Memoirs Of A SLU…shhkid : Wk 37

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So I left Bacchus thinking “ What if Biola shows up at mine while I was busy smashing Titi?” I didn’t like the picture that my mind created so I decided to move it to the following day.

My birthday was so family centred that I didn’t bother taking anybody home with me. My two sisters were around and loads of my friends were staying at mine so there was no way I was going to let someone scream my name.

Friday February 11th,2011.


So I got home and decided to BB Titi

Nobs: Hey

Titi : Hey handsome

Nobs: Hey, I’m sure you added me so that you can share my messages with  Biola.

Titi : Stop already; What sort of insult is that?

Nobs: I’m just saying. I don’t want to be a source of gossip for you chics.

Titi : Nobs, I know that Biola is just f**king you and that is it.

Nobs : Where are you?

Titi: Lekki

Nobs: should I come get you?

Titi: Sure why not…

Nobs : You know what, why don’t we start with a movie or dinner cos I wouldn’t want you to think this is about sex.

Titi : Who is this?

Nobs : It’s Noble Igwe

Titi: For you it’s just about the sex and nothing more.

Nobs: Movie after work, deal?

Titi: Cool

So I went to bed hoping that they would call me from work asking me not to bother coming to work but no,that did not happen instead I was awake at 6am brushing my hair.


I was almost sleeping at work but the thought of my date with Titi kept me awake with hope.

Now let me describe Titi a bit. Titi is a proper Yoruba girl with the proper Yoruba shape. Her boobs are like properly grown Pawpaws and her ass will make any gay man say ‘It might not be bad being a Bi


You know this thing abut time moving slowly especially when you are waiting on a booty call! Well, I wasn’t waiting on a booty call; I was waiting for the close of business so that I can go home and rest properly.

Maybe my discomfort was as a result of old age and not the lack of sleep.

I was out on lunch when my phone rang and for a full 28 seconds, I didn’t know if I really wanted to take the call or not, but I decided to take it

Nobs : What do you want ?

Ada : I called you yesterday but you didn’t take my call.

Nobs : Loads of people called me

Ada : Buzor, anyi ana ese okwu?

Nobs : Mba but things are no longer the same

Ada : How ?

Nobs: Ada, you are married at least traditionally to Okey.

Ada: But we agreed that we’d meet to talk about this?

Nobs: Ada, let’s not start something we’ll regret later. We should stop communicating with each other. I’m not good for you.

Ada: Buzor, I really care about you. I know that it is late but we can still be friends.

Nobs: Ada, we need to stop talking because you may not like the end result.

Ada: Buzor, I’ve not done anything with my husband

Nobs: But he’s now your husband and things must stay that way.

Ada: I’ll be in Lagos soon to shop for my wedding and I’ll like to see you.

Nobs: You can’t stay at mine. Not any longer.

Ada: I know you wouldn’t let me, but can we see to talk?

Nobs: That won’t be a problem

Ada: Happy belated birthday, Nkem.

Nobs: I’m not Nkegi but Thank you.

Ada: I’ve missed talking to you and I pray someday you’ll add me to you blackberry.

Nobs: I hope so too

Ada: Ngwa gbado anya.

Nobs: My regards to your dad and mum.

I won’t even lie, I ‘ve missed Ada a lot but there was no way I was going back to that and not even now that I am looking for a wife of my own. I know this may sound somehow to some of you but I need to get me a woman to give birth to very cute three children (Cue to anybody looking for same) and will make me proud enough to tattoo  her name on my back.


Like every long journey, there’s always an end point. I tried not to buzz Titi immediately I left work so I wouldn’t look desperate and just in case she planned it with Biola, I wouldn’t also appear too eager.

Nobs: Yo

Titi : Took you the whole day to say hi

Nobs: I’m so sorry, I was too busy at work.

Titi : But not too busy to tweet?

Nobs: Sheet! You follow me? What’s your handle?

Titi: won’t tell. Where are you?

Nobs : Leaving work in a bit.Where do we meet ?

Titi : You say

Nobs : Galleria, no?

Titi : That would be great

Nobs: See you in a bit.

Okay to be truthful, I only chose the galleria because any other place would appear suspicious if Biola was behind it.

On the other hand, after spending mad money the day before, there was no way I was going to have any expensive dinner with Titi when I wasn’t sure she was spending the night.

I got to the galleria and Titi was waiting upstairs by the ticket stand with 2 other chics.

I walked to her expecting Biola to jump out from the corner but nothing of that nature happened.

Nobs: Hey Titi

Titi: Hey Nobs.

Nobs: How was your day?

Titi: Fine. Meet Jennifer and Funmi

Nobs: Nice to meet you, Jennifer. Nice to meet you Funmi. Erm Titi, can I speak with you for a minute?

Nobs: What’s up? Are your friends on the same date with us?

Titi : You spoke so much of Biola that I was scared you may invite her so I decided to bring along my friends.

Nobs: Oh cool. Now we are aware that we have Biola on our side.

Titi: Yep! Give me a minute to discharge them.

Titi came back minutes later but instead of talking about the movies, her first words shocked me

Titi: Nobs, you had a tiring day yesterday and it would be unfair to put you though a long movie when all you need to do, is get some rest while I work your back.

Nobs: truth be told, I’m really tired and would require all that massage.

She drove behind me as I told her I needed to make one quick stop…  my “suppliers” house to enable me collect some new work tools.

We got home and after having our bath, Titi asked me for fresh sheets.

Bed looking neat with me in just boxers and a v neck t-shirt, Titi undressed and wore only a marching lacy panties and heels. At that point, I knew she has been reading my tweets.

She took the cuffs and locked my hands above my head

Put a pillow below my back and used her tongue from my ears down to my feet.

I was shaking, trembling but enjoying every bit of it.

I thought I was going to faint but that was until her mouth rested in between my legs.

For a long time, Titi was in charge and all the cake and other things I got on my birthday seemed a huge joke cos she was giving me the best birthday present.

Saturday February 12th,2011


I woke up in the morning only to see a BBM and 16 Pings from Biola.

Biola : I have a meeting on the Island for 11am and I’m I’ll bring you cake. Please reply when you get this.

I was confused because Titi’s car was packed downstairs and there was no way I was going to rush her out without one for the road.

Noble Igwe

Noble Igwe

Nobs is a SLU…shh trust fund kid who works just to exercise his body and mind. He’s “Unruly” but as calm as the “ABE” boys. Referred to as FYI (Fly, Young and Igbo) by his friends, Nobs says iT tHe wAy iT iS. Follow him on Twitter @nobsdaslushhkid Enough of the English language……..My name is Noble Igwe,go figure!


  1. Hmmm,interesting but I wouldn’t be bothered about Biola afterall all you guys have is just ‘sex’ innit? Unless…
    Anyway I hope -km the first to reply though *fingers crossed*

  2. Hmmm,interesting but I wouldn’t be bothered about Biola afterall all you guys have is just ‘sex’ innit? Unless…
    Anyway I hope I’m the first to reply though *fingers crossed*

  3. Nice story…
    BUT WAS IT U OR BIOLA THAT GBAGAUN’D? “Biola : I have a meeting on the Island for 11am and I’m bring you cake. Please reply when you get this” Pls correct it

  4. gosh….this is too interesting…but wouldn’t i be fun to watch a girl fight..u know the whole offing earings and all..lmfao

  5. @nob sorry bt dry write up frm titi givin u 2 u woke up 2 c biola bbm, its lik ur losin ur mojo writin skills. U wrote us a map witout no direction

  6. so Ada still wants a piece even though she’s married.well,cant blame her or where else can she learn d ropes other dan frm da ultimate man’whore himself.interestin read but rather too short.
    Also welcomin ya’ll to Season titi.cant imagine even almighty lepa sori Slim was missin on ya bdae.
    *please continue on wednesday*

    1. Lol…this just further solidifies my questions…I know his descriptions sound amazing, but if that type of big toe belongs to a woman he finds attractive, which kin babes is he pulling?

  7. Bia nwoke! noce story but pls spare me the stress of logging on every morning n not being able to read ur memiors. uv been incommunicado fo too long. hope u r back for gud?

  8. So when does Titi get her payment of an expensive meal since she not only stayed the night but will give you one for the road. Way to turn even your regular hook-up into a payment transaction.

  9. Ugly feet ! how can u make out with sumone wit ugly feet ! and is dat ur carpet ?? so ugly ! ewwwww ! or bed spread .. even worse ! u gotta clean up man !

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