NAIJA POLICE

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…I’ve been thinking of what to write for quite sometime (experiencing writer’s block) but as I took a walk in my estate the topic came to me. I’m gonna write about The Naija Police *it should be fun*

Motto: to serve and protect, slogan: the police is your friend (I think I’m correct) however, their actions contradict these statements. Instead of serving and protecting they rule and oppress, instead of being our friend, they gradually become our enemy.

I don’t know your experience with the Naija Police but I’ve had quite a few. This arm of our law enforcement oppresses, suppresses, terrorizes as well as depresses the naija people. Hardly will you find anyone having a good thing to say about the Naija Police except their family members (a small percentage of the Naija population).

I know people will wonder why they behave in this manner, let’s have a little history class shall we: during the colonial era, the colonists established the constabulary in order to ensure the naija people (back then) comply with colonial rule (which the people considered draconic). So the constabulary acted as the watchdog for the colonists, they oppressed their own people, locked them up (when ordered to) and forced them to pay their taxes etc.

The Naija Police evolved from the constabulary of the colonial era, so you can know understand why they oppress and suppress the people. They have been doing so prior to impendence. So protect the people have never been their goal.

Unlike cops in European countries, ours have to walk the street with Ak-47s. I wonder why a police officer will be among civilians or walking down the street with a gun, is that not intimidating (maybe they are scared). Their outfit is a total killer; they wear a black uniform for Christ sakes. Black is synonymous with mourning, death and other sad and evil vices. There was a time, they wanted the colour changed but it’s not about the colour but their orientation.

To know how sick people are of them, even Naija musicians had to write songs about the naija police (wish Fela was alive, may his soul rest in perfect peace). D’banj in his first album had “Mr Olopa”, Psqaure had “Oga Police”, in MI’s “my belle my head” the third verse depicted police harassment of the people:

“ oga stop there/ abi you know see road block here (their aggressive nature)… if you wanna pass something gat to drop here (oppression)/ you no dey see gun abi you know well (intimidation)/ if you form actor you go go cell (dat’s standing on your right)/ see behind counter no be hotel/, you go spend 3nights b4 you go bail (no respect for habeas corpus law)/ but if you won move/ you know wetin you suppose do(extortion)….

On different occasions have been stopped by the Naija Police only when I’m driving (they have a thing against young guys driving cars):

Officer: stop! Park park abi you know hear (shouting)

Me: hello officer

Officer: where are your particulars?

Me: here

Officer: driver’s license

Me: here

Officer: wetin dey booth

Me: nothing

Officer: this car is a stolen vehicle

Me: no o! The car belongs to my mum (her name is on the particulars o!)

Officer: Na lie (is he blind?) officer, enter hin dey go station

Me: Na my mama car officer

To cut the long story short, I go to the station after all their shouting; I go home after 3-4 hrs. By the time I get home I’m usually tired so I go to bed. They I wonder why they like to waste my time. Then I realised that some people don’t give a crap about them.

Officer: stop

The individual: yes

Officer: park

The individual; are you mad? (He just zoomed off)

I was watching from the other side of the road, they had stopped my uncle. Seeing that I realised my uncle and I just ‘dulled ourselves’.

Now, if you understand something, you will know how to handle it without getting pissed. You’ll also have the upper hand.

Key points:

*Never show fear (they feed on it and it makes them strong)

* Always be on the right side of the law (cos if you’re not, dat’s the end. You become a meal ticket)

* When they serve you shit and you’re on the right side, serve them back

* Know your rights (they hate people that know it, they detest lawyers)

That’s it for the Naija Police for now, if any new events crop up or they develop new characteristics, I’ll keep you posted. I think I should gist you guys about FRSC next, they have descended on my estate and are making life a living hell for the drivers…..

Abido

Abido

Regular guy with countless thots going thru his mind. Simple, jovial, easy-going always wondering why things are what they are. I’m different things 2 a lot of people -a son 2 few, a brother to sum, a friend 2 many n enemy 2 none(frm my angle). Believes in God. A realist always trying 2b objective*a difficult human trait*, however I’m simply just ME (no definition 4 that).

8 comments

  1. Bros u didn’t say anytin ’bout their love for 20naira which has increased tu 50naira lately……nice write up though,this should be on the punch n vanguard.

  2. At this point, the police seem to be the least of our problems. Last summer, my brothers and I encountered a set of different guys at different points on the road who ran up to us despite moving traffic, and yelled at us to park. The first group tell us they’re with the Lagos State Environment something; when we’re stopped the next time, in Ogun state, it’s the Ogun state environment something. Apparently we didn’t have a trash can in our bus…why the hell would we have a trash can in a private bus; why didn’t they stop public buses or other private cars? Of course the response is some bs.
    We ask for ID only to be flashed with some crap, and then we’re told that we’d have to pay like 10 grand for a small size plastic trash can you’ll find for 200 bucks in the market that was 6 minutes away. They threaten to take us to their office, we agree to follow since we’re chilling anway. One of ’em starts preaching about how he doesn’t care who we are, and how one time one of Gbenga Daniel’s runs babes called GD to report him, and GD goes…oh no, I trust those guys, give ’em what they want.
    Anyhoo, we destroy their heads with English, they finally acquiesce and are like “Sister, help your boys”. After which my brothers and I decide to drop them like 200 quid.
    Koko of the story, it’s not just the military guys who aren’t afraid to mess with us now, civilians sef don get balls.at least when it’s the military, you know whom to curse and bind

  3. @Khellvyn…I should have included the 20 is(I just didn’t want to condemn them)

    @teeblase…thanks

    @Ready on…Everybody wants to a boss(they learnt from the police) so now,civilians oppress civilians.I actually like the way u handled them.you musn’t just accept BS from anyone.

    @bcgeorge… “Mr Olopa kini mose fun e o”(D’banj).Thanks very much

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