORDING TO BABY DEE:
1. Communication: Talking is one of the most important things in a relationship. The ability to know when and how to communicate to a loved one is a blessing in disguise. Agreed, we all loose it at one point or the other but once we get back to our senses, let us learn how to talk with love and respect to our loved ones.
2. Telling the Truth: I know most articles will say, do not dwell on your past for so long, but I would say talk about it in a positive way. Truth is a necessary thing to create trust. Respect is earned from trust and love is earned from respect (Shikenah).
3. Have Self Respect: If you love yourself (like I obviously do) it would be easier to respect your boy/girlfriend. No man likes a woman who lacks self-respect and does things only for attention. Conduct yourself appropriately during social outings so that he/she will be proud to be with you always.
4. Accept what he/she says: It’s not your job to fix your mate, and it’s not his or her job to fix you. Take the relationship and what your mate says at face value and stop reading into what you’d like to hear.
5. Tenderness: Showing kindness is important to both parties in a relationship. For men, it means you intuitively know when he needs your help or you could make his life a little easier by doing something for him. For women, it just shows you care. Women love it when men check on them and do unexpected things for them.
6. Pick your Fights: Ladies, please ask yourself; is this issue really going to matter in 5 years? If not, Life is too short, don’t waste it on arguments that have no meaning or purpose.
7. Never try to solve a problem when you are angry. Take time to cool down. I know this can seem impossible at times but think about it – Is anything ever really solved when you are yelling at each other? And both should be the first to say ‘I AM SORRY’ when the drama is over.
8. Mind your language: Any negative, hurtful or sarcastic remark is abusive. As human beings, our words sting our partners much more than any other thing around. Like a sharp knife, each word will carve out a chunk of a loving relationship that can never grow back. Please and please, consider the source and outcome of your remarks before you open your mouth.
9. Crack each other up: Stupid pet names (sugar plum, boo boo, cheese cake and sweetness). Humour has a knack for binding couples together and reducing conflict. It also shows friendship in the relationship.
10. Know when it’s time to jet: Please ladies and gentlemen alike, don’t stay in any abusive relationship for the sake of love. Do not hope things will get better because he/she says they will change!!! Get your stepping.
So what do you guys think? Additions, subtractions!!!